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AIBU?

Share your dilemmas and get honest opinions from other Mumsnetters.

To not sign friends petition about school fees ?

257 replies

Whereforartthoudave · 26/09/2023 09:12

Or more to the point tell her why I’m not?

friend grp - 3 families out of 9 send their kids to private school. One dad has decided to start a petition re Private schools losing their charity status - as in it’s not fair if they do. His DW has sent it round this morning.

Stupidly rather than just ignore it - when she said will you sign, I said, sorry no - Private schools are businesses not charities so I agree with the proposed change.

Now she wants to know WHY exactly.

YANBU - ignore it and don’t get into a bun fight over private versus state school. I’m not judging their choices but I don’t think the schools should have tax breaks.

YABU - tell her why. The why being I don’t agree with private schools at all, but her money her choice. And think it’s laughable that they have charity status when the majority ( and this is backed up by actual stats) do virtually nothing to earn it.

OP posts:
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Alphabet1spaghetti2 · 26/09/2023 09:20

Yanbu. But I would simply refuse to discuss it, if the friendship was important to me. I think that this is one of those topics which is a ‘agree to disagree’ and never discuss it again thing which can permanently break any relationship/friendship if discussed.

Notagains · 26/09/2023 09:19

I agree with you. I wouldn't sign such a petition either.
As to whether you tell her exactly why. Tell her you have already told her husband why you disagree.
If you wants you go into further detail you can, but I don't think she really wants you to she just wants to challenge you

Yahyahs22 · 26/09/2023 09:18

BernadetteRostankowskiWolowitz · 26/09/2023 09:15

I'd just say "I'm not getting into this with you. You chose private school, I chose state. Neither of us owe the other any justification. I'm not signing the petition because I don't have the same opinion on this as you. I suspect you don't want to know what I actually think - possibly you just want to argue against each point I would make. I'm not the source of your frustration here, so channel all that into your petition, good luck"

This is the perfect reply

Conkersinautumn · 26/09/2023 09:15

You've already explained. Private schools are not charities as in providing an education to those in need or for the improvement of anyone anymore. They're businesses

BernadetteRostankowskiWolowitz · 26/09/2023 09:15

I'd just say "I'm not getting into this with you. You chose private school, I chose state. Neither of us owe the other any justification. I'm not signing the petition because I don't have the same opinion on this as you. I suspect you don't want to know what I actually think - possibly you just want to argue against each point I would make. I'm not the source of your frustration here, so channel all that into your petition, good luck"

NnarcissaMalfoy · 26/09/2023 09:15

I think it's really crass of the wife to send it to friends with kids at state schools! Can't imagine why this couple thinks you'd care about the petition. Speak your mind politely if you like- you've been asked why so it's fine to say.

Octonaut4Life · 26/09/2023 09:14

I'm with you OP and I think you should share your opinion considering she's asked for it.