To think that not everyone has ADHD

Whilst I am sympathetic to people who want to understand more about their mental health and the way their brains work, I do feel it's over-diagnosed now. I work in MH, mostly within the prison system, and I don't see a lot of these massively high achieving people who just realised they have always struggled, and can really only identify forgetfulness and disorganisation as a symptom.
I completely see that people want an answer to why they're struggling, why they feel like they're failing, why they're constantly on the back foot. It's because our lives were never meant to be this way. We were not designed to juggle full time work, life, parenting, friendship, relationships, exercise and wellbeing. We are constantly feeling the need to be present whilst simultaneously preparing for the next thing.
When people talk about wanting a diagnosis, I must admit I don't get it. My dd is on the waiting list for asd. The day she does or doesn't get that diagnosis, nothing will change. There's not a magical mental health service which pops up to help her. An EHCP is needs based so a diagnosis is irrelevant for that. What do people really hope to gain? Validation?

There is also a wee smattering of drawbridge syndrome… “oh, now, we got a diagnosis and it took 5 decades and involved us having to sell everything we owned plus a couple of kidneys, and all these Johnny come latelies think they can waltz in here with their private disgnoses”.

I totally accept that it is very hard to get a state funded, timely diagnosis, but that isn’t a reason to cast random aspersions on people who have either self-diagnosed after a lifetime of challenges or somehow found the money for a private appointment.

you should be much crosser than you are about the lack of access to state-funded help, rather than targeting those who’ve tried to sort things out for themselves.

i see both sides of this. I have a friend who claims their child is autistic, but refuses to get a diagnosis for them or even bring it up to the doctor as ‘it doesn’t affect the child too much’. Yet when her child does something she says ‘it’s because of their autism’. There is that stereotype of people blaming their child’s naughty behaviour on ADHD/autism (wether diagnosed or undiagnosed) rather than just admitting they’re ‘naughty’.

But I also think where ADHD and autism have more awareness in recent years - a lot of people are understanding the signs on what to look out for so I can’t blame people for questioning if they have it. I myself have questioned if I have autism or severe anxiety among other things - this is exactly it because the ‘symptoms’ overlap with other medical issues that you don’t know what is right.

I do think neurodivergent conditions are a lot more common than medical records and society are led to believe and that’s why in combination with the awareness and less ‘shame’ in recent years, a lot more people are able to get a diagnosis. But this also hinders genuine people who need a diagnosis but the NHS is blocked up with everyone thinking they have it. I have a family member (a child) who so obviously has ADHD, but the NHS has been so awful with giving him the help and support he needs because they’re so backlogged.

I find it is sometimes mentioned to excuse the behaviour as in 'they eat all the food? do they have adhd' they might or might not but doesn't mean they can't stop eating the food

Adhd (if they have it) may make them want to do it but they can be told no

People aren’t diagnosing though, they’re asking if the person has it, or if it’s been considered. That’s not the same as diagnosing.
A large minority of people are neurodivergent. It’s not hugely uncommon. That’s why it’s great there is such increased awareness of it so that instead of people struggling and falling through the cracks as they would’ve done in the past, they can now get support (although that’s not always straightforward to come by).

agree with all of this!

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@Doingtheboxerbeat totally agree

Many people who actually do have ADHD are probably undiagnosed.

Many people are newly aware of the behavioural manifestations of ADHD owing to media reportage.

Many people are looking for explanations or help for the problems their kids or they themselves are living with.

Some people can’t resist the daily mail rhetoric of “oh my gawd, what now, this would just have been considered eccentric in my day, political correctness and labeling theory gone maaad”

Simmer, stir and enjoy your explanation.

Whenever I see posts like this my mind automatically jumps to phrases such as "you can't say anything nowadays, it's all woke this ,woke that and I identify as a table cloth". It makes me think of the daily mail for some reason 🤔.

Ableist and judgemental.

That is a separate condition called VAST.

(From ADHD 2.0)

Yes, as the parent of a child who actually does have ADHD it can be frustrating. It's the self diagnosis- knowing that it can take many years of appointments, assessments, questionnaires, waiting lists etc to get a diagnosis, but people just decide they're going to 'label' themselves.

I also think it means less understanding for those that genuinely have ADHD, because people don't realise that's there's so much more to it than hyperactivity etc. Anxiety, hyper focus, sensory processing issues, sleep problems, depression, forgetfulness....

🙄

Sometimes I’m not sure where a personality ends and a disorder starts….

@hattie43 many parents of children with ASD can end up hugely isolated and struggle to find time or energy to see real life friends. Maybe that’s why they’re on mumsnet?

I'm surprised every MN child has autism .

I’m terms of neurodivergence being the “latest thing”, I’d say that’s because there’s been massive leap forwards in understanding and recognising it in recent years.

Adults who have lived their whole lives not understanding why they struggle the way they do are getting diagnosed and suddenly everything is seen in a new light. I see this as a good thing.

people saying silly things like “I’m a bit OCD” because they’re very clean or saying they have adhd when they don’t, yes that could be annoying.

I agree. Conditions become trendy. e.g. in the early 2000s, everyone had PTSD. A large percentage of referrals to our mental health team contained reference to it. Very few actually suffered with the condition. In the late 2000s, it had, perhaps surprisingly, moved onto Bi-polar disorder!

People aren’t diagnosing though, they’re asking if the person has it, or if it’s been considered. That’s not the same as diagnosing.
A large minority of people are neurodivergent. It’s not hugely uncommon. That’s why it’s great there is such increased awareness of it so that instead of people struggling and falling through the cracks as they would’ve done in the past, they can now get support (although that’s not always straightforward to come by).

I agree, neurodivergent seems to be the latest one… I’ve no idea wtf that actually means.

I agree with the armchair diagnosis, it's the same with ASD on MN (e.g. OP does something unusual - multiple posters diagnose autism).
I have both (been diagnosed for a long time), and think that a lot of genuine cases flew under the radar, so people with ADHD weren't being diagnosed when they should be.
I have noticed a rise in people deciding they have it too, though. Perhaps some do, but I have a friend who has decided that she has ADHD, and now literally everything she does is followed up by a mention of it. "Sorry I took a while to reply - ADHD brain! Oops forgot my car keys, thanks ADHD!" and so on.

Seems like it but this is a problem page sort of where I guess the subject of the posts might actually have an issue.
personally I’ve found my concentration has become really poor and I swear it’s from mobile phone use, the instant gratification of “think it, google it” and then you end up wondering why you’re googling it anyway.
It wouldn’t surprise me if the condition was on the up!

I have it.