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Original poster

Regret being older mum

506 replies

Oldermumhum · 05/10/2023 18:27

We started having kids quite late, first conceived at 31, born at 32, planning second DC at 34, probably would be born at 35. DP would be 40.
I really regret looking back that we kept worrying about money, buying house, career and delayed starting family so much. I want to have a third DC as well but we will be older 37, 42 by then.
Has anyone been in the same boat, how did you overcome regret?

OP posts:
MariaVT65 · 05/10/2023 18:33

What’s the reason for your regret?

I’m having my 2 at the same age as you - 32 with my first and now 35 with my second. We’re not planning a third but in an ideal world I would be younger, but we don’t regret it as we only met when I was 27. And we did want to buy a house first, just because we’d both had terrible experiences with private landlords and upkeep of properties. 35 has always been my absolute personal cut off for kids though.

Fleabane · 05/10/2023 18:33

Oldermumhum · 05/10/2023 18:32

We have stable jobs and decent Household incomes and some houses. But, I regret we kept chasing these things and feeling financially stable before we started family. We should have prioritised having a family over these things.

Why?

Sparehair · 05/10/2023 18:33

Oldermumhum · 05/10/2023 18:32

We have stable jobs and decent Household incomes and some houses. But, I regret we kept chasing these things and feeling financially stable before we started family. We should have prioritised having a family over these things.

Why?

Original poster
Oldermumhum · 05/10/2023 18:32

We have stable jobs and decent Household incomes and some houses. But, I regret we kept chasing these things and feeling financially stable before we started family. We should have prioritised having a family over these things.

OP posts:
ghostyslovesheets · 05/10/2023 18:31

Why regret what you can't change?

I could have got pregnant in my 20's to some feckless twatty ons but I'm glad I didn't!

I had mine at 32, 36 and 38 - sadly my ex husband was still a feckless twat but at least he was a well off one and I had a well paying job so I could buy a house and support them with the help of my divorce settlement and his maintenance payments.

They are 21,19 and 15 now and I don't feel I lost anything having them when I was older

Gowlett · 05/10/2023 18:30

I’m an older mum (older dad here too). I don’t regret it.
I feel like I’ve experienced both child-free & mum life.

But that’s how you feel. Is in relation to life being “sorted”?
We’re older, but no more richer, secure etc than we were.