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AIBU?

Share your dilemmas and get honest opinions from other Mumsnetters.

Son has stolen cash from me again

211 replies

Spopssas · 23/09/2023 20:59

When he was around 11 he spent nearly £400 on mydebit card. Lied about it consistently before the evidence became irrefutable. The fallout was huge.

He is now nearly sixteen and I've just discovered he's stolen nearly £200 in cash from my safe. He must have hunted hard for the key. I confiscated his controller and headphones - he just got them out of the car when I was at work this morning.

I'm gutted and confronted him tonight, calling him a thief and a blatant liar. Which he is. He has shown no remorse.

He called me a fat cunt and has locked himself in his bedroom.

I just want him out tbh.

OP posts:
Azandme · 23/09/2023 21:15

Definitely sell the XBox.

And tell him he's already had his birthday present - he nicked it.

Pottomous2 · 23/09/2023 21:15

sell The Xbox ….?

Spopssas · 23/09/2023 21:14

He doesn't have anywhere to go no. Nor do I. He is 16 in 8 weeks and expecting an expensive PC and a skydive for his birthday. I am nearly 60 and just want him to get in touch with his father and go and live with him.

OP posts:
cooldarkroom · 23/09/2023 21:13

Sell Xbox

Spopssas · 23/09/2023 21:12

He's addicted to his xbox. He gets hysterical almost when he loses access.

OP posts:
oksothisisusnow · 23/09/2023 21:11

This was my sister as a teen. She stole everything that wasn't nailed down.

I'm so sorry. Also I think its disgusting that he's called you a fat cunt when confronted.

Does he have elsewhere to go?

Spopssas · 23/09/2023 21:10

Lone parent. Father left when he was a baby. No family around. He has a godmother - my best friend - he's in local groups and is good at school. He's just a thief and has no empathy. Gutting. His father was very disordered - NPD probably. It can be inherited. I have no idea how to make him see there has to be a consequence for stealing so much cash from me. He's spent it on sweets, gum, no idea what else. The fact that he lies very convincingly to my face is just horrible. Calling me a fat cunt - well, he has been caught out and hates me.
He made a huge scene about being bullied at school last night. To take the heat off the fact that I'm so angry he's stolen from me and so would feel sorry for him again?He's not stupid. Maybe I am. And no, he has never bothered to do jobs or earn pocket money..if he wants something he takes it. The end. Very sad but I have had enough.

OP posts:
SmurfetteBlue · 23/09/2023 21:07

I'd be selling the gaming device he uses with the confiscated controller to make the £200 back and make him learn his lesson the hard way!

Galectable · 23/09/2023 21:06

What a distressing situation. Try to rescue him... or abandon him? Such a difficult choice for a mother. If you give up on him now you may regret it later. Can you take him away for a week where there's no internet, and try to reconnect? Okay that sounds like a fantasy but in your shoes that's what I'd be looking to do. Also talk to experts, find out what may be behind his behaviour. Good luck!

Isseywith3witchycats · 23/09/2023 21:02

My youngest son went through a phase of this i carried my purse round with me key to the safe on your person, when i went to bed purse went under my pillow in your case key in purse, and i made my son pay me back every penny he had taken not as much as your son but he has to realise actions have concequences , i know it sounds harsh but maybe getting a policeman round to have a word with him may help

Moredrobe · 23/09/2023 21:01

What’s the background? Where is his father? Any stepfather figures? What does he spend on?