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AIBU?

Share your dilemmas and get honest opinions from other Mumsnetters.

Original poster

To think that my boyfriend is being really muggy?

290 replies

DeepDishCookie78 · 22/09/2023 10:23

I have been with my boyfriend about a year now. We live about 1 hour 45 minutes away from each other. I have one child and he has none. I have my own home whereas he has had to move back home for a while because his ex got him into some financial difficulties (he is 28 years old and I am 27).

He had booked a surprise weekend for us that was meant to be today until Sunday. It was obviously a surprise when he booked it but he had to give me a few weeks notice to arrange the childcare and for the pets to be looked after.

He has had a really stressful last couple of weeks so said that he wanted to go alone. I was disappointed as it had been booked weeks in advance, I had gone to the trouble to arrange the childcare and for the animals and we don’t get to see each other on our own for quality time very much.

Fast forward to today and he is now taking his dad with him (the trip is to watch a sports game as I have wanted to watch one live for ages). He is definitely going with his dad as I could hear them speaking in the background when he rang.

AIBU to feel really pissed off and mugged off about this? He knows that I still have the childcare and everything arranged (my child still wanted to go and stay with relatives so I kept the plan the same for that) and instead of taking the opportunity to spend quality time with me, he has now suddenly decided that he doesn’t want to go alone but has chosen his dad instead?

OP posts:
Sunshinenrain · 23/09/2023 20:16

Well done you OP!!
He has treated you terribly and you deserve so much better!

It can be very difficult to move on from something you’re so used to.
So my advice is to delete every contact you have for him (his number, old texts and phone log etc) as then you won’t risk having a weak moment, texting him and then regretting it straight after.

You can always come on here and reread the posts or ask us to talk you out of contacting him.

Get on the dating sites and go out with your friends too.
The busier you are and the more other guys draw your attention away, the less you’ll think of him.

Olika · 23/09/2023 20:14

DeepDishCookie78 · 23/09/2023 19:51

So, I got home from a lovely day out and he rang me twice trying to justify himself… told him to stick it where the sun doesn’t shine and I’m not changing my mind and I’m moving on - feeling very proud of myself right now as before I would have given in! 💐

👏 good job!

Zerosleep · 23/09/2023 20:00

What a selfish fucker, I would get rid as it won’t get any better.

Pepsi2001 · 23/09/2023 19:59

He needs binned!!

Justkeepingplatesspinning · 23/09/2023 19:56

Well done on not caving into his pleas etc. Now that he's unblocked you, you can block him. On everything possible.
You're way better off without him. I hope you didn't end up out of pocket with child care and pet sitting etc. Yes he was helpful with your anxiety and good with your child, but he didn't think highly enough of you to honour the weekend away that he'd promised you. Even though he knew it was costing you money to make happen.
Leave him back in the pond and find a fish who really values you.

Original poster
DeepDishCookie78 · 23/09/2023 19:51

So, I got home from a lovely day out and he rang me twice trying to justify himself… told him to stick it where the sun doesn’t shine and I’m not changing my mind and I’m moving on - feeling very proud of myself right now as before I would have given in! 💐

OP posts:
VitoCorleoneOfMNMafia · 23/09/2023 19:51

This worries me:

Well he ended up randomly blocking me anyway

I would wager money on there being another woman involved. Get an STI test.

VitoCorleoneOfMNMafia · 23/09/2023 19:47

DeepDishCookie78 · 22/09/2023 11:10

@Needmorelego he used to do it a lot in the beginning (first 3-4 months), always cancelling plans to spend time with friends and family instead, then he got better and now it looks like it’s going back to how it used to be again 🤷‍♀️

OMG why did you put up with this at the beginning? That's when you'd expect him to be on his best behaviour, yet he was still so disrespectful.

LTB.

ETA: I see that you already did.

jrc1071 · 23/09/2023 19:38

This.

Ilovecleaning · 23/09/2023 19:32

RampantIvy · 23/09/2023 19:30

On a long thread I click on "see all" on the OP's first post to check the updates.

Show quote history

Good advice 😍. Thanks.

RampantIvy · 23/09/2023 19:30

Ilovecleaning · 23/09/2023 19:24

Thanks. 😊. Sometimes I am too lazy to read the whole thread! Glad she’s done it. 🥰. good luck to you, OP. 🌺

Show quote history

On a long thread I click on "see all" on the OP's first post to check the updates.

Ilovecleaning · 23/09/2023 19:24

RampantIvy · 23/09/2023 19:22

She already has @Ilovecleaning

Thanks. 😊. Sometimes I am too lazy to read the whole thread! Glad she’s done it. 🥰. good luck to you, OP. 🌺

LubyLooTwo · 23/09/2023 19:22

I think he has baggage.

RampantIvy · 23/09/2023 19:22

She already has @Ilovecleaning

Ilovecleaning · 23/09/2023 19:20

Fuck him off.

Peachee · 23/09/2023 19:11

I would be fuming and wouldn’t stand for it

RampantIvy · 23/09/2023 18:58

And posters are still not reading the OP's udates.

Just how hard is it?

CherryCokeFanatic · 23/09/2023 18:40

YANBU That is well muggy and I’d be pranging hard if I were you. He has proper snaked you and mugged you right off. He better get grafting to make it up to you.

PoisonCookie · 23/09/2023 18:31

Um.. just here to say my ex fiancé blamed his first ex fiancée for all his debt and bankruptcy.. once I moved in with him I learned the hard way it was all his doing because he did to me what he did to her. Now he's got 2 ex fiancée's that "put him in debt".
Talk to him seriously about it because if my partner planned something for us then ditched me last minute to take his dad I'd be very hurt and confused!

OrdinaryGirl · 23/09/2023 18:30

So sorry, OP, this hapless manchild is just not that into you.
My recommendation: Thank u next!

RampantIvy · 23/09/2023 18:12

@Mumof3confused read the OP's updates.

Mumof3confused · 23/09/2023 18:08

He has been really stressed and then uses this as an excuse not to be with you? Says he wants to go alone and takes dad instead.

  1. he let you down
  2. he lied to you
  3. he treats you like a doormat and expects you to be ok with it

It’s a no from me.

AllHopeandRainbows · 23/09/2023 18:01

You’re well rid x

AllHopeandRainbows · 23/09/2023 18:00

Well he sounds like a right keeper…not 😏
And as for the whole “my ex got me into financial difficulty” 🙄🤨

LTB

RampantIvy · 23/09/2023 17:53

Well, it's obvious that a few posters haven't read the OP's updates.

Onwards and upeards @DeepDishCookie78