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Original poster

Should i let 13 year old dd wear false lashes to school?

258 replies

EyelashConundrum · 17/09/2023 20:44

Dd is 13, and has started wearing stick on lashes to school. They are not super heavy spidery ones, but they do change the way her eyes look. She bought them with her own money in town with friends.

Im really torn between letting her wear them (school allows it, all her friends wear them and she obviously wants to fit in, she's 13 and is trying to find her own style, etc).

But then false eyelashes just seem so unnecessary for 13 year olds who are going to spend the day sitting in maths and geography. And my heart breaks that modern beauty standards make her feel the need to conform and wear this level of adornment.

Its a choice between being the authoritarian mother who forbids it because its just excessive in my opinion. But equally i remember being 13 and arguing with my parents that my thick orange foundation was an absolute necessity and they couldn't possibly understand what its like to be a teenager.

Ive allowed voting

YABU - Let her wear them. Its not doing any harm, doesn't disrupt her learning and helps her to feel confident.

YANBU - Absolutely no way should i let my 13 year old leave the house wearing these ridiculous things.

OP posts:
Studswagger · 17/09/2023 23:24

cobden28 · 17/09/2023 20:58

No way should a girl of 13 be wearing any sort of make-up, least of all to school ! If she wants to wear false anything, insist she waits till she's old enough to buy said items herself and that she NEVER wears said items to school or to family occasions.

She did buy them herself. Why not family occasions?

SilverCatStripes · 17/09/2023 23:23

etherealfae · 17/09/2023 21:04

@Johnnylewis it alters her appearance and makes her feel confident- problem?

Girls (and boys) shouldn’t feel confident because they’ve altered their appearance, they should feel confident because of who they are.

“Change your appearance in order to feel better about yourself” is a really shit thing to teach kids.

JMSA · 17/09/2023 23:21

I wear them sometimes, though the pupils don't Grin

JMSA · 17/09/2023 23:21

user1846385927482658 · 17/09/2023 20:50

Is there such a thing as natural-looking fake eyelashes?

Yes.

JMSA · 17/09/2023 23:20

When was the last time some of you set foot in a high school?
I work in one, and many of the first year girls have fake tan and lashes.
I agree it's unnecessary but schools these days have to pick their battles.
I won't allow a single pupil to take their phone to the toilet, as otherwise they'll text their mates to arrange a vaping session in the loo.
Welcome to school nowadays!

Nevermind202020 · 17/09/2023 23:18

ItstimeToMoveagain · 17/09/2023 22:54

Well unless they are huge flapping in the wind ones I'd think policing how short tops are would be much easier at a glance

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I know some of the girls do wear excessively large false lashes, the ones that you'd have to be blind not to notice.

2weekstowait · 17/09/2023 23:17

I would let her. If the school doesn't allow it they will intervene, which will be the natural consequence. I might say if I didn't think they looked appropriate for school, but it would be still be her decision. There are worse things to worry about.

Streuthbruce · 17/09/2023 23:15

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etherealfae · 17/09/2023 23:14

Justcallmebebes · 17/09/2023 22:42

Absolutely not. No way. Why does a 13 year old even know about false eyelashes?

she's 13 years old not 13 months

Studswagger · 17/09/2023 23:13

Justcallmebebes · 17/09/2023 22:42

Absolutely not. No way. Why does a 13 year old even know about false eyelashes?

???

Studswagger · 17/09/2023 23:12

Headingforholidays · 17/09/2023 22:26

The thing is, if you really enforce it properly, they stop wearing them, nobody comes to school dressed like they are going to a nightclub and a most of the bitchiness towards less 'cool' girls stops. School just becomes a place to wear uniform and get on with your work. (And actually wearing long false nails does interfere with science experiments, PE, using a computer, cooking....)

Show quote history

No it doesn’t go away. I went to very strict religious schools where you got detention for having the wrong colour bobbles in your hair- everyone still new who was cool and who wasn’t, who was poor and who wasn’t etc. uniform is not the social leveller people claim it is. Every school I’ve worked in has been the same.

Id let her wear the eyelashes, they won’t stop her learning and banning them won’t convince her that makeup is unnecessary/oppressive/inappropriate etc.

fivelilducks · 17/09/2023 23:03

I can't see why you wouldn't let her

ItstimeToMoveagain · 17/09/2023 22:54

Nevermind202020 · 17/09/2023 22:45

Our local school, which allows them, keeps going on about the dress code (no uniform but strict rules on how short tops can be and so on) so if they can 'police' that they can include lashes surely?

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Well unless they are huge flapping in the wind ones I'd think policing how short tops are would be much easier at a glance

pictoosh · 17/09/2023 22:52

Justcallmebebes · 17/09/2023 22:42

Absolutely not. No way. Why does a 13 year old even know about false eyelashes?

Do your kids live in a hole in the ground?

Nevermind202020 · 17/09/2023 22:45

stonkytonk11 · 17/09/2023 22:26

I'm intrigued by those questioning the school allowing them - how much time do you think we have to check girls eyelashes and sanction those with falsies?? Maybe it's just my school but this is seriously not a priority!

Our local school, which allows them, keeps going on about the dress code (no uniform but strict rules on how short tops can be and so on) so if they can 'police' that they can include lashes surely?

Justcallmebebes · 17/09/2023 22:42

Absolutely not. No way. Why does a 13 year old even know about false eyelashes?

honeylulu · 17/09/2023 22:41

I'd let her. They are such a faff to put on she might get fed up with them quickly!

SherbetLemonn · 17/09/2023 22:34

Thementalloadisreal · 17/09/2023 22:25

It could be worse, it could be dream matte mousse.

My exact thoughts 🤣

Honestly this isn’t a battle I’d be having. Does it really matter? Could be false lashes, could be mascara, she’s finding her feet with her look and she’s not even being silly with it. It’ll probably fizzle out as she gets a bit older anyway.

FreshStart12345 · 17/09/2023 22:29

YABU

I remember the fights as a teenager with my parents as I thought they were old and didn't understand life as a 90s teen, and the more they said no the more I rebelled and did things anyway - just behind their backs, so when I had my own daughter I decided I wouldn't say no to anything unless I had a very good reason behind it (ie drugs, smoking etc). I believed she should be allowed freedom to express who she was, and I wanted to have an open and honest relationship with her.

False eyelashes are such a minor thing. Saying no just because you don't like them isn't a good enough reason imo. Your dd likes them and as it's her body, and not causing any long term damage, then she should be allowed them.

Pick your battles. Is this really a hill you are willing to die on?

2jacqi · 17/09/2023 22:29

think all it needs is one or two parents to say no and the rest of them will follow suit!! remember, you are the parent and she is still very much a minor!

stonkytonk11 · 17/09/2023 22:26

I'm intrigued by those questioning the school allowing them - how much time do you think we have to check girls eyelashes and sanction those with falsies?? Maybe it's just my school but this is seriously not a priority!

Headingforholidays · 17/09/2023 22:26

LetMeEnfoldYou · 17/09/2023 21:40

I think that sort of enforcing bollocks is ridiculous, and makes me glad I don't live in England, which at times seem to be obsessed with how pupils look as much as their actual education.

Show quote history

The thing is, if you really enforce it properly, they stop wearing them, nobody comes to school dressed like they are going to a nightclub and a most of the bitchiness towards less 'cool' girls stops. School just becomes a place to wear uniform and get on with your work. (And actually wearing long false nails does interfere with science experiments, PE, using a computer, cooking....)

Thementalloadisreal · 17/09/2023 22:25

It could be worse, it could be dream matte mousse.

AnneWhittle · 17/09/2023 22:24

the school allows it ?
Have you tried phoning them ? I bet they don't

GoryBory · 17/09/2023 22:23

It depends how long they are.
If they’re natural/the same as mascara then I’d let her.

I used to wear fake eyelashes all of the time when I went out clubbing and they were the proper long ones.
They looked good for a club but way too over the top for everyday wear.

However, I have recently been converted to natural looking ones and they’re so much easier than putting mascara on every morning, as they last a few days and so much better for your eyelashes.