To think that my boyfriend is being really muggy?

He could have explained. Even said, 'my dad has some problems I can't talk about but it is really important I'm with him' if his Dad's problem was really private. He didn't. Basically, he lied. So this is on him.

Dump him. That's a shitty way for him to treat you.

You're not being unreasonable.

However, a couple of other people have said there's a possibility he has some family stuff going on, so if you think that is a possibility and wanted to give him the benefit of the doubt you could say something that makes it clear:

• that you're unhappy
• why you're unhappy - it's not because you're some spoiled princess wanting a weekend away, it's that it's deeply disrespectful to expect you to change your plans at the drop of a hat without as much as an explanation why
• That the only reason you're not ending things right now is in case the root cause is some family stuff going on which he's not yet ready to tell you
• That if it turns out he was just an inconsiderate so-and-so, or if there's a repeat, you will be ending it - so if that is the case he may as well save himself and you the hassle and walk away now

Fuck him. Do something and enjoy your child free weekend.

Why did the byfriend lie? That's the million dollar question. Personally I don't think liars are ever worth the trouble. Like cowardice, lying leads to every other vice.

Life’s too short to put up with bollocks like this.

Some men are especially vindictive, and like to destroy women’s confidence to keep them under control. This build you up/ shoot you down cycle will probably continue until you’ve lost all self worth.

Do something for you this weekend, and be unavailable if he calls.

It's the lies that would make me feel he was not worth bothering with.

Ugh, no. I don't usually agree with a lot of the automatic 'LTB' for any transgression you often hear on here, but to me this demonstrates at a fundamental level just how little care and respect he has for you. I would really struggle to get past this (possible exceptions are if he's mid breakdown/mental health crisis or something that is affecting his judgement...)

First of all, no, not really. Second of all, if it did, it did not need to happen during this trip he had arranged to go on with somebody else, they are adults and can wait. Thirdly, they live together, they have loads of time to talk to one another.

Mena nd women can both plead I had no agency. Men and women are both abused in many ways. Both can be abusers. I am not going to look at any woman who says she has been victimized and say red flag - liar, you are probably the abuser if you are blaming your ex. Nor would I do the same with any man. Men and women both have agency and responsibility and both can be victimized by partners.

@DeepDishCookie78
Is it possible that whatever was/is going on in his life is something that he wants to possibly work through or discuss with his dad?

Surely as a parent you have experienced the need to make changes in planned activities because of something related to your child or some other unexpected situation.

You now have a totally free weekend. Use it to do something that you would enjoy but rarely get to do. Not many relationships work well without the partners having dome level of flexibility.

In my experience, when these women are then single, and struggling financially, they still blame themselves for being so stupid - even in a situation where they were massively financially abused, usually because of having children.. The "oh, I had no agency" argument is almost ALWATS a red flag

If this was the case he would surely have explained. I think he's just no longer interested, sorry.

(I know you didn't mention moving this bloke in to your kids home, but the fact that you have your own home, this man does not and is a failure with money is screaming cocklodger potential)

A disinterested boyfriend who keeps ditching you for his mates is not helping your anxiety and you're embarrassing yourself by accepting being treated as disposable. Just focus on your kid, and never move a bloke in to your home and risk losing half of it to a future boyfriend.

@DeepDishCookie78 in your shoes I wouldn't waste the weekend. take yourself off somewhere by yourself. treat yourself to a nice massage, fancy dinner... maybe a trip to the cinema. not sure your BF is a keeper tbh.

@AliOlis I said that originally because almost straight away it was all "bastard, waste of space, how DARE he, blah blah blah" before we had any more information about the situation.
It now sounds like he isn't great boyfriend material.

He’s trying to break up with you.

It might be a fair guess that, given what you’ve shared here, he is aware of your emotional dependence on him and can’t bring himself to actually do it.

There are limitless threads on here of women blaming their husbands for their poor financial states and many other things that are wrong in their lives. I think it is less a red flag and more that relationships are complicated and most people feel hurt or victimized in some way when a relationship ends. In some cases, the man or woman has been victimized and it isn't a red flag at all.

You really don't need him. YOU'VE made the progress in managing your anxiety. You've pushed yourself out of your comfort zone. The achievements are yours, not his.

He's treating you very badly, this first year is the honeymoon period, it's the best time. If this is as good as it gets, do you really want to stick around for more?

Think how much better your anxiety will be when you're not constantly worrying whether you're going to be let down or not. Or trying to guess what's going on.

I think you know this. And I think you already know life without this unpredictable man child would be better

Dump him. Do some work on yourself with therapy or there are some great self help books (maybe wise posters can recommend) to help you unpick why you're choosing to stay with someone who gives you anxiety and ensures you are not his priority.

Over time I'm afraid he will increase your anxiety with his unreliability and attitude, which as he knows you've been struggling with anxiety is really cruel, and possibly manipulative. Plus add in a horrible feeling of dependence on him.

What else helps your anxiety, OP? Can we help you make a plan to get through the next few weeks?

I would have used the time it took to write this post to write the text telling him to do one.

Nothing about this man is appealing. You deserve better.

No, it's just not on. He knows you went to the effort of arranging childcare and a petsitter.
Forget about the dad thing - initially he said he wanted to go alone. So either he did want to go alone and later asked his dad to go with him or he had decided to go with dad and just lie to you about it.
Basically, he decided he didn't want to go with you. So that tells you all you need to know.
What man gives up the chance of a weekend away with their girlfriend to either go away alone or with their dad?
If there's something more serious going on - such as the dad has been diagnosed with something horrible and this is a last weekend away before treatment begins then he should have said.

I'd be rethinking the relationship.

For me, it's the cancelling you first and wanting to go alone. Taking his dad is neither here nor there really. Honestly, get rid.