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Original poster

Should i let 13 year old dd wear false lashes to school?

258 replies

EyelashConundrum · 17/09/2023 20:44

Dd is 13, and has started wearing stick on lashes to school. They are not super heavy spidery ones, but they do change the way her eyes look. She bought them with her own money in town with friends.

Im really torn between letting her wear them (school allows it, all her friends wear them and she obviously wants to fit in, she's 13 and is trying to find her own style, etc).

But then false eyelashes just seem so unnecessary for 13 year olds who are going to spend the day sitting in maths and geography. And my heart breaks that modern beauty standards make her feel the need to conform and wear this level of adornment.

Its a choice between being the authoritarian mother who forbids it because its just excessive in my opinion. But equally i remember being 13 and arguing with my parents that my thick orange foundation was an absolute necessity and they couldn't possibly understand what its like to be a teenager.

Ive allowed voting

YABU - Let her wear them. Its not doing any harm, doesn't disrupt her learning and helps her to feel confident.

YANBU - Absolutely no way should i let my 13 year old leave the house wearing these ridiculous things.

OP posts:
Coffeedrinker7 · 17/09/2023 21:18

@Lamelie Budget pound shop bratz dolls 🤣 Love this!

I agree- pick your battles. My 15yo is into false eyelashes- the ones you stick on individually. I just comment ‘gosh that seems to take a long time’ and remind her to take them off before bed to avoid eye infections.

ItstimeToMoveagain · 17/09/2023 21:18

If the school let them and you know all her friends are wearing them then it's not a hill I'd die on, it's not a permanent alteration like those of us eho plucked our eyebrows to nothing and are now left with none in middle age

SlippySarah · 17/09/2023 21:17

I wouldn't get into a disagreement about it but I would also want to help my DD with her confidence so she didn't feel this was necessary.

Lesina · 17/09/2023 21:16

No

bakeywithcakey · 17/09/2023 21:16

I mean I'm not a fan personally and I probably wouldn't be happy about it but I don't think I'd forbid it. The school are allowing it and really what's the huge deal as long as she's actually participating in lessons and learning, who really cares?

Original poster
EyelashConundrum · 17/09/2023 21:15

stonkytonk11 · 17/09/2023 21:12

I e only read a few replies and it made me chuckle that the posters that are saying just let her get on with it are secondary teachers. I'm a secondary teacher too and am in the pick your battles camp. There's a lot more to come and anyway, she'll soon get fed up with them

Yeah, I'm reading the replies as they are streaming in and i noticed that all the secondary teachers are in the let her wear them camp.

OP posts:
Chocolatepeanutbuttercupsandicecream · 17/09/2023 21:15

I presume the same way they used to enforce the ban on nail polish when I was at school in the nineties.. sending you to the office to remove it with the really nasty cheap remover 😂

Zola1 · 17/09/2023 21:14

stonkytonk11 · 17/09/2023 21:12

I e only read a few replies and it made me chuckle that the posters that are saying just let her get on with it are secondary teachers. I'm a secondary teacher too and am in the pick your battles camp. There's a lot more to come and anyway, she'll soon get fed up with them

This is a good point 😂 I'm pick your battles, not a teacher but a social worker for kids in care. Known enough teenage girls to know false lashes is way down my priority list

stonkytonk11 · 17/09/2023 21:13

Also, how exactly does a school not allow it? That would be pretty difficult to enforce!

Tiredalwaystired · 17/09/2023 21:12

Evenings and weekends if she must. Not for school.

stonkytonk11 · 17/09/2023 21:12

I e only read a few replies and it made me chuckle that the posters that are saying just let her get on with it are secondary teachers. I'm a secondary teacher too and am in the pick your battles camp. There's a lot more to come and anyway, she'll soon get fed up with them

RestingMurderousFace · 17/09/2023 21:12

Why would a child need to wear false lashes? How bizarre.

xyz111 · 17/09/2023 21:10

user1846385927482658 · 17/09/2023 20:45

I'd be really unhappy about it. I'm surprised the school allow it.

The local school to us, whenever I see the kids they're always in full make up. Makes me sound old, but really short skirts that show off way more than it should for a school girl. Some schools are clearly stricter than others.

Itslosenotloose · 17/09/2023 21:09

@Johnnylewis

its a trend in some schools. It’s as simple as that. Like someone’s 17 year old said further up the thread “it’s really not that deep”.

I work with teen girls every day. I can bet they’re the light and feathery ones as being completely overdone with spider ones isn’t a good look (or so I’ve heard on the grapevine).

Often they wear them for a few weeks then can’t be arsed with the faff. I have to agree with the secondary school teacher further up the thread. The girls who start wearing them early are the first ones to also bin them off entirely. The novelty soon wears off.

When I’m at work my phone calls consist of ringing parents about their daughters who have self harmed, or maybe haven’t eaten for a few days at school. A set of feathery lashes are way, way down on the “is this really important list”.

Zola1 · 17/09/2023 21:08

I have a 13yo too. Honestly to me it's a battle not worth choosing, if it doesn't make her late for school or affect her ability to engage with her lessons she can do it

etherealfae · 17/09/2023 21:08

also to add you have to go thru makeup disasters in your teens it builds character 😂 haha no but honestly my teen years i looked like a drag queen half the time and now in my 20s i rarely wear makeup at all

Loopyloooooo · 17/09/2023 21:07

Gawd it's hard been a parent isn't it.

On the one hand its all part of growing up and some girls (kids) do genuinely love this stuff and are happy to express themselves through it.

On the other hand do 13 year olds really need it/is it overly sexualised etc...or is it just a bit of fun?

Sorry I'm not helping 🙈. I battle with this this stuff for myself, never mind for my own young teen.

MN will probably skew towards she doesn't need it. Which obviously she doesn't! However, for me personally if she's otherwise a good kid and cracks on with her work well I think I'd allow it. Go with your gut feeling.

Johnnylewis · 17/09/2023 21:06

etherealfae · 17/09/2023 21:04

@Johnnylewis it alters her appearance and makes her feel confident- problem?

How is that expressing oneself?

jackstini · 17/09/2023 21:06

@MariePaperRoses that's absolute b-crap

Many eyelashes are made from real hair - but pubes would be far too short, too thick/coarse and too curly to make lashes! (& I have worked in the industry for over 20 years)

Hankunamatata · 17/09/2023 21:05

I'd talk to her and say you rather she didn't for school.
I do laugh at girls who look like they have a whole spider shoved on each eye and you can barely see their actual eyes - though bad make up is a teen thing.

Johnnylewis · 17/09/2023 21:05

MariePaperRoses · 17/09/2023 21:01

Tell her that the cheap ones which I'm sure will be the ones she has bought, come from China and are made from donated pubes.

😂

etherealfae · 17/09/2023 21:04

@Johnnylewis it alters her appearance and makes her feel confident- problem?

Year13novice · 17/09/2023 21:04

My similar age DD doesn’t wear any make up but does love her lashes. I honestly don’t care if they make her happy and school allow it so it’s just no big deal.

Johnnylewis · 17/09/2023 21:03

etherealfae · 17/09/2023 20:58

if they're just light and subtle then why not! i used to wear full on lash extensions at that age, didn't do me any harm, it didn't lead to a life of standing on street corners, think everyone needs to chill out a bit ahahaha let her express herself!

How is extending one's lashes expressing themselves? Serious question

Rexxxxxx · 17/09/2023 21:03

Better pick your battles… personally I think they are rather daft but wouldn’t pass comment on the lashes. She’s expressing her individuality and it’s pretty harmless and just a bit of fun. If the school have issues with them, then it will be picked up soon enough.

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