Regret being older mum

Obviously no one can tell you how to feel, but I do find your reasoning a little odd or insubstantial. It’s extremely important to be very stable before having children as it’s difficult (it can be impossible) to gain that stability afterwards due to so many factors - less time, lower energy, higher outgoings.

The age you had your first is also completely average and unremarkable. Thirdly, I wouldn’t hedge your bets on wanting a third before you’ve even conceived your second - having a second can often be a game changer.

That sounds sensible

YABU to describe 31-35 as an older mum. Up to 35 is pretty normal IMO and you're only an older mum if you're 36+.

However, if your partner is already 40, I think he's getting too old, because sperm quality declines as well, so if you both want a third, I wouldn't hang around, and would get on with conceiving DC2 now.

FWIW, I was 31 & 34 (and DH 33 & 36) when our children were born, but I only ever wanted 2 and definitely don't want any more.

Your age seems about average for motherhood these days!
Not older at all.

Older Mum is having your first at 40, in my book.

And no one in my ante natal class was younger than about 37.

Which is a good thing.

Some houses? We have no houses. And it’s fine.

The average age of a first time mum in the UK in 2021 was 30.9 years.... calm down.

That seems perfectly sensible 🤷🏻‍♀️

This. I can't understand your post at all OP

But did it pay off so to speak, did it help secure your career?
Have you paid your house off and feel more financially secure.

At what age do you think would have been better ?

I do agree people can always put off having kids for any reason, but I think that tends to happen when deep down they are maybe not ready. I am so glad we waited, i just wouldn't be the mum I am now, I was still prioritising other things, it was the best time for us and we are a tad older than you.

Don't worry just for the sake of worrying, you'll only stress yourself out.

You're not an older mum. That is an average age to have children.

I had my three at 31, 34 and 37. I don't consider myself an older mother (and nor do my peers!) Think of the positives of establishing your careers and becoming financially stable. That's incredibly important!

I have never wanted kids. And I hope one day that I dont suddenly get the feeling because I'm 36 now and I just always felt that if I was going to have kids, I would have wanted it to be in my early to mid 20s!

I know lots of people have children much later and its perfect for them but I guess my feelings stem from my own upbringing from younger parents.

What is your worry op? Being more tired etc ?

I was 41 when mine was born. We had been trying for twenty years
So no I don't regret it.

You’re not an older mum. 31/34 are perfectly normal ages to ttc when you spend your 20s working up graduate jobs. I had my first just before 40. I’m 43 will be ttc my 2nd soon. I do things with DS my friends (who had kids younger) never did even with an autoimmune disease. I don’t think I’m any less of a parent just because I’m older. As for age - the women in my family tend to live active lives and then drop dead die in their mid 80s. I think if I look after myself I’ll reach 85 as a minimum.

Lol - where I live you would not be considered an older mum, lots of women have children at 35 plus. You can’t change it anyway - think of the stability you are giving your kids

I had my first at 35 and will be 37 with this one. No regrets at all.

I don’t see what advantages we would’ve had starting earlier but can see several disadvantages.

I’m 31 and haven’t even thought about when I might like kids (if ever!) - very few of my friends have.

I’d say 32 is quite young these days. Most of my friends started late 30 to early 40s, most have 2 if not 3 (in one case 4!) children. Do you feel old? Maybe increase your exercise, eat healthily etc. I feel so much better than I did in my early 30s (used to smoke and drink a lot!). I definitely don’t regret waiting until late 30s to start a family. I had so much fun, did loads I wouldn’t be able to do now with children. But, I guess I’ve been lucky and been pretty happy will all stages of my life.

Is there something else in your life that you are unhappy with that’s making you feel like this?

You’re really not that old! When I had DC2 I was nearly 40 and DH was 45.

I wouldn't consider you to be an older mum at all! I had all 3 of mine in my 40s....not planned that way but just how life works out as DH and I didn't meet until our late 30s. No regrets at all.

To many people 32 isn't an 'older' mother at all! Especially in cities like London where people focus on their careers and also active child-free social lives. I know many people who didn't have their first until 35. Many of them think it's a great way round to do it - plenty of time to travel and have child-free fun but still young enough to be energetic and focus when they have the kids.

I wouldn’t really class 31 as an older mum.