MIL has been with her partner for 20 years and they’ve decided to get married. She rang my DH and it turns out the date they’ve booked is my birthday (a milestone birthday) which falls on a weekday. Apparently she remembered it was my birthday and there were a few other dates but this was the cheapest. She told my DH after it was booked.
She’s invited my DH (who she wants to give her away) but it’s not clear whether the kids or me are invited. It’s not easy for me to get time off work as I work in a term time only role so I don’t get holiday. We also have kids with Sen and aside from my mum we wouldn’t have anyone to be there when they got home (they attend a specialist provision). MIL hasn’t asked if anyone will be home to see the kids in and the meal after is booked for lunchtime and the venue is an hour and a half away. So I assume she doesn’t want me to go.
DH has a sibling but they have no children and a flexible job. MIL’s partner’s sibling we’ve never been invited to meet only has his kids every other weekend so it’s not an issue.
We’ve had issues in the past as she’s been quite passive aggressive towards me (would ignore me and only talk to my DH, would offer only him food and drink when we went to see her etc). We did get married without her but we married with two friends as witnesses as the kids would’ve found even a small wedding too much so they stayed with my mum and we didn’t think it fair to invite one parent when the other couldn’t come.
In short, are we right to be a bit cross and hurt? They’re not short of money and a weekend would’ve only cost an extra £100.