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AIBU?

Share your dilemmas and get honest opinions from other Mumsnetters.

to find this man creepy on my walk?

140 replies

meggy96 · 28/09/2023 15:48

So I'm a 27 year old woman, dp and I moved recently from a city to a very rural hamlet. Opposite our house there is a large field which leads to a rather large, deep forest. Both of these nearly never have any other walkers, I've seen other dog walkers maybe three times since we moved here.

We have a young spaniel who I walk 95% of the time due to dp's working hours. When he and I walk the dog together, we walk through the field and then through the forest so I know the route and am familiar with the area. Neighbours mentioned that this forest does have some dodgy activity (dognapping in particular) so I've been hesitant to go in there on my own, dp has said this is a bit dramatic.

Today, I decide the dog needs a good long walk so I walk her across the field and then decide "be a big girl" ... I'll go into the forest. I'm about three minutes into the forest when up ahead of me, through the forest, I see a man walking towards me, on his own, no one with him and no dog. Highly unusual I think to myself. Then, I notice he stops walking, stays still and observes me, before turning around on himself and walking the way he'd came from (the direction I'm going) which is deeper into the forest. I immediately panicked, turned on my heel and ran with my dog back the way I'd come, through the forest and into the field, all the way home. I got home heart racing. Dp says it was probably nothing, probably it was -- but I just got a bad feeling. Aibu?

OP posts:
Azandme · 28/09/2023 16:01

Oh, and people walking about rural areas without a dog or other people is not at all unusual.

Many, many people like a good yomp about. It's why the right to roam is so staunchly defended.

Teddleshon · 28/09/2023 15:59

I always get anxious when I see a lone man on my dog walks who is walking somewhere isolated without a dog.

PinkDeer · 28/09/2023 15:58

I would have done the same as you too and turned back. I hate that as a woman walking alone I don’t feel safe if I see a man coming towards me. I worry when my daughter goes out walking alone too. On the other hand, my son and husband love to photograph wildlife and dress in camouflage stuff and go out early in remote places and don’t worry at all about who they may come across.

Azandme · 28/09/2023 15:58

Dotjones · 28/09/2023 15:54

My first thought was that he's some bloke out for a walk, realises he's about to encounter a lone woman and having had it drummed into him that lone women are more likely to be intimidated by bumping into a lone man in the woods decides the best thing is to get out of the situation.

Basically you're freaked out because he acted unnaturally, and he acted unnaturally because he was worried about freaking you out.

This.

Or he's incredibly shy and introverted and was worried the spaniel lady might try to talk to him!

A person wanting to harm another is unlikely to do a swift 180 and walk away at speed - it kinda defeats the purpose.

viques · 28/09/2023 15:58

I think you are perfectly reasonable to go home if you don’t feel comfortable.

I think you are very unreasonable to express your view that a man walking on his own in a country area, without a dog, is “ highly unusual” and up to no good. There is being reasonable, and there is being a tad paranoid.

Staggersaurus · 28/09/2023 15:57

You were already on high alert so meeting anyone would have probably creeped you out to some extent. Maybe you creeped him out which is why he turned back too? That is me talking rationally and hypothetically. If that was me walking in a deep dark forest I’d have legged it too!

EvilElsa · 28/09/2023 15:56

DrNo007 · 28/09/2023 15:52

I’d do the same. I hate it that we women find it scary to go for walks alone in nature but this is where we are at— well many of us at least.

Shit isn't it.
I got flashed by some dirty fucker on a public bridleway when I was riding my pony as a kid. Literally open mac flasher blocking my way. Scared the bejeezus out of me and I've never been 100% comfortable walking since, even though I love hiking and force myself to take routes that scare me a bit. It makes me angry that I feel scared!!!

Wheredidthebackboobscomefrom · 28/09/2023 15:55

I would and have done the same when I get the creeps about someone on my walks!

Dotjones · 28/09/2023 15:54

My first thought was that he's some bloke out for a walk, realises he's about to encounter a lone woman and having had it drummed into him that lone women are more likely to be intimidated by bumping into a lone man in the woods decides the best thing is to get out of the situation.

Basically you're freaked out because he acted unnaturally, and he acted unnaturally because he was worried about freaking you out.

SnapdragonToadflax · 28/09/2023 15:54

I would do the same. He might have walked away from you so you didn't feel threatened? But of course, he might not. If you felt unsafe, it's sensible to get yourself out of that situation.

I would say though, just because someone doesn't have a dog, doesn't mean it's weird they're walking somewhere. I often go for walks in our local wooded and fieldy area, and I don't have a dog. I just like being outside.

Jessforless · 28/09/2023 15:53

Maybe he turned the other way because he thought he might make you uncomfortable?

anyway, as a pp said, it made you uncomfortable so you did the right thing to leave. Can you walk in busier places when you’re on your own?

DrNo007 · 28/09/2023 15:52

I’d do the same. I hate it that we women find it scary to go for walks alone in nature but this is where we are at— well many of us at least.

DyslexicPoster · 28/09/2023 15:51

If a situation creeps you out there's no harm of getting out of that situation. I can't see on that basis who thinks ywbu.

It doesn't matter if he was a creep or not

WhateverMate · 28/09/2023 15:51

I mean you felt how you felt so it’s not a case of are you being unreasonable.

It could’ve been nothing or it could’ve been something.

EvilElsa · 28/09/2023 15:50

To be honest I'd do the same. I hike and have turned around/back or taken a different route a few times when I've come across someone behaving oddly or when I get a bad feeling about a situation.