To think neighbours shouldn't be playing music all day in the garden

I quietly seethed about my neighbour's loud music for months. DH was off work one day and we were sitting in the garden when the music came on. He yelled over the garden fence 'turn it down please, neighbour' and they did. It is still played but atca much lower volume. We know they use Alexa so could always shout 'Alexa, turn the music down ' if it got too loud again!

Probably unreasonable but other people's music gives me the absolute rage. Don't mind kids playing and shouting, lawnmowers etc but music (and god forbid the radio) are just incessant and completely drown out the birdsong, bees buzzing, leaves rustling in wind etc which for me is the joy of a garden.

Sat here in my garden at just after 7pm and I can literally hear kids screeching. The music is going on to drown them out.

I don't mind overheating other people's music tbh. Quite a lot of people round here play it and it doesn't bother me.

My neighbour does this every sunny day. Drives me insane. Listening to other people's music choices is the worst. Had to come in from my garden on a weekday lunchtime recently due to his ambient shite!

I can tolerate garden music as long as it's not stupidly loud. My weird neighbour sings along to Adele which makes me laugh as she's so bad at singing.

The Shameless family in my street play dance music most Saturdays until late and have big drunk arguments. They do turn off at 11 though. Out of all the things I have to annoy me in my estate, music isn't a priority.

Sure, it's fine if no-one outside your garden can hear it. No problem with that. If your neighbours could hear it, that'd be different, no?

(Already got high blood pressure, btw. Not caused by bad music, though. Oh, and my neighbours feel the way I do - it's nice and quiet round here, apart from the occasional sound of children being children. Really I shouldn't complain. But someone might move ... aargh!)

I think music in the garden (or house with open windows) is a bit like a party or BBQ, in that it's something that disturbs others so should only be done occasionally. As a neighbour listening to this, as a one off I'd let it go but if it became frequent or was going on from 9am to midnight I'd speak up.

Why not go and tell her that her music is far too loud?

If she doesn't turn it down then beat her at her own game. Bagpipe music is very annoying.

No, I don't think that's the reason. Nor, come to think of it, do I think it's OK for neighbouring children to screech at 7am and wake their neighbours. Surely nobody thinks that!

But the difference between the noise of children playing out on a summer's afternoon (acceptable if not too loud) and the noise of a neighbour's choice of music (not acceptable if at all audible) is an interesting one nevertheless.

I have given some thought to this, in fact. When I said in the earlier post that the difference may be 'structural', I had something in mind.

As follows. I wonder if you have ever wondered why people, almost universally, enjoy music of one sort or another? Long story short, but perhaps the reason is partly cognitive, in a way. Music, pure music, that is (word-free if you like) has a sort of difficult-to-pin-down (almost?) cognitive structure ... like 'something almost being said', I recall the pianist Simone Dinnerstein putting it a while back. (Others have said similar things.)

And, well, cutting the story short, it does seem that for at least some of us music-lovers, music tends to grab hold of a part of our mind that other noises don't. There's a kind of willy-nilly grab of our cognitive bits involved, if that makes sense.

Now add this willy-nilly grab to the fact that bad art has the tendency to drive out good. And that that bit of my cognitive space that is engaged rehearsing silently - oh, I dunno, the choral finale of Wachet auf ruft uns die Stimme or Goldberg variation 19, whatever (Or just having a rest, perhaps) - gets filled, against my will, by some shit from radio 2 or spotify, what have you. This is about as anoying as it can get. It's torture, in fact. I hate it.

This is probably a bit ott for MN AIBU. But, well, I wanted to make the point that listening to your choice of music may be torture to me in a way that listening to your children's laughter (yes, and even squeals) may not be.

Which, all being said, bolsters my point that, now you know, you should desist from possibly torturing those about you by forcing them to listen to music they didn't choose. ... Otherwise, you label yourself as a particularly selfish and horrible human being. (Which you probably are not, albeit you may have been ignorant of the harm you unwittingly have caused until now.)

Anyway, those who play music in their gardens, please, please stop doing this. Some of us are really quite badly affected by it, to our severe detriment.

Wow, calm down love, you'll get high blood pressure! I did say it was quiet not booming music. I put the speaker on when I'm in the summerhouse and fall asleep to it. I don't think you can even hear it outside of our garden, especially when there's other neighbourhood noise going on at the same time.

Hated this when I stayed in newbuilds

when it was good weather around 12pm the neighbour would put their music on. That was it. On untill sunset.
really annoying as somedays you just want to sit. I’d rather listen to kids play outside than someone’s music

another neighbour eventually said & they took the huff. Music stopped for a week but then resumed

I think any music shouldn’t be loud enough to disturb neighbours peace you can always wear headphones or play it indoors when you know people are out! It’s not fair to impose your music tastes on others - we all have our own tastes!

I sometimes like to listen to music in my garden if I’m doing something dull (like painting the fence).

However I’m considerate enough to wear my EarPods as I wouldn’t want to be disturbed by my neighbours music if I was reading a book or quietly relaxing.

New neighbours moved in with mother effing and jeffing at her husband and children. Music on loud (using Alexa to select tracks so I have felt like saying Alexa STFU over the fence). Kids scream and fight all day long if only mum home. Quietly play if Dad is there. We are not attached or even close ...probably 60 ft between her back door and mine and I can hear her insider my house. Other neighbours have suggested maybe Mum is deaf and can't hear very well... 🙄 I think she's just ignorant but I have been round and she has been quieter since.

It's a really entitled attitude to think music at a level others can hear is ok.

An odd party fine....but daily? Imagine if we all did it.

YANBU, lovely day last weekend, whilst cat sitting for DD I thought I would sit in her lovely little garden and do a bit of weeding.

Five minutes later noisy next door but one neighbour could be heard across two gardens saying “Alexa, play Magic Soul” and so the block of five houses had to listen to Magic Soul blasting through his open doors.

Fuck that, the cat has to come in and I went home,

@Nanny0gg and that's exactly why I don't feel guilty for having music playing softly while we have dinner. It's not booming out, it's civilised. Unlike my neighbour's kids.

Our neighbors do this but luckily they have great taste. It's always pretty chill background music or something interesting I haven't heard before.

It still irks me slightly but I know from experience it could be muuuuuch worse

Anyway YANBU

7am is too early and unreasonable.
Screeching is unnecessary and unreasonable.
So is other people's music

@gidabo so why is it ok that I have to be woken up by screeching kids at 7am then? Because that's just 'life noise?'

My music is my life noise.

it's so rude and inconsiderate, but people are horribly selfish and bad-mannered unfortunately.

Can you imagine if EVERY house decided to play loud music, and crank it up to cover the others noise? Of course normal people don't do that. The selfish few rely on the good-will of the others to get away with everything.

it's the same with bonfires, or the ridiculous"garden bars", or people having movie parties in the garden.

Anything that impacts on next door is unreasonable, but until people get a fine, which is too rare these days, they don't care.

No, it's not fine. Really it's not.

I enjoy music; it's one of the most important things in my life. But I would never impose my choice of music on others.

Of course children's noise, or other people's conversation is a different matter (differently structured, I suppose). Being forced to listen to someone else's choice of music, however, is torture.

(They tortured prisoners by making them listen to pop music in Guantanamo, did you know?)

You probably don't think of yourself as a bad person, but now you know the effect music forced on unwilling hearers can have, continuing to do so would mark you out as selfish and uncaring.

Please, please stop imposing your choice of music - at any volume, for any period - on others. Please. It's an awful, selfish, horrible thing to do. Please stop.

We have music on in our garden from time to time, like almost everyone I know. It's not loud, booming music and is usually just the radio played through the speaker. It's fine.

Provided it’s not too loud, not too late, not all the time, and/or not shit music, it’s fine! But then I love music on so I’m probably that annoying neighbour who has fairly quiet music on in the garden on a summers day from time to time!

Oh I forgot about the guy who plays shit talk radio all day long, with his windows open, loud enough for the whole street to hear.

We often have dinner in the garden when it's warm, with a bit of music on. Would be a bit weird if we both cracked out the airpods. Music at a reasonable volume isn't unreasonable in my opinion.