Should i let 13 year old dd wear false lashes to school?

To be honest, at 13 I'd have taken them off her if she bought them. She's a child.

Amazed if school are actually allowing it, i think its more likely they struggle to police who is & isn't wearing them and your DD is relying on not being pulled up on it.

I would imagine the school hates them and has tried to ban them. But the girls keep wearing them and when the school takes action the parents come in moan about their children's human rights. Sadly schools lose battles like this continuously due to poor parenting. This then creates problems and battles for good parents.

Misses the point but aren’t they damaging her actual lashes more? She will end up with none.

I think it’ll be hard for you to take a stance when all her friends are wearing them, if that’s the only problem I’d probably let it go.

Zombie

You’ve brought up a really old thread and it would be better to start a new one as you’ll get a range of responses. It sounds as if your dd is having real self esteem issues here and the anxiety will probably get worse in year 11 as GCSE year is tough. Can you compromise with your dd that she wears natural looking falsies and changes them to long ones for the weekend?

My dd is a private school so they’re less strict albeit we did have an issue with the lashes in year 11. I emailed the head of year (HOY) and said dd is really struggling with this one as her appearance and anxiety are linked. I said that she felt she was being singled out when there were other girls in her year wearing false eyelashes and according to her they were not being challenged. Schools have a policy of everyone being treated the same so they have to address this one. The HOY responded that as long as dd is making an effort to wear less obvious ones (ie shorter, not so bushy), they will let her wear them. This is what dd did.

Perhaps school will compromise with you if you explain the options you can see is continue as she is with iso, which is leading to school refusal and ask if it is that important that they will allow her to fail her exams over and please if you can get her to compromise, will they compromise too. And I would also say that your dd feels that she has been targeted as there are other girls in year 10 and many in year 11, who are wearing them and she hasn’t seen them join her in iso for this.

I know this appearance thing sounds extreme to some people. It was the same for my dd. I will also warn you my dd also developed anorexia so ensure your dd is eating lunch at school every day as this was the first sign I just didn’t realise it at the time.

Should a 13 yr old be wearing makeup at all? I think not, and would make her clean it off her face before she went out of the house.

Good morning. I'm mum of 14y.o. teenager. She is in y.10 high school. School not allow fake eyelashes but my daughter (not only her ofcourse) is wearing them since begging of school. If we count she is fourth year in school and never really had a problem because eyelashes but this year somehow we need to be in school every week nearly because they have problem with her. She has a very bad past years in school (bullied etc) and this year when she is fine school is making problems with her fake eyelashes. We even went to doctor and she has a paper about her filling more comfortable with eyelashes and about our concerns is she has to remove them she will stop coming to school because she fills much more comfortable in eyelashes. She is afraid children will laugh from her if she will not wear eyelashes. After letter from doctor for 3weeks everything was ok and they even said we accepted the letter but later suddenly they started to fight with her again. They don't want to suspend her but are sending her to isolation. But for me its looks like depends who is in school (teachers) because my daughter says actually is one teacher who is chasing her. Any advice? I don't know how to talk with school any more because school help us alot in past years but this time I blame school for what is happening because how I can explain to teenager she can't have eyelashes when she was wearing them for last 3!!years in school and still is some girls who are wearing them in her year and year 11 especially. Only what school is saying is a school rules that don't have nothing different to say act9.today school called again and next week I'm going to visit them but to be honest I don't know what to say. Any advice? For me it's a little discrimination because why another girls are wearing them and way how they talk to my daughter sometimes they make her cry and now maybe she doesn't want to go to school because of the teachers... thank you for reading I'm desperate for any advice.

I would say she can wear them on weekends but not to school..
I personally wouldn't let my daughter wear them until 16 but she could use mascara from 13. I think they look awful I'm surprised school allows it.

There's no need for ger to wear them for school, but if the school allow them (I've never heard of a school allowing them!) I wouldn't argue it. She won't be breaking rules.

Why?

What issue does a haircut cause?

The school should ban them. In the same ways my boys’ school has really strict rules on fashion haircuts and piercings (strictly prohibited), stupid false lashes should be banned.

As others said pick your battles. My DD used to hide multiple piercings under her hair (didn't start growing it till end of Year 11 so she wouldn't be made to tie it up) There are worse things she could be spending her money on.

Agree with this!

God love em! I’m slightly worried my DD doesn’t push back more and she’s so obedient!! I want her to grow a back bone and if she said she wanted to wear lashes I think I’d say yes! I just think I’m too strict!

last night she had strawberries and melted chocolate as her night snack! I said look have the strawbs but maybe keep the chocolate for during the day! Poor child felt so told off! Also I’ve said things like oh I’ll buy you the Nike air pro shorts everyone is wearing and she’s like it’s ok mummy they’re just black cycling shorts. Her friends though are in year 7 and still not into a lot of stuff like this, she’s a slightly trendier one with white crocs!

anyway i guess it’ll all come! Going back to your point OP I’m not sure if I would allow my daughter but you’re right to think it’s a ‘pick your battles’ one. Good luck.

I'd come down on the 'pick your battles' side. Not overly dramatic false eyelashes are okay if the school is allowing it. I hate the spider's leg ones on all ages but false eyelashes are as commonplace now. I was disappointed when I saw some of the lionesses wearing them during the games as it seems so pointless and stereotypical (women needing to look "their best" all the time) and the lionesses are being pushed as great role models - so its likely that young girls will want to wear them.

My DD is now 23 and used to wear the massive spidery ones but is now sporting a much more natural look - I think its just something many young women and girls will go through.

I have old school photos of me wearing heavy foundation, blusher and blue eyeliner, blue mascara and blue eye shadow to school, with white highlighter just under my brows (because I knew what I was doing 😁) when I was about 14/15 and my mum being aghast but not really able to stop me - I'd have just put it on at school if she didn't let me wear it leaving the house.

I do this too, but she´s 5. Judging by the ridiculous lenghts of skirts I see on 13 year old neigbours of ours, it won´t last long.

I think she's just experimenting with her style, they weren't around when we were at school but if they were, I'm sure we'd be trying them.

If it were my daughter I wouldn't like it, but that's because I don't really like them unless they are done really well and look natural. However saying that, pick your battles, it's really not the end of the world.

I wouldn't allow it either. Like pps I can't believe a school would allow it.

My dd and friends say that they're chavvy (tacky?) and they wouldn't wear them. They only wear them for stage (lots do the after school dance and performing arts).

More than me
Its not an age thing

When my daughter was in Yr 7 or 8, it was the fashion to have really heavy drawn on eyebrows. I mean really thick, heavy eyebrows, they looked like two slugs sitting on her face. Whilst I generally agree with 'pick your battles' , I didn't allow her to go to school like that. She was angry with me at the time, but now looks back at photos of herself at that time and she is mortified and thanks me for trying to stop her making a fool of herself.

Dts wear them, I don't like them but I let it go. My mum didn't like my plucked to nothing eyebrows in the 90s, or sun ind hair. At least the eyelashes are instantly fixable!

My daughter is 14 and wears them to school. The school allow them as long as they are natural looking. I embrace it. She's finding out who she is and experimenting with makeup. All her friends wear them and I'm sure next month she will be obsessing over something else. I really can't spend the next four years policing her make up. She will only resent me and do it anyway. I looked like Madonna in the 80s when I was her age. Really heavy make up!!

I wouldn't want my dd12 to wear them. She's never asked and isn't a thing with her peers. I wear them but I wear them for a night then take them off. I can't see how it is hygienic to wear stick on lashes for a full week. Does she take them off everynight to wash?

Thankfully dd school are very strict- no make up, no nail polish (even clear), no jewellery (even studs). Removes that battle every day.

Yeah, because teenagers definitely hold their parents' opinion on what looks crap in such high regard 🤣

Personally I wouldn't allow it. I am pretty appalled schools are allowing it tbh. DD's school was no anything, jewellery, make-up, hair dye, nail varnish, nothing. Wear what you like outside of school, but inside non negotiable.

Maybe we need more honesty with our kids. It looks crap, tell them so. They are also made of plastic, bad for the environment, or real hair bought from desperately poor Asians. Neither is very appealing. Spend more, and you are looking at mink. Not great options tbh.