Dating a man who is obsessed with his child

He doesn't sound like a keeper to me. You're not on the same wavelength, I'm sure there will be someone else out there who is beter suited to you. And I daresay he will find someone who fits into his worldview too, but it doesn't sound to me like it's going to be you. It wouldn't be me, either.
Of course at this stage he would 'put his child/children first' as some have said, but that doesn't mean gong on about them all the time. For me, my job comes first, but I wouldn't bore other people with it by going on and on about it on a date.

I would like elsewhere OP. This relationship is not for you

Don't date men with kids. Honestly, especially as a parent, I do not get you at all. A man who is obviously very involved with and affectionate towards his child is an absolute win.

You're both adults with children, not teenagers. I think if what you want is the frilly romance stuff and to forget about your kids for a while, you should find someone else who wants that. But personally I'd go for the mature adult who loves his kid and isn't afraid to share that.

Sounds dull and I guess he doesn't have much personality. Find someone else to have a laugh with! Or try changing the subject all the time he may not realise he is doing it. Might be default conversion if he is nervous. He might be trying to make you see your kids arnt an issue in the long run or visa versa.

No it’s not about the kid coming first at all that makes the okay. Sounds like a monster for not agreeing which is not true.
My children come first, they do not occupy my every waking thought, and every conversation.

I dated one of those actually the child was a similar age I wonder if it was him. This kid also played sport that the father was heavily involved in, and the poor kid was being coached to within an inch of his life. We just weren’t compatible at all so I threw them back and now he’s with somebody else who’s putting up with it. Interestingly, she doesn’t have children so she probably doesn’t know what normal looks like God help if she wants her own kid.

I'd walk away. I hate people who have nothing to talk about except their children. Your children are your world not everyone else's. The people giving you a hard time on here are also probably the same bores who drone on about their kids too. I love my children and will talk about them but not constantly.

I had a bad experience of this. The guy had moved back into his mums after the break up. His sister also lived there. He had daily contact as ex lived near by and would drop the child off at 9am (she had a morning job).

Every single morning all 3 of them would spend 3 hours just fawning over the child. It was weird tbh. I could understand it if the contact was less frequent but it was daily! When I was expected to join in (I had older DC at that time) I ended the relationship. I'm not that interested in other peoples children and it was boring just sitting and admiring the little prince!

He sounds like a bore. Anyone who waffles on about a topic that is fascinating to them and not their listener is a bore.

I suggest you walk away OP. His child will come first. As it should be.

A man talking non stop about his children is not necessarily the same thing as a man being actively involved with them.
I'd say this is even possibly red flag behaviour but it's irrelevant because it's not what the OP is looking for.

OP it's a good thing you know what you want from dating/ a relationship and this man sadly isn't it, you learn something new each time so move on and don't lose sight of what you need.

The OP doesn't say how much he actually sees his son. I'd suspect not that much otherwise he'd be keen to talk about something else!

Plus just talking about yourself all the time without caring about the other person means he has poor social skills and is arrogant. Not sure either of those are markers for a great dad.

Mums I know who only want to talk about their kids are the ones who work full time and have grandparents looking after them most of the weekend as well, basically rarely seeing them.

'Mumsnet is full of women asking if not being involved with his children is a red flag!'

Be involved with your child, just don't bore everyone else to death about them!

😆

The poor man can’t win. Mumsnet is full of women asking if not being involved with his children is a red flag!

You're not going to change him, so obviously he's not the man for you. I think it's wonderful that he's so enchanted with his child--he will make a good partner for another woman.

I would find it boring and it also says he is quite self centred. I tolerate it from my hairdresser but wouldn't date someone like this and I have 3 children myself.

I'd be ending it, how boring to never be able to have a conversation where his child is not referenced.

Is it Peter Andre?

I admit I can't be friends with someone and go out with them if they talk about their children constantly.
I don't think this will work.

You can't tell a good father by how much he talks about them!

DH and I don't talk about our 3 DC when we get some time alone. We talk about other stuff- us, music, the news, work, history, books, politics, not the DC all the time.

Yeah, you're not his person @Honeybu

Could it be that his male friends aren't interested and this is his chance to talk about his child?

Either way it doesn't sound like you are meant to be together