Son has stolen cash from me again

You say he is in cadets. Would he consider joining the army?

bide your time until November then throw him out.

Oh, and going against the grain here but I wouldn't bother stressing about school. Focus on his personal/mental health issues and your relationship. If he fails, so what. There are options to get his basic maths and english down the line or apprenticeships etc failing gcse's won't be the end of his professional development, maybe the start. But an emotionally healthy son is going to thrive better in the adult world than one who just managed to scrape through but has a ton of mental health issues so can't even cope with the actual responsibility of adulthood

Would the gym help? If he has low self esteem then this could help improve his physical and mental health. It could lead to him wanting to socialise/date as he feels more confident etc. How about a membership and a couple of lessons with a PT to help establish a routine. You could also support this with some kitchen appliances to help with cooking easy healthy meals, like an air fryer/rice cooker etc if you don't already have them. He needs to get out and about more and start to create the life he wants to lead. I would definitely cancel any bday presents as he really needs to face the consequences. He doesn't need a new pc if the one he currently has is fit for purpose albeit old. If it's not then he can use the library/school computer. Then sort out the gym as a Christmas gift for a fresh start in the new year

But it is kicking him out, no matter how you want to frame it. I'm honestly really shocked at how brutal the responses are here towards your son.

This behaviour doesn't come from nowhere, you have a responsibility to help him, you're his mum & he's 15 - not even an adult. Yes, his attitude is horrible, yes calling you a fat cunt is revolting. But you need to help fix this - just shoving him out in the world at 16 is not the answer & is going to end badly for everyone involved. Including any future partner!

This is a teenager found with his head in his hands on a bench! That's despair! That's probably 'what the Fuck am I doing?' but having no idea how to stop & no one to turn to & not even his own mum seems to give a shit

Op be aware ime he is depressed. Again ime teen boys need their dm very much... Can you get him away from the house and his gaming? He has such low value of himself he has dropped to stealing... If you turn your back in him you will have more worries mixed with regret and guilt. And it will be very difficult to turn back the clock and fix things. Would he see a Dr?

Well it's all more typical teen behaviour than robbing of your mum isn't it

Sorry you are going through this op.
I would change the wifi password.
And sell his xbox to replace (some of) the funds he has stolen from you.
If he reacts with violence........... call the police.

Hes bullying you and manipulating you. I know its hard but honestly the best thing is to stand up to him, put mega boundaries in place. xxx

@Spopssas but that's not dealing with the problem is it? What's the point in getting him a PC and then kicking him out at sixteen? He will still be In year 11 it's laughable. Before or after his GCSE's? Who is putting up a 16 year old? He has no tools for looking after himself. Social services won't support that. There are numerous threads on here where adults are brutalised by their kids and they won't step in. And you want to kick him out at 16.

I have had issues with all my boys. My eldest was diagnosed with severe mental health problems from 12 onwards and attacked me with a knife. I didn't give up on him or keep throwing money at the problem (it wouldn't have helped in all fairness)

All good suggestions you have knocked back because of how hard it will make life for you. Yes it's hard. Your his only parent. You need to fix this.

I would foster him out.

If he has laid hands on you then that is a different issue.
But you still need to deal with it. You are In an abusive relationship with your own child.

@Spopssas why does he need a 'really decent pc'? He has nicked from you and not opportunist theft but gone out of his way to do it. Not bothered with his mocks and you are contemplating giving him more?
I am not being mean but you come across as lazy and non avoidant. He has stolen from you and you need to make some tough choices. Why can't you go without wifi for a couple of days to take a stand? I would be furious!
He thinks you are a pushover and I can see why.

It sounds like you need to get SS involved again and I'd honestly be inclined to report him to the police.

You sound pretty petrified of him, which is no way live.

It also sounds like he needs counselling or therapy.

I'd be also speaking with head of welfare at school. If he's a good kid in school, then they'll want him to be focusing on exams etc.

The x box and other consoles can be evil social skill stealers and turn kids into aggressive human beings.

Do not treat him for his birthday, you're feeding his abusive behaviour.

Sending you strength and big hugs ❤️ xx

Sell the XBox, change the combination of the safe, and put the key where he cannot find it.

For the internet, get the WiFi blocker app, you can then switch off his devices and keep yours connected. Just make sure he doesn't know your passwords.....!

OP your situation sounds incredibly stressful but I have to go against the grain & say your son sounds lost - the 'head in his hands on a bench'. It doesn't make dealing with him any less upsetting (possibly frightening but I'm not sure if you were being serious). Stealing that amount of cash & spending it on sweets & snacks? That's just bizarre for a 15yo.

He is your son, though, your son. And he sounds like he needs help, like a personal support worker who he sees alone & regularly. If you kick him out things will only get worse for him, though sure he'd be out of your hair.

I wouldn't remove his xbox permanently, it feels counterintuitive but that's his communication with the world. Taking it away permanently will just increase his isolation. Though I would look at what he's watching on YouTube, reading on reddit etc, who has following on social media in general.

It's very very easy for teen boys to become a statistic for the very worst outcomes for mental health. Something is wrong with your boy & it sounds like he needs real help. Please don't give up on him

OP, I get it. My DS did the same, I ended up having him removed by the police when he was 19 when he bashed my door in. I was always a bit scared of what we would do if I went nuclear (like selling the x box) so to all those out there advising that, it's not that simple. He always has to go one higher so if I got rid of the x box then I would fully expect him to trash my work laptop and so on.

This went on for years and overall it didn't get much better. His dad would tell him his behaviour wasn't a big deal while simultaneously telling him I'm a bitch, so no help there.

SS, CAMHS and the police involved at various times. I did an NVR course which was somewhat useful, so could recommend that.

Not much advice to give, honestly if there was something that could fix it, I would have done it. The gaslighting was the worst, that horrible feeling of wondering whether I was wrong and had spent that tenner in my purse myself. I always had to take my handbag and the WiFi router up to bed with me, even then he'd try to sneak into my room to get them.

Even though he's gone now (to live with the aforementioned father, even though neither of them wanted that) and hates me, I have peace and it's still a wonderful feeling being able to leave my bag in the kitchen at night.

He has a laptop, he doesn't need a PC.
If you don't want to sell the Xbox at least take his controllers to work with you for a few days until he gives you back the money.

Change the Wi-Fi password so you can still use it but he can't connect to it.