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AIBU?

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Original poster

To think that my boyfriend is being really muggy?

290 replies

DeepDishCookie78 · 22/09/2023 10:23

I have been with my boyfriend about a year now. We live about 1 hour 45 minutes away from each other. I have one child and he has none. I have my own home whereas he has had to move back home for a while because his ex got him into some financial difficulties (he is 28 years old and I am 27).

He had booked a surprise weekend for us that was meant to be today until Sunday. It was obviously a surprise when he booked it but he had to give me a few weeks notice to arrange the childcare and for the pets to be looked after.

He has had a really stressful last couple of weeks so said that he wanted to go alone. I was disappointed as it had been booked weeks in advance, I had gone to the trouble to arrange the childcare and for the animals and we don’t get to see each other on our own for quality time very much.

Fast forward to today and he is now taking his dad with him (the trip is to watch a sports game as I have wanted to watch one live for ages). He is definitely going with his dad as I could hear them speaking in the background when he rang.

AIBU to feel really pissed off and mugged off about this? He knows that I still have the childcare and everything arranged (my child still wanted to go and stay with relatives so I kept the plan the same for that) and instead of taking the opportunity to spend quality time with me, he has now suddenly decided that he doesn’t want to go alone but has chosen his dad instead?

OP posts:
MsRosley · 23/09/2023 22:02

Apologies, I see now you did choose. Well done!

MsRosley · 23/09/2023 22:01

OP, men who are long term relationship material are dependable, clear in their communication, and not prone to pulling the rug from beneath you at a moment's notice. You choose.

Sunandsea26 · 23/09/2023 21:56

Would deffo be a huge red flag for me. Should be a really lovely time for you both having one on one time and he’s ruined it. An old ex of mine years ago started to ghost me and it ended shortly after

MysteryBelle · 23/09/2023 21:52

I didn’t see that you’d dumped him. Well done, op!! So happy for you. There are better and brighter men out there.

MysteryBelle · 23/09/2023 21:52

I think it’s the end of the relationship. He said it was a special trip for you two then out of the blue claimed he was stressed out and wanted to go by himself (red flag + that is just terrible behavior to renege like that) and now is bringing his father (rude to you).

I couldn’t feel the same about him.

QueenBitch666 · 23/09/2023 21:49

DeepDishCookie78 · 23/09/2023 19:51

So, I got home from a lovely day out and he rang me twice trying to justify himself… told him to stick it where the sun doesn’t shine and I’m not changing my mind and I’m moving on - feeling very proud of myself right now as before I would have given in! 💐

So proud of you !!! ✊

Takeabreather23 · 23/09/2023 21:44

OP why did he block you last night? For what reason?
That made me think possibly with another female and didn’t want you calling.

So glad you have dumped him, onwards and upwards !

sodthesodoff · 23/09/2023 21:25

DeepDishCookie78 · 23/09/2023 19:51

So, I got home from a lovely day out and he rang me twice trying to justify himself… told him to stick it where the sun doesn’t shine and I’m not changing my mind and I’m moving on - feeling very proud of myself right now as before I would have given in! 💐

Yes!!! Best update ever!

That's just fricking amazing.

Glad you've had a lovely day with family. Have a brilliant rest of the weekend

Onwards and most definitely upwards! Flowers

Pherian · 23/09/2023 21:17

you ok ?

Olika · 23/09/2023 21:15

For those who haven't read updates: OP already dumbed him.

RampantIvy · 23/09/2023 21:14

Pherian · 23/09/2023 21:12

dump him and find a whole man who doesn’t live with his parents. Sorry to be that b. You deserve better.

Edited

Read the OP's updates

BluebellsForest · 23/09/2023 21:14

Pherian · 23/09/2023 21:12

dump him and find a whole man who doesn’t live with his parents. Sorry to be that b. You deserve better.

Edited

The only thing you should apologise for is not RTFT. Just the OP's would have saved you from a redundant post.

Pherian · 23/09/2023 21:12

dump him and find a whole man who doesn’t live with his parents. Sorry to be that b. You deserve better.

littlemiss85 · 23/09/2023 21:11

Ooooft give him the boot!

NeverDropYourMooncup · 23/09/2023 21:08

Garihairy · 22/09/2023 10:30

he has had to move back home for a while because his ex got him into some financial difficulties

Beware the man who blames his ex for whatever. That might not be the case here, but just be aware that this is a potential red flag.

I suspect the financial difficulties were more to do with him spending money on going to sports fixtures and 'weekends away' with other women the lads when there were bills to pay.

You can do better than this specimen.

SirVixofVixHall · 23/09/2023 21:08

BumBurnerBum · 22/09/2023 10:26

So he booked a dirprise weekend for you both and now doesn't want to go with you?? I'd be annoyed after arranging child and pet care and would honestly reconsider this relationship.

Agree with this.
Really inconsiderate and rude.

MonkeyChiselTree · 23/09/2023 21:07

Good on you for sticking to your resolve. What an arsehole tempting you with tickets, binning you off then taking his dad! You're well rid of someone who treats you like that. You deserve better and you will find better 💐

Petlover9 · 23/09/2023 21:05

AngelinaFibres · 22/09/2023 10:57

This a million times. You can do better. Raise the bar a very long way.

Show quote history

Totally agree, he is selfish. He must know how hard it was to arrange child and pet care , tell him to bog off, you are worth more

GodDammitCecil · 23/09/2023 20:59

TrixieMixie · 23/09/2023 20:46

LTB

RTFT

Kisskiss · 23/09/2023 20:48

Well done ditching him. That’s awful, bad enough to cancel a nice surprise for no real good reason, but even worse considering the arrangements you had to make for it in the first place . This would make many pple anxious and you don’t Deserve that !!! Totally unreliable fool of a man

GrannyRose15 · 23/09/2023 20:46

I’d be very annoyed too. But turn it to your advantage. Book a spa break or something and have some blissful time on your own.

TrixieMixie · 23/09/2023 20:46

LTB

cowbags73 · 23/09/2023 20:30

Oh sweet pea, what’s the phrase “He’s just not that in to you”. I’m gonna just say he reflected on things and thought he would have a better time with his Dad. Or possibly worse, he hasn’t got the balls to say No to his Dad. If that is who he has taken.
You’ve said you have anxiety and he has, at times, helped you with that, but you’re not able to see he is causing you massive anxiety many others. So on balance, it’s not a healthy relationship and you, and your child, deserve more.
I was in a similar situation after my divorce - pretty low self esteem so clung on to the glimmers of hope from an otherwise controlling bloke - who just wasn’t that into me. Thankfully I got out, and unsurprisingly he didn’t try to fight for me!
Good luck and hope you find a better match soon.

AutumnFroglets · 23/09/2023 20:19

feeling very proud of myself right now as before I would have given in!

Well done you! You are worth ten of him, remember that. I can't believe he blocked you then decided to call you twice. The brass neck of him! 😱

WowOK · 23/09/2023 20:19

@DeepDishCookie78 stay strong 💪