to find this man creepy on my walk?

Hi,
I came across your message because of a similar situation myself.
The first time I encountered a man alone in the wooded area of the area by himself, it was out of the blue, I was off path on a bit of a beach area with my dog. I was walking back up to the normal path from the beach, and the man who was there was off path also coming out of the woods (also off path) he made me jump and I felt a surge of panic when we came across each other. It was the look on his face and I just felt immediate danger. Don't get me wrong, it was mid morning and where I was on the beach area was reasonably open, but there's never many people during the day at the reservoir.
I immediately turned round and went back on to the beach bit with my dog, and he stayed up there and walked back towards the main path of the woods.
I decided to wait 5-10 mins on the beach before continuing my walk. I made my way up to the path before the woodland and he was just stood randomly on the path, facing away from my direction, just standing and standing for ages. I had a bad feeling. I waited for someone to come, felt like a life time, eventually people did come and I followed behind them... he was gone.
Didn't see him again that time. But another time, I was on the beach bit (close to the same spot as last time) with my dog, I turned around and noticed the same guy sat on the bench overlooking the beach. He was on his phone and didn't do anything wrong etc. But I recognised him and he seemed to be watching me in the corner of his eye. Again I stayed on the beach, too scared to continue my walk into the woods for fear that he would follow. There was only the two of us.
At one point my dog took his ball up tot he woods in the opposite direction, I followed him as if we were going back the way we came and I noticed this man was paying attention. Still, I was too scared to leave the open part of land on the beach. I waited till a couple were passing and rushed with my dog to walk ahead of them. As I did and left the beach area, this man looked at me. The look was chilling, he looked annoyed.
I know I sound crazy, but I see so many lone walkers- male and female, with and without dogs and I've never had this chilling feeling before.
As the reservoir is a loop, I encountered once more towards the end of the 2nd walk. He was walking straight towards me, me walking straight towards him. This time, there was a couple on a bench by the side of the path eating sandwiches, we weren't on our own. Despite walking on the main path, both of us, he saw me this man and then changed course by walking into the trees and up a off-route path into some fields. Again, his movement and sudden change of course was weird and didn't seem planned.
I'm too scared to return to do this walk by myself with my dog - my dog is so friendly and I doubt he would know to protect me. I've never felt like this, and I just felt like something was off. I'm scared in myself to return alone and it's the worst because I love this walk and have no evidence that this man is someone to fear other than how I have felt in his presence on these 2 occasions (not far apart either). Should I try to override the fear and return or trust my gut instinct?

Precisely.

There’s a reason why we have fight or flight responses and you, quite rightly, listened to your instincts.

Neighbours have already warned you about the forest so tell your husband not to be so bloody dismissive and he wants to walk the dog instead he’s welcome to.

@beeswaxinc He is so huge that he gets actively quite anxious that he might make people feel scared or uncomfortable, bless him!

Going for a walk on your own, with no dog, is not “highly unusual”. That said it’s always sus when a man notices you/watches you in a situation like that. I ignored it a couple of times and on both occasions ended up being followed (though not harmed fortunately). Trust your gut and ignore nothing.

I know it sounds mean to say "assume" but that's not really what anyone who is reasonable is saying.

The point is that as a person unknown to the OP, he could be in the small number (doesn't always feel that small but I digress) of men who pose a risk to women through actually harming them. He could well have turned round because he literally didn't want to cross paths with OP, but so many of us have experiences of these weird encounters, it's completely not an issue for the OP to be wary, and being wary of a stranger is not the same as "assuming" that they are actually bad people, it's simply the pragmatic acknowledgement that they could be.

That is so sweet.

I used to walk home from work down a long isolated, tree lined path and I was always so appreciative of the men who clearly made efforts to make it obvious they were not following or trying to approach me.

Azandme · 28/09/2023 16:01

Oh, and people walking about rural areas without a dog or other people is not at all unusual.

Many, many people like a good yomp about. It's why the right to roam is so staunchly defended.”

This

My brother is 6’5, and an ex-rugby player. He’s built like a fridge. He’s lovely, and very gentle hearted but is well aware he’s an enormous, muscly guy so he always turns around or crosses the street if he sees a lone woman walking towards or in front of him.

YANBU for feeling how you feel but YABU for assuming and implying that a man going for a walk is some sort of pervert. The reason he turned around is very likely to be precisely because he didn't want to be in a position where you might be afraid or might want to accuse. (I told my DS to do exactly that or to cross over the road if he finds himself walking behind a woman at some point)

YANBU for not putting yourself in a vulnerable position. So it's a bit of both

Do you think it would do much? I suppose if you get it right in the eye.

I carry a mini can of Elnett if I’m going on a long walk.

Any time I am walking alone on a country road or a forest area, if I meet a man walking alone, I feel scared. In those situations , we as women are completely vulnerable.

Its sad but if I see a lone man in the distance, what I do now, is type in 999 into my phone and have it ready. So if he attacks me l, I can just hit the call button with one button . And hopefully they'll find my location.

You have to be so careful these days

I walk in rural areas and have for years. Generally super rural is fine. I can be on a remote mountain and totally relaxed. Busy areas usually fine as are early mornings. However I’m v cautious about wooded areas close to towns on summer evenings. Former railway lines make me v nervous as often steep sided and hard to see people coming at the sides

particularly when younger but still now, I size up men I see alone in quiet areas. If they don’t have a dog, or running shoes on, or a look of a hiker eg boots, or odd behaviour I’m quick to react. But that I mean a prompt decision to go another way, retreat, walk near someone else or whatever

in your case here, I would have done exactly what you did. Exactly. The man behaved strangely. Men, not for one minute, will not change a route to make a woman feel better. Not a chance. He did perhaps forget something or change his route promptly for a another reason but still, I would have removed myself

the only issue I have had was on a canal path on the edge of a city.

Men often dismiss women's fears. But the reality is the number of women who are attacked, raped or murdered is shockingly high.

We have to be cautious and on alert in a way men do not. You absolutely did the right thing

I once read men lock their doors to protect their possessions.
Women lock their doors to protect themselves.

All of this!

Cottaging means men having sex with men in public toilets. The poster most likely means either cruising (men going to public places like parks to meet strange men for public sex) or possibly dogging (couples who like watching/being watched having sex, so meet up in public areas to shag).

Why on earth do you think your DP knows better than you about these things?

I've said YANBU - if you feel weird then get out of there! But is it possible he had an off lead dog behind him and decided to turn back? I guess you would expect him to be looking behind him then though I suppose.

YANBU, always trust your instincts.

There’s a lovely canal walk near me, but it’s often deserted. I don’t walk it alone but have done so with others.

I hear you @meggy96 As many posters have said, trust your instincts. Women are never wrong. Ignore the 'poor menz' naysayers. They are obviously men.

I am experiencing something similar right now. I go for walks every day - 2-3 miles, and most of the time it's around my village. (It's around 1.5 miles square.) I walk through the village, around the village, in the woodlands, near the river, near the canal etc...

For this past 6 months, I keep seeing this man, I'd say 3 in 5 times I go out. I am middle aged and he is about 10 years older. It's becoming really fucking weird now, and too often to be a coincidence. I don't see ANYONE else this often on my walks. Some people I see once or twice a month walking around the village, if that.

It's mostly when I walk down the high street (through the village,) to the horsefields, rather than the opposite way into a little woodland and across a field to another little woodland. OR when I walk out of the village and go towards the river. So it's like he lives in the high street somewhere (or off one of the little 4 or 5 cul de sacs coming off the high street,) and he is spotting me, and grabbing his coat, putting his shoes on, and coming out.

Some days, after 5-10 minutes, I see him a about 300 yards behind me, and sometimes, I have been walking 10 minutes or so, and he appears at the bottom of the road that I am on (but he has gone round the other way in the hope of bumping into me.) He has spoken a number of times and kept me chatting in the lanes, and asked intrusive questions, and now I actively avoid speaking to him because he gets on my nerves.

But yeah, he gives me the collywobbles to be honest. Some may call me paranoid, but as I say (and loads others have) it's an instinct. I see other men on my walks too, some quite often (not as often as him!) and I feel nothing. They just smile, and say 'hello, nice weather for the time of year lalalalala...' I just say hello back and chat for a minute sometimes, and don't feel threatened or bothered. But THIS man creeps me out. I can't articulate it very well, and I don't know why, but he does.

Yesterday I went for a walk around the village, and had been out around 15-18 minutes. I was coming back home up the high street, and he just popped out of a cul de sac road opposite to me. I saw him out of the corner of my eye, knew it was him, and didn't make eye contact. I just got my phone out of my pocket, and pretended to phone someone.

Still on the opposite side of the road, he started walking ahead of me. I went into into the bus stop, and kind of hid away, and came back out 2-3 minutes later, and he had stopped walking and was looking back! So I kept on 'chatting' on the phone, and carried on walking. I stopped again after 100 yards or so, and looked back towards where I had come from and pretended to take a photo. I looked back a minute later - and he had stopped again, and was looking down the road at me!

No-one is going to tell me this is a coincidence. It's weird. HE is weird. He is freaking me out. And I don't like it. As I said, I don't feel like this about any other man, just him. Like a few people have said @meggy96 trust your instincts. If someone gives you the heebee jeebies - there is probably a good reason for it.

I have no idea why this man keeps appearing some 3 in 5 times I go for a walk around my village, why he walks the same way as me, (and trying to accidentally bump into me,) and why he keeps stopping when I stop. But it is grating on me now. Maybe he is just lonely and wants to chat to me. (I have never seen him with anyone else, ever.) Well I don't want to chat to him, so he can fuck off.

So a few months ago there was a thread about a strange man having the audacity to walk in a forest and so many people said he should have turned around and gone away from you to prove his lack of evil intent

Or perhaps he doesn't like dogs

Thank you!!

Neither. Do what you like OP but quit pretending there was anything objective about your interpretation of a complete stranger's actions.

I'd have been spooked too so don't think YABU....what is on the other side of the deep forest?.....