Is your 9 year old really annoying?

I came here for the very same reason. My 9yo is irritating the hell out of me lately. Silly noises, short screams (similar to when he was 5 but grew out of it), not listening. I feel guilty for feeling this way. I want my old feelings back

But for the chewing, get ear plugs. Lots of them out there for kids with ASD. It's not her fault you may have undiagnosed autism and sensory issues.

Yeah, great suggestion. Sit down at the dinner table, mum puts her ear plugs in. That’ll help their bond and won’t freak the daughter out at all.

@Pollyputhekettleon i don't think your comment was rude but it is hard to get a diagnosis of autism, and the OP can self diagnose and learn about how to navigate life successfully as a ND person. Having said that getting a proper diagnosis would probably mean more access to help if that help is out there (depending on funding for her area.)

My 10 year old DD2 is intensely annoying. Never stops talking, stroppy, untidy, always pushing at boundaries and generally obstreperous. However, her hormones are at play and she's in full blown tweendom.

This too shall pass. Just like it did for her older sister who is a fabulous teen and whom I felt exactly the same about at 10!

My 9 year old son doesn't sleep much which is annoying. That's about it, although he's going through that phase when he says words like wee and poo and then laughs hysterically.

My 9 year old niece is really annoying though, very boastful and show offy.

😂😂😂 ok

Don't feed the undesirable behaviour , try ignore it if possible . Praise her for when she behaves well.

With the constant talking I would just not respond to everything she says. It sounds exhuasting. She will realise when you don't respond that you aren't interested and will stop.

I'm really struggling with 9 yo DS at the moment. We constantly clash. He hates everything by all accounts and is turning into quite the spoiled brat. He is disciplined quite strictly, has no phone etc but just seems to complain about everything. Hoping it's a phase rather than this being my life for the next 10 years🤯

OP you are getting some harsh comments here, but I want to say well done for acknowledging how you feel and wanting to change it.
I’ll put my two cents in: I once was that 9 year old, who talked too much(my mum used to call me “radio”) and whatever I did just seemed to annoy my mum. Once I started picking this up, at first I was confused, then devastated. We eventually drifted apart and I left home at 17. We still talk, but we are not close. I suspect my mum has some sensory issues (won’t go to the cinema as it’s just too loud for her etc). It took me a long time to process my relationship with her and to realise I was not a problem.

Love my 8 year old to pieces, but I also feel this in my soul. She's either wildly happy or devastated, and the talking just doesn't stop. It's a classic introvert/extrovert clash in this house.

Haha, mine are older now but yes, I have definitely had ick times. Like they have with me! Apparently I'm very annoying at times. It's normal. We're also very complimentary to each other when we're feeling the love. Stop stressing OP and carve out some me time.

In what possible universe is it rude to suggest that someone who thinks she has autism and accompanying sensory issues, which are causing her to find her 9 year old 'icky' and 'bloody irritating', should actually get a diagnosis and appropriate support?

I don’t want to derail OP’s thread, but how easy do you think it is to get an autism diagnosis, and what sort of ‘support’ do you think might be available?

Anyway OP. I don’t have a 9 year old, mine are younger, but frankly I’ve never met a 9 year old I didn’t find hideously annoying and I have no doubt I’ll find my kids annoying when they’re that age.

Polly if only it was that easy for everyone who thinks they might be autistic to "get that diagnosed and get help" and then no longer struggle with the things they are struggling with. Like nipping to the shop for some paracetamol perhaps?

To be fair, you said you think you're autistic. If you are ND, there's a high chance that your child is, too. I think people were just asking if she could be a bit more intense than other kids because of ND, which, in turn, is causing you more sensory overload.

I'm autistic and have ADHD (formally diagnosed, medicated for the latter) so no judgement.

It's a you problem. Not her.

Yanbu

Anyway, this is getting in the way of people who actually do want to help the OP, so I'll draw a line there.

@Pollyputhekettleon OK, we'll rewrite what you said as "You sound like you're struggling. Perhaps you do have a disability that's making it hard for you to connect with your child. Have you thought about following that up with your GP?"

Because that would have been fine, I agree. It's just not what you said 😊

Give it a rest, Polly.

My dds are a similar age and also can be very annoying with the talking, whinging, begging for sweets etc. Doesnt mean they aren't funny and lovely at other times. It's always full on when you don't have another parent/family to have them at times.

Oh and until very recently a phase of talking in a whiny baby voice.

In what possible universe is it rude to suggest that someone who thinks she has autism and accompanying sensory issues, which are causing her to find her 9 year old 'icky' and 'bloody irritating', should actually get a diagnosis and appropriate support?

Is it a bad thing that someone who suspects they have autism would get a formal diagnosis? People do that every day you know. There's nothing wrong with it, it's a sensible and helpful thing for many to do. Especially if it's affecting their relationships, above all with their children.

Should they all stop doing that for some reason? Or is it just that you object to anyone else suggesting it? The goal of course is that she would stop getting 'the ick' around her daughter, right? Because you do understand that's not pleasant for the child if she picks up on it, which she likely will? And it's obviously not a whole lot of fun for the OP either. Reality can be unpleasant. Ignoring it doesn't make it better.

Yes same here ! My DD is nearly 9

Constant singing, talking, humming, dancing, screeching, winding her brother up and 'mum, watch this....'

Just a happy go-lucky child but dear god my head is near exploding from sensory overload 😂

I love my children very much but yes, they were annoying as hell at that age.

One was permanently furious; one was endlessly weepy; one spent two years being aggrieved that the world didn't confirm to their demands.

Thank fuck it was just a phase. Don't worry, OP, it will get better.