To feel desperately sorry for kids leaving state "care"?

We have to remember too that a lot of care leavers are damaged in some way, whether it's birth defects or learning difficulties due to their parents drug/drink problems, or trauma. My youngest is barely getting through school, she is unlikely to go to college and would find it very hard to keep a job, despite our best efforts her focus, time keeping and self care skills are not that of a 'normal' teenager. She can only be supported by the system for so long, most girls in her position end up teen mothers with abusive boyfriends, which is what happened to both of her older sisters. It's very sad.

I'm simply saying it's nothing new with the lack of support. There was no more support after I got the flat

Get off your high horse.

And there are council flats still going. I know of 3 people got one in the last year

Btw how the hell am I a baby boomer? That's my mums generation. I was born in the 70s

And what relevance does your experience in the 80s have for kids now?

We DO NOT have council houses. We DO NOT have adequate benefits that even pay the rent. The experience of baby boomers just is not relevant because we do not live in the same country any more no matter if it is geographically or temporally continuous. Your generation has made life more and more shit - and shot, as my keyboard first wrote - for those behind. Every single boomer posting the “sorry” tale of their experiences needs to understand that before coming out with their lessons.

Like @Caspianberg i wasn’t much better off than a care leaver and I don’t think I would try now, it was hard enough back then.

My dad was an adult mentor for kids leaving care.

He joint-authored a book about being in care with 2 of them, and was a witness in court for another when she had to sue her grandfather after he took all her parents money (they died in a car accident when she was about 16).

He was very involved in their lives, and met up with all of them many times for face to face conversations. He was in their lives for probably about 10 years.

Guess how many of them offered condolences when we reached out via email to let them know that he'd died unexpectedly?

None of them.

Make of that what you will. These were all adults in their late 20s, holding down professional graduate level jobs by this point.

As a family, we were quite upset by this. These people had been a huge part of my dads life for 10 years. He'd spoken of them often, and very fondly. And for his grieving widow to not even get a "sorry for your loss" was... difficult.

He went out of his way to support 3 very vulnerable young adults, just starting out on adult life, and was about to take on a fourth. But that apparently meant nothing to them.

E, E and S, if you're ever reading this. I'd love to know why.

My dd best friend was in care and transferred to a ymca when she was 16!. This was 20 years ago nearly. The place was awful. She was terrified. She was so vulnerable and confided in my dd, told her she had no choice but to return home to her abusive father. Better the devil you know she said. So she came to live with us. Her social worker did sort it so I could claim child benefit for her while she went to college but it was still a strain on us as a family. She stayed for two years then left for university. Came home to us for holidays but then settled in her university city when she was 20 with a bf.

We found our local ymca has a project called open doors. If you've got a spare room and think you can help guide and support a teen leaving care then there's a support package available through the ymca.

Our 8th teen left in the summer last year.

I don't think it's new. I was a care leaver back in late 80sand was given a council flat just before my 17th birthday. . However I was well able to sort my own cooking washing etc. surely this should be taught to all kids ,and even more so to those in care.

Social services did pay the rent for the first year which made me feel very well off and I was too young for poll tax. I was working full time in the day and doing my A levels at evening classes. So built is plenty of savings and learned to drive.

You don't need to continue to be a " victim" of circumstances.

Bought my first home when I was 20

There is a charity woollyhugs.org for which you can knit a hat and scarf set to be given to Care leavers at one of the Christmas parties organised in various locations across the UK> These parties were started by the poet Lem Sissay, who grew up in Care. Have a look at their website.

Often it's 16. It's utterly shocking. They are totally disadvantaged in every way , they have additional pressures academically so often fail then get set on a cycle of benefits, crime, etc.

It's a complete disgrace

I know 4 care leavers and it hasnt been like that for them ( 3 direct family members and 1 friend )

All 4 of them got social housing and support until they were 25. They get help with rent/council tax ect, sure it's up to the age of 25 too. My sister works with care leavers and she helps support them with staying in work, paying Bill's ect, cooking, keeping their places clean, budgetting,

It must depend on your area and maybe level of needes because the people I know have been looked after.

Maybe it's because she was fostered with great foster parents who showed her a different side to life and her eyes were opened and she wanted a slice of it for herself. Well done and good luck to her .

He went back Probably because he had loads of freedom to do as he wished at his mums with no boundaries. A lot of these kids are allowed to smoke and drink too . Also he probably felt great resentment towards social service's at being taken away from his mum as he loved her despite her bring a crap mum .

I've seen kids idolise inadequate parents and I've seen kids despise good parents .

You sound angry

Social Workers just don't give parents the support they need.... therefore REMOVAL THRESHOLDS ARE JUST TOO LOW and the Family Court Judges know this. Why do Judges allow CAFCA social workers collaboration with Local Authorities....it simply defeats Fair Justice.

What a disgrace the failed LAC system is. With a lawyer in 10 Downing Street the Local Authorities ' LAC system is likely to get worse. The ONS figures bear out the appalling outcomes for LAC children (almost as awful as Romania when the press wanted to do an expose on Romanian orphanages)

I know of one woman whose parents kicked her out at 14. Her and her brother.

Luckily she had her head screwed on right and now lives in silicone valley and is the most successful person I know.

Adverse situations can really inspire ambition

Not that it's the same for everyone, obviously

The Local Authority can be sued for failing to tell LAC children about THE LEAVING CARE ACT. May I suggest you get legal advice or you pursue advice from one of the Social Workers who is interested in Justice and Actually caring for children instead of those Social Workers protecting the broken Local Authorities' LAC system

Looked After Children have the right to sue Local Authorities for the failings in Individual care cases. If these cases come to light like the concealed Post Office affair then law praticioners like Sir Kier Starmer will have a lot to answer for.
I don't suppose these LAC seek redress as revenge for a failed system THEY PROBABLY WANT CARE NOW and ONGOING CARE

The Government and the Flawed Courts put the LAC kids in Care. They have a responsibility and a duty to integrate them into Society. 50% of 18-21 yros entering Criminal Justice are from Local Authorities. This is a HORRIBLE STATISTIC. Taking children from one harsh environment and preparing them for an even harsher environment IS NOTHING TO BE PROUD OF......

Statistics for Children leaving care is disgraceful (ONS)

Mrs Jimmy Perez
Perez you have made the mistake of believing that ALL parents are bad for their children (woke Social Services nonsense). Many LAC children go on to have meaningful and constructive relationships with their parents. You have not taken into account the many, many Miscarriages of British Jusice in His Majesty's Family Courts where children are wrongfully taken from their parents and the children suffer (not the Social Workers) - One only has to look at how the Post Office prosecutors manipulated expert witnesses to understand how expert Social Workers have become at manipulating scared parents in Family Courts. I am sorry for you Mrs Perez if you think that removal thresholds are high and that Social Workers are ALWAYS right.
And as a final point the results of ONS (national statistics) fundings for outcomes from Residential Units is deplorably poor compared to Foster Homes or Supported Families.

The bald statistics are grim.

Over 10,000 young people in England 'age out' of the care system every year on their 18th birthday.

Care leavers make up at least 25%* *of the homeless population, and rising rapidly - I've seen one estimate as high as 39% for one area.

Almost 25% of the adult prison population have previously been in care, and nearly 50% of under 21-year-olds in contact with the criminal justice system have spent time in care.

The few examples in the thread of good practice are going to get harder and harder to sustain as Local Authorities continue to be deprived of sufficient central government funding and the housing crisis worsens. Some really big councils like Hampshire County Council and Birmingham City Council are in serious trouble. Core statutory services are being stripped to the bone and only basic legal duties are being met (and often not even that for children with SEND).

I support a local charity service for people who are homeless & sofa surfing. But it's not enough. Just a sticking plaster.

Kids is the name of the channel 4 programme.
https://www.channel4.com/programmes/kids

there was a heart breaking programme on channel 4 recently with a half way house/children's home - eye opening.
we had a care leaver lodging with us when i was a teenager,
he eventually moved back to be near his mum, as did his sister. she still had a foster family but he was over 18.
i have no idea what he is up to now

There aren't enough foster carers
There aren't enough good foster carers
By the time kids get to leaving care they have so many issues but there are no mental health or substance misuse services
There is no onward housing available- care leavers used to be priority A but now in hostels with adults/families
I have been a leaving care SW and there are success stories but most of the time it's last chance saloon by the time they get to us (aged 16).

Most of the kids don’t even get to 18!

I’m a foster carer and before now I had a child aged 13 run away to his mum’s house. Social services decided he would keep doing it so they left him there. Mum had been declared unfit to parent and had a newborn removed just 6 months earlier but as he was a teenager they didn’t care.

I always wonder how he got on as I just know he was returning to a really bad situation.

Had many children at age 16 put in ‘supported living’ which is meaningless and doesn’t provide any support at all.

Other children have stayed longer than 18 as they have wanted to stay but social services then provided absolutely no support to foster carers who look after these children for longer. Even though they have a duty to them as care leavers they decide as they remain at the foster placement the carer can do all that and so you never see them. Plus it’s at your own expense as the allowance stops the day they turn 18.

These children are absolutely being failed!