To say they can’t visit with their dog?

I'm a dog lover and have 3 myself, but it's your house so your rules. If you don't want a puppy in the house, then you're quite within your rights to say no.

But, any decision you make will have consequences, such as your DP not visiting (I'd not want to put a puppy in kennels so early), and your dc might enjoy spending time with a puppy.

There are ways around this, but it's your choice not to compromise.

They need to put the puppy in a kennel or have someone look after it while they are away.

Even if the cat doesn't see the dog, as pp says, the smell of him being there is enough to cause stress cystitis in cats. You could end up with your cat urinating all over the house. I would never have a dog in my cat only house for this reason.

It's your house and your rules so ynbu to say no to the dog. You don't need to use the cat as an excuse.

We got a puppy last year and everything has changed. I visit my kids less but they come here instead

I think it’s a shame if this stops your parents visiting. An overnight I. A room with a litter tray is v unlikely to harm the cat permanently.

Personally I’d try and make it work. Can they visit and stay in a dog friendly hotel? And then you meet them outside of the home or if you meet them in your home then just put the cat upstairs for a short while?

Our cat isn’t nervous but is very intolerant of dogs. He twats visiting dogs so they know their place.

YANBU, I wouldn't let someone bring a dog to stay in my home either. I wouldn't like it and my toddler would hate it.

That’s a misconception. Dogs are perfectly capable of living alongside cats and other animals, my guinea pigs can be out (supervised) with my dog.

I’d never trust a cat to not kill those pets.

It is unfair to fixate on the dog. Don’t use the cat as an excuse when you say it’s stressed by visitors anyway.

well if they are asking to stay the night that is fair enough, they can get a dog sitter

Cat comes first obviously

I wouldn't want a dog stinking my house out either

Cats are territorial and the smell could actually stress her cat out and cause cystitis

This. Even if the cat is upstairs it's still obviously aware of the dog and is under stress for the duration. It's really unfair to bring a dog into a cat's living space.

Why not give it a go?

Cats have an amazing ability to take themselves away from situations they don’t like. I’d be more worried for the puppy to be honest as cats don’t take any shit from anyone.

Our in-laws we’re very worried when we got a puppy and the first visit to their place was a bit tense, but now they’re more excited about seeing the dog than us

Cats are territorial and the smell could actually stress her cat out and cause cystitis.

Doors are wonderful things, if you “shut” one, you can have a dog on one side and a cat on the other and they can’t see each other.

If the issue is a cat, who hides out the way any time there's visitors, then I'd say they're fine to bring the puppy. Presumably you don't ban visitors because the cat doesn't like visitors. It isn't difficult to have separate spaces for the cat and the puppy, and it's a 4 hour drive for them.

If you simply don't want a dog in your house at all that's your call though as it's your house. Just tell them that and don't use the cat as an excuse.

Actually, the car was a bad suggestion. I was thinking that the visit to your house would just be for a short period, but if they are travellin g four hours each way it will likely be too long a visit to be reasonably divided between walks and car.

When my dad used to visit with his three (!!) dogs, our own dog at the time was very grumpy and reactive, so he couldn't bring his dogs in (I probs wouldn't have had them in anyway -- three grubby poorly trained dogs felt a bit much). Our solution was to introduce my dad to the local boarding kennel. The dogs stayed there and we picked them up to go for walks.

Just say no, I don't want people visiting me with a dog .. if it means we don't get to see them .. so be it. I have relatives who have pets ... I make the conscious choice not to stay with them, if I want to see them I stay in a B & B.

Having a cat who is nervous of dogs due to early trauma I would not let a dog into her home. Could your parents rent a dog friendly cottage for the weekend and you can fill the weekend with walks and dog friendly pubs?

I’d say it would be fair to at least give it a go. Do your dc like the new puppy? I know mine would have loved that! If your dcat opts for upstairs under a bed this is easily accommodated for a few hours. If puppy won’t settle and barks and scrabbles to get to cat it’s obviously a no-go but it’s at least worth trying. These are your parents and dcs’ grandparents after all!
If it fails, there’s your answer but at least you’ve tried. My ddog is not able to visit my sister’s house. Though she lives in countryside and has a ddog herself she also has two cats and my dog went blimming mental when we did give it a go. Nobody got any peace and that’s no good for all concerned including her cats. At least we gave it a go though and I totally understand why he’s not welcome there! It’s a pain but heyho.

yanbu

it's ok not to want a dog in your house.

is there a compromise to be had with the dog staying outside in a secure area?

It's fine to say no.

We have a nervous dog, she's fine outside the house but absolutely hates any other dogs being inside her home.

So everyone knows unfortunately we can't have their dogs to visit.

You're not obliged to have people's pets in your house. There are pleasant ways to say it though.

I think it is fine to say no. No one should have any kind of expectation that they can bring their dog into another's house. I would actually refuse any kind offer to bring my dog into somoeone's house unless they were making the offer because they genuinely, genuinely were happy with it.

Just a little aside, if there is any way you could manage the situation with the cat (eg keeping one or both animals confined to a single room), would you consider it worth exploring, just for the fun that the puppy might give the children, and the benefits it will have for future family visits (to the parents or to other destinations)?

Since it is getting to be cooler weather how, perhaps the pup could be based in the car (if it is in a secure location) and the visit could be interspersed wit little walks or garden play?