To let my kids be loud outside?

You are being unreasonable. You can’t compare the two things. Noisy kids drove me insane! Luckily the child next door and her friends will all play happily and so quietly in the garden that I can have my door open and still be on a teams meeting. Don’t hear them at all.

You do realise you’ll be pissing off other neighbours as well as him

@Worriednanof1

Did you read the op? Who mentioned screaming?

The OP? Here: "They aren’t too bad, a little bit of shouting but the bouncing of a basketball is now the soundtrack to my life," and "The screaming is minimal, I think it’s the constant bouncing that is annoying (it annoys me too)".

It's the minimisation of the shouting and screaming that makes me think it could be perhaps somewhat louder than OP believes it is.

I don't let DC into the garden before 9-9:30 and they're in bed by 7-7:30. Anything else in between is normal Children’s noise as far as I'm concerned. My children are loud though so if one of them starts crying outside (he screams blue murder) or they're not getting on, I bring them both inside. Luckily for our neighbours, we both work outside the house and the DC so long hours at school and nursery so they only have to tolerate us for short bursts as our weekends are busy too.

I wouldn't have an issue with your DC @Imtheterribleneighbour. Your neighbours sound like they have a very short memory. Irony at its very best here I'm afraid.

Playing normally fine, that ear piercing squeal and deliberately annoying or making a repetitive loud noise all the time no I will stop it and I expect the same of others

YABU that would piss me right off.

YANBU it's your home and it's a ball and it's normal noise.

But YABU because it would annoy me.

IM TORN.

This

Yanbu.
They reap what they sow.

I actually banned my children from repeatedly bouncing balls. There are plenty of other things they can do. It's really fucking annoying and far worse than children screaming..

Next time they come round tell them you know how they feel, having a noisy neighbour when you have young children is a real fucker especially when they don't give a shit about their noise. You had this awful childless couple who would play loud music at the weekends, slam their car doors in the early hours, leave the engine running at 7am EVERY morning. They'd hate to live next door to those people!

I think it's fine OP. My view is that any noise that wouldn't be viewed by the council as unacceptable is fair game. So at those times of day is acceptable. A new baby is going to sleep at many and unpredictable points through the day and go to bed early for a few years, so there won't ever be a time you can be sure your dc won't wake them. I used to have neighbours playing party music at 7pm but I understood that it was a normal time to do that even if my baby was sleeping. Part of living in a flat/terrace.

Agree with this. The more we as a society pander to people's minor annoyances and demand people pander to ours, the more intolerant we all get. Let kids be kids. Let people enjoy their space reasonably. Bouncing a bloody ball is reasonable.

How much are we going to control kids childhoods though? Surely kids should be able play outside in their own garden freely with a ball. Isn't that the definition of childhood? It'd be different if they were bouncing the ball onto their house wall or something. YANBU OP.

Or more likely the children in this case will also grow up not considering others because their mother can’t be arsed to parent them

Revenge is very satisfying but I think that you have amply had yours and it is time to move on.

Ultimately, unlike what many seem to think, living in densely populated space takes consideration and cooperation, which means not disturbing neighbours through too much noise, especially at night.

It is perfectly reasonable for children to play, but bouncing balls do disturb others, so maybe 2 hours a day maximum, at sensible times.

If they love basketball, it is probably time for them to go to a local park/club, where they won’t disturb anyone.

Let kids be kids. They'll be older and moaning about noise for long enough.
People forget how kids have fun even though they were kids themselves.

YANBU it's good for kids to be playing outside and you are limiting it to daytime. If they were running around screaming at 7am it would be different but it doesn't sound like Is there a park or somewhere nearby they can go with the basketball some of the time to give everyone a break from the noise and give them more space to play?

9.30 am to 8pm in weekends ? That is a very long time for outside noise. The nights are closing in so why not just agree to limit for now as in any case it will be likely the kids will be inside more from now on and re evaluate next Spring.
Personally YABU if your kids are outdoors making noise all day all weekend that is pretty annoying for anyone not just those with babies. Why not suggest to kids that they play 1 he basketball and then 1 hr something else. Doesn't have to be mime but even just another outdoor game with a ball would offer some relief

the noise they are making is at reasonable times - and children playing will make noise.

I suspect this neighbours child will be noisy in a few years - by which time your kids will be the ones soaking car doors and playing music!

if the neighbour comes back I would comment that the issue seems to be you are all at different life stages. When your kids were babies he kept waking at night with music l, and care for and idling vehicles early in the morning. Now your babies are playing during the day and annoying him! In a few years his baby will be the one making noise playing. Then you will both be cursed by the teen years!

i would laugh and say we have both complained to each other about noise, nothing changes so maybe now just live and let live?

Agree, having suffered with bouncing ball neighbour myself.
Cars starting at 7am is not a big deal at all, most people are up and about for work at that time.
You sound petty tbh OP.
I'd rather your neighbours noise than yours.

I think that the issue is that when your dc were little you raised the noise issue and they carried on regardless. Either they were young and now regret their actions or they are just self-centred and will always put their own wishes first. Did they warn you about the parties or just start with the music?

I personally would try to offer an olive branch, ideally to both of them together. Say that you think that your initial response was partly due to still feeling that their actions impacted on you at the same stage in life, let that linger a little. See how they react and if they apologise. Base your moderation of your dc's outside time on their reactions. Ask them for a rough indication of the crucial timings for them, moderating a little would be calling them in 15 mins early so you are still the bigger person, although not much because you know it is getting darker and colder.

If they apologise then there is room for more negotiation, if they just justify their prior actions then they will probably always put themselves first and even if you get your dc to moderate their behaviour now, they will have no intention of doing the same when it is their dc playing basketball while your dc are doing GCSEs/A levels.

We had similar issues with our new neighbours over parking when our children were little and we needed extra space to get them out of car seats etc (still on our own drive by the way, just the way the cars were parked). Fast forward now to our children being older and being able to get out of the car independently, they now have a baby and pushed a note through asking for consideration over parking. Sorry no, or as you told us years ago, it’s our drive way and we will park as we like. I believe it’s called reap what you sow.

No! Leave them be!! The alternative is them sitting on some God awful games console. Kids should be outside and should be active. Encourage them not to shriek/scream though.

The fact that the neighbours used to be inconsiderate makes it even easier to ignore them.

I cannot believe how many people on here think kids shouldn't be allowed to bounce a ball in their own garden.

YADNBU

while bouncing ballls makes me want to jump off a bridge (personally can't stand that sound) I wouldn't stop your kids in your shoes.

I've got neighbours like yours. Currently child free and noisy fuckers. Very loud bassy music, harley type motorbikes being revved at all hours, constant diy drilling. He's got a booming voice.

Can't wait for them to have small kids. I will be the most annoying inconsiderate neighbour ever 😃😃😃

Your kids can play outside whenever they want but fgs find a basketball court elsewhere and try to curb unnecessary screaming.