To let my kids be loud outside?

marblesthecat
Thank you so much for that. If l didn't know better l'd think you lived on my estate.
I'm actually looking into sheltered accommodation to move to when l retire next year. l'm renting here and I have several health issues (some literally life threatening) and l'm hoping that would be a solution for me.
Hopefully it'll be quieter and l'd have people around me should l need some support. My immediate neighbours are very nice (I don't know anyone else here) but l'm not their problem and l don't like asking for help. I think being part of a community with a warden should make me feel a bit safer, and there aren't likely to be swarms of children either.
They were all tiny when l moved here eight years ago, and l've never experienced this before - it never even occurred to me.
My nice neighbour (with the children) said she kept asking the noisy kids to go and play on the big park area further down "but they go for ten minutes, then they forget...." I'm sorry, kids of ten and eleven don't 'forget'. They come back because they know they wind people up.
They actually broke my other neighbour's fence riding their bikes into it, then a big planter after she put that out to cover the damage.
That isn't kids playing, it's criminal damage. Vandalism. I've had them 'playing' on my front lawn, feet from my window. Climbing on my gates, hanging about on my driveway. They don't even live on the bit of the estate where l live, they live further in. But of course the parents don't want them making a racket outside their own houses.
I've had enough this summer, even though things have calmed down now.
I'm counting down the days til l can move. I really hope you can find somewhere lovely and quiet to move to, marblesthecat, sell your house to someone with kids if you can. They'll fit in much better than someone like us.
Best of luck, l wish you well. And peace and quiet. xxx

Ha - what goes around comes around! No, ambient play noise at reasonable times is fine. The wonderful thing about babies is that they get used to any noise.

remind them how noisy they used to be!!

I'm quite shocked at how many people on mumsnet of all places apparently find the sound of children playing unbearable and seem to think kids shouldn't be allowed to play outside or myst be silent at all times to accommodate their grouchy attitude!

Think you would be hard put to find even 1 post that said any of that

Did you read her updates? Her neighbours played loud music once a month until 11pm. Not exactly a crime, people are entitled to have parties etc as long as they are quiet after 11pm.

The other noises were driving their car and closing car doors. Again, not exactly a crime lol

I don’t think the times you have limited it to are unreasonable though? If it was until 11pm or something I would understand but it’s not all hours of the day and it’s not unbearably early/late

otherwise it will turn into bringing your kids inside every time the neighbours baby is asleep

It's the same in my estate and |'m selling up. I've cried so many times over the past few months and it's not even much better now they're back at school. They're still out screaming and kicking balls from 4pm until dark even on school nights. I've had this from March. I even bought noise cancelling headphones and can still hear them. I despise every single one of their useless inconsiderate parents - it seems lazy parents are on the rise.

Ha imagine if they started playing music everyday, then you would have something to complain about

I mean, you're limiting it to 21 hours each weekend - what are they moaning about?!
eyeroll....

It doesn’t sound proportionate to me. They got in and out of cars (which doesn’t sound terribly annoying to me, and can’t really be helped if you have to drive places) and had music playing once a month. Your kids are banging a basketball loudly most days (I’m assuming?) which sounds like a lot more noise than your neighbours made. I’d curb their basketball playing a bit as much for your peace and quiet as your neighbour’s!

Good for you, no you aren't, it's called karma I believe, they should have been more considerate to you back then and maybe you would be so now. Stick to your guns your garden, it's not unreasonable times so let your kids be kids

I'm really amazed how parents think its okay to complain about other people making normal noise like listening to music, getting in and out of their cars.. you know general living noise and think those people should stop making noise without thinking their kids make just as much noise back.

I have a set of neighbours just like this, how dare I have people over making normal chit chat noise, how dare I put my radio on because if I do they will start slamming their doors and going in the garden and basically shout at each other and create so much noise you can't even be in your own home.

Its not my fault the walls are that thin - go soundproof your walls if you're that bothered, because equally I've had to put up with hearing their conversations word for word all day long, their child screaming and waking me up at 7am every morning, everytime they have tantrums i hear it even if my TV is on. I don't go complaining about their noise.

I'm quite shocked at how many people on mumsnet of all places apparently find the sound of children playing unbearable and seem to think kids shouldn't be allowed to play outside or myst be silent at all times to accommodate their grouchy attitude!

There are loads of childfree posters these days and I do feel that it's changed the tone of some of the conversations.

Genuinely starting to wonder if there is much point in having a garden with kids any more, if you end up just pressured to take them to the park every single time and are made to feel bad about letting them play in the garden.

I'm quite shocked at how many people on mumsnet of all places apparently find the sound of children playing unbearable and seem to think kids shouldn't be allowed to play outside or myst be silent at all times to accommodate their grouchy attitude!
Has anyone said kids should be silent?

Has anyone said children playing is unbearable?

Has anyone said children shouldn't be allowed to play outside?

It's really predictable when people discuss parents who allow their children to make unreasonable levels of noise. It's like bingo:

• but if they're not running around shouting and shrieking then they'll be indoors on tablets and devices
• but it's just kids being kids
• how sad people think children shouldn't have fun
• people are so miserable they don't like hearing children playing
• people hate children playing outside
• but I can't teach them appropriate noise because they'll not listen/not do it

It makes you wonder how the majority of parents manage to have children, let them have fun and aren't a nuisance to their neighbours

I'm quite shocked at how many people on mumsnet of all places apparently find the sound of children playing unbearable and seem to think kids shouldn't be allowed to play outside or myst be silent at all times to accommodate their grouchy attitude!
Let your kids play outside, it's what kids are meant to be doing. The only line I would draw is not to bounce balls of people's windows bit it doesn't sound like they are doing that.
The baby is unlikely to be bothered by noise. It's probably just new parents who are struggling a bit and looking for something to blame for their baby acting like a perfectly normal baby but in that way no one is quite prepared for. And chances are in a few years that baby is going to be the one running around outside making noise.
I'm all for people being considerate of each other, but that needs to include being considerate of children's right to play.
Reach out to your neighbour, explain your position kindly and maybe take a peace offering, but I would be quite clear my kids aren't going to stop playing

No she can't but then she is being petty to start complaining they are coming to her about the noise her kids make especially if its everyday compared to theirs which was more ad hoc.

But that isn't the matter at hand is it? She can't go back in time and uncomplain.

It would be peevish of her to be especially inconsiderate because she perceived her neighbours were inconsiderate back in the day.

I don’t think loud music once a month is unreasonable, especially if it’s in a weekend. The general guidelines state that you can make noise until 11pm, and people can have a party every so often.
I’d feel lucky that I didn’t have neighbours who had parties every week lol
I see your point.
I think in my head when I hear loud music I was thinking more like full amps/rave style than some garden party music that carries a little. That's why I was thinking monthly parties like that were unreasonable.
Maybe this says a lot about some places I've lived.

Some music in the garden once a month that ends before 11 is reasonable.

And equally her neighbours have a right to get in and out of their car when they need to or listen to music within reasonable hours without her complaining about it

Your kids have got a right to play in their own garden.
Yep, ball bouncing is annoying but it will be just this year and maybe next.

I'd get them to avoid baby's nap/bed times (but I bet it doesn't really wake them just make getting them off to sleep harder)

I wouldn't limit the playing out but maybe limit the basketball bouncing to an hour a day. Is there a court somewhere nearby? They might not be old enough to go there by themselves but could they be dropped off and picked up from there once in a while with a couple of mates, if they are sensible enough? The ten year old certainly would be ok- won't be long before they go to secondary school.

Love the criticism of today's parents who are far more engaged and spend so much more time with their kids than previous generations! Can't do anything right - you either get criticised for too many structured activities, too much time indoors on screens, or letting them play out.

Lazy-arsed boomers and war babies let kids play out all day in the 1970s and 1980s and didn't know where they were or who they were with and many didn't care. So much so that dozens of public information films about basic parenting had to be made. Don't let your kids play on the railway line! Teach them how to cross the road! Don't let them climb pylons or swim in a disused quarry. FFS.

And if you think parents are bad today - who brought up those parents?

And as for behaviour at secondary school - if schools weren't fucking massive impersonal silo academy prisons with ridiculous draconian rules who actually moved into the 21st century in how they deal with pupils instead of trying to hark back to something which never even existed in the 1950s with bits of concrete and asbestos falling off them then maybe the kids could have their needs met and behave better and be ready to learn.

Kids playing in their own garden at reasonable times? That is life and they can suck it up.

I appreciate that you’ve restricted the times your children play outside. It can become quite distressing when it is a constant noise and very intrusive.
There are several noisy neighbours on my close, who let their children scream and shout pretty much constantly. While I appreciate children should be outside playing, there needs to
be some compromise where everyone can enjoy their homes without intrusive noise.
Having a baby myself, I can fully understand difficulty getting them to sleep when there’s noise outside. It is not true to say babies can just ignore noise. That is only the case when they are very young. In the summer, the windows need to be open too.
its very difficult for everyone so compromise and consideration is essential.

No one wants the thump of a ball bouncing; not even you OP. It’s inconsiderate. Pathetic tit for tat that’s hardly comparable to a few slams of a car door or a party. Glad I don’t live next door to you. You’re letting your kids think it’s ok to do what you like and fuck everyone else.

This. OP you come across as a parent who can’t be arsed putting the work in.