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Original poster

Friend doesn't reply to messages

32 replies

8ahwe · 13/09/2023 21:32

Evening all,

Trying to get a steer on if I'm being an idiot or not.

A long term friend that I've known for over 10 years and even been on holiday with is terrible at getting back to me. It's been like this for a few years now.

I text them 4 months ago to see how they are and asking if they had time for a catch up but they read the message and didnt respond.

I messaged them 2 weeks ago to see how they are but they havent read my message, they have been online though, and I know they use whatsapp everyday.

Should I just give up and move on? It seems a shame to throw away a long friendship as we have a great laugh when we do meet up.

OP posts:
Nopenopenopenopenopenope · 13/09/2023 21:40

Some people have stuff going on. I might wonder if they're okay but I always make sure people know it's okay to reply whenever the hell they like. Same day, next week, next month, hell next year. And I hope they extend me the same grace. We aren't friends any less for it. It's like we pick up where we left off when it's mutually agreeable to message or meet up or whatever.

Circumferences · 13/09/2023 21:40

Well, there surely needs to be a line drawn where they never reply so you stop contacting them altogether because it's frankly rude of them.
It's up to you where that line is drawn.

Original poster
8ahwe · 13/09/2023 21:40

They use whatsapp for calling but mainly messages.

IMO which might be wrong, there's being "useless" at replying and there's not responding for 4+months and ignoring a follow up.

I assume it still shows as an unread message or they can see when they scroll through whatsapp?

OP posts:
Invalidusername88 · 13/09/2023 21:39

I've got a friend like this and I personally think they are SUCH a twat 😂their excuse is that they don't do texts (which is stupid- let's be honest) and prefer phone calls which tbf they do but not very often. There comes a time when you simply have to grow up and make the effort - it wouldn't wash with an employer if you had a mobile for works purposes - "Why didn't you reply?" "Oh I didn't feel like it." Idiots 😂

worriedandworries · 13/09/2023 21:36

Am I your friend?!

I'm dreadful at replying. I can open a message and half reply get distracted then forget to finish. Then other people message and it pushes a read message that I've forgotten to reply to down the list.

I hate it, but I'm genuinely useless at replying despite wanting to see my friends

maybebluth · 13/09/2023 21:36

I do this. I am a bit of an introvert and can have mental health episodes. I am also not terribly social. Try not to take it personally.

MidnightOnceMore · 13/09/2023 21:33

What happens if you call them?

Some people don't really do texts, it might be that? Or do you think it's just you?

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