To think that not everyone has ADHD

Fair enough. But as with many other conditions, I suspect it's a spectrum, and that a genetic tendency can be switched on or exacerbated by the environment. After all, ADHD is the most heritable condition (my daughter has been diagnosed with it, and it's likely she got it from me, though I've not yet pursued a diagnosis). It's possible that without the stimulus of modern life, my daughter's ADHD might have not been triggered despite her genetics, or might have been much milder and less difficult for her to manage.

I am diagnosed and I genuinely struggle in so many ways. My friend did a quiz online after my diagnosis and diagnosed herself and most of our friendship group. They crack jokes about being the 'adhd' club... 'we've all got it' and give examples like i just cant sit down, im so chatty.
It really upsets me as they think its funny and think its being 'quirky' or a bit ditsy.
Yet they never mention symptoms like severe paralysis, extreme forgetfulness, brain fog, having 100 trains of thought at once and the dibilitating loud brain noise constantly.
The anxiety and inappropriateness of my actions causes me embrassment at times then ill over think it and get upset that i cant just function. I get so easily overwhelmed. I am really not able to keep up with basic stuff without struggling. I wonder how other people can keep a clean house as its honestly unbelievably difficult for me and i live alone. I lose everything. I miss mot dates on cars, bills are often paid late or not at all. I cannot budget.
They never mention this in the adhd club. More like 'oh im so adhd i put the tea in the coffee jar ha ha'.

Again, yes, but that is called VAST and not ADHD. ADHD symptoms need to have been observed in childhood ( mobile phones didn’t exist when I was a child).

From the book ADHD 2.0

@Redlarge i have, yes! I've got a couple of sets of loops, one's the Engage, and i can't recall the other, but i have the mute inserts as well.. life changing in loud environments. The only thing i struggle with is the internal head noise a bit, but hoping i'll adjust, its worth it for the background noise to be filtered out!

That isn't (or shouldn't be)how phonics learners are grouped. It should be very fluid depending on which discreet skills and phonic knowledge they have mastered so far.

If you can't see the difference in impact on a young child between using the language 'in the red group' and 'the slow readers' then you have a poor understanding of the impact of linguistic choices.
The main point is made is that I went on to become a become a higher attainer, get a first class degree in English from a good uni and have a good career.
Because I wasn't a poor reader. I had a poor attentian span, found early reader books deathly dull and didn't give off the social cues of a good reader. From diagnoses of siblings and my kids it's very likely I am ND. I am really lucky that my parents, who probably are also and 'got me, helped me learn in ways that suited me outside of school (own choice of books, lots of breaks, no need to sit up 'nicely', no need to finish if I wasn't enjoying it).
And I thought it was the ND community that allegedly struggle with empathy...

@Beetleback
I don't really think anything sounds unusual about your situation. How many people would be able to hold down a high powered job while also running a home and practicing perfect self care and tending to their kids?
The people who CAN do all that used to be the anomalies, they were called high achievers.

Personally I see two root causes to the "rise" in ADHD:

1. Screens and mobile Internet physically changing the way our brains work
2. Screens and mobile Internet reflecting back images of perfection ("nobody else has racing thoughts...I must be weird". "Nobody else eats beans out the tin slumped on the floor aged 50...I must not be coping").

I’m not sure being a slow-reader had the same horrors that it does now. Nowadays the children are grouped in exactly the same way but there is a weird attempt that fools no one to hide which group is which. Usually something in “code” like, Ants, Bees, caterpillars, or red, amber, green. It would be better imo to just say slow, medium fast or top middle bottom.

"Oi slowies" its your turn to read

The teacher actually used to say 'would the slow readers please stand up and follow Mrs x to the libarary'

And on that note, all these pesky wheelchair users just need to try harder to walk.
I mean, I once sprained my ankle, and trying hard worked for me, so it will work for them...

I shouldnt have laughed at that... cant believe they called it that.

I was in 'the slow readers group' in 1985 (actually called that!).
I also have a first class English degree and a successful career in SEND And education.

I can think of loads of kids I went to school with in the 80s who, with hindsight, were not naughty/weird/thick as they were labelled then, but clearly ND. I think your schoolmates must have been an anomaly. Or you weren't very observant. Or perhaps just want to chat shit.

And if you're going to have such a sickeningly twee username, at least pretend to embody it...

@Beetleback
I don't really think anything sounds unusual about your situation. How many people would be able to hold down a high powered job while also running a home and practicing perfect self care and tending to their kids?
The people who CAN do all that used to be the anomalies, they were called high achievers.

Personally I see two root causes to the "rise" in ADHD:

1. Screens and mobile Internet physically changing the way our brains work
2. Screens and mobile Internet reflecting back images of perfection ("nobody else has racing thoughts...I must be weird". "Nobody else eats beans out the tin slumped on the floor aged 50...I must not be coping").

When I were a lad ADHD hadn't been invented. People were 'highly strung' or 'suffering with their nerves'.

Ha ha I know right, all ADHD people do is try. Its really hard.
However some of the work i have done with my doctor has been maging time, compartmentalise tasks. Do the most difficult/hated task first. Use multiple alarms. Its helped a bit. But i cant always be that organised to function like this continuously. I wish i could. But i try.

@Beetleback
I don't really think anything sounds unusual about your situation. How many people would be able to hold down a high powered job while also running a home and practicing perfect self care and tending to their kids?
The people who CAN do all that used to be the anomalies, they were called high achievers.

Personally I see two root causes to the "rise" in ADHD:

1. Screens and mobile Internet physically changing the way our brains work
2. Screens and mobile Internet reflecting back images of perfection ("nobody else has racing thoughts...I must be weird". "Nobody else eats beans out the tin slumped on the floor aged 50...I must not be coping").

Has anyone seen that god awful couple on Tiktok. Shes got ADHD (apparently) and hes just an absolute tit. He talks to her like a baby and she acts like a stupid baby and has like weird hair and that and thier tik toks are all about her having ADHD, or basically running around like an absolute gobsite. Ergh they grate me.

See I have a theory that ND and NT is a 50/50 split. It's just for a long time it's not been recognised. My dad was caned at school for being disorganised, struggling with his working memory, not being academically able. His mother was almost certainly autistic, she was exceptionally clever and had a PhD (unusual for a woman in the 1920s), but she couldn't cope with people, couldn't cope with loud noise, ate a very limited diet, couldn't wear a lot of clothing as she felt uncomfortable in anything restrictive. Whilst my father had his basic needs met (food, clothing etc) he grew up with no love, one of my earliest memories was running up to my grandmother to give her a hug, and she froze, and gave an awkward pat, looking to my mother to remove said limpet! My dad was the same, he couldn't relate to people, he wasn't an easy man, or a particularly good father, he was a massive risk taker, but I'm absolutely sure he would have been diagnosed as ND had he been born today.
DD does have an ASD diagnosis, but she wouldn't have had it twenty or even ten years ago (she would have been written off as an academic failure, and that weird kid in the corner....how many of us went to school with kids written off in such a way?) It's crap, it makes life so fucking difficult, it's not a fucking superpower it's bloody soul destroying. She struggles so much, every. Fucking. Thing. Has to be planned in military precision, going out for a meal just doesn't happen, because her sensory issues make it another level of hell. I can't remember the last time I took her to a supermarket. As for school uniform dear god, when are schools going to allow soft stretchy clothing? And when are they going to understand that when her fidgeting becomes distracting to other class members they need to get her out of the f'ing classroom?
FML dd shouldn't have to go to school, she can't cope with it, and I wonder what the point is? She won't pass her GCSEs, her confidence is already on the floor, so you know let's just kick her some more and prove just how shit she is by forcing her to do exams....
Sorry I'm ranting, the thing is, dd is not alone, and the more we recognise the difficulties that ND causes, just maybe one day, we'll figure out a better education for these children, so they don't end up in prison or on the streets...because believe me, most of those people residing at HMP will be ND.
Someone upthread mentioned chaotic families, and how that can present as ND, thing is, there is a high chance that that chaotic family has a ND parent. But it's much easier to judge, scorn and blame than look for causes of chaos.
Of course not everyone who is neurodivergent is shit academically, and not everyone who is shit academically is ND, BUT if kids aren't academic why are we forcing them to fail? Why are we forcing them through a system they can not win? Why are we not looking at what they can achieve?
Oh and just one more thing ND is still not recognised in other cultures, and the use of discipline to enforce 'good' behaviour is not the answer...it really really isn't. The beatings my dad got didn't stop him being ND, but forcing him to 'fit in', did very serious damage.
It's obvious on this thread the people who don't have ND or a ND child, parenting a ND child is 10000000x more difficult than parenting a NT child, I have one of each and a NT child is easy peasy parenting.

ND isn't a competition, it's not some sort of label to be jealously guarded, or given away for free, it's not a about crap parenting, it's about a child or adult struggling to fit into a society built on social structures and academic success, both areas of which can adversely impact someone who is ND.

It's all about the drugs.

Now you get "I cam finally breathe again" or "I'm finally me".

No shit, you're on daily, intensive medication, and I think that's what most people are aiming for.

I think modern life has become so harsh on the soul that it has caused a lot of people to not be able to cope without a muffler.

It used to be called "the naughty table"
Or "the thick table"