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AIBU?

Share your dilemmas and get honest opinions from other Mumsnetters.

Just read the bloody uniform policy!!!

765 replies

flingoringo · 06/09/2023 15:10

I've just read an article about a school in Gateshead where lots of kids were sent home or out in isolation on day one of term because they were wearing the wrong shoes. The offending shoes seem to be mainly a Vivienne Westwood ballet flat (with a big silver VW emblem on the front) and a Nike walking boots. Lots of kids wearing the same, from yr7 to yr11.
Parents are up in arms, obviously. One mentions the CoL crisis so the need to scrimp and save to spend A HUNDRED QUID on the Nike shoes. One mum said her yr7 daughter won't be going back she's finding her a new school.

The school (taken over by an academy in 2019) says the policy is clear, plain black shoes with no logos. That they have done their best to help yr6 parents understand what was to be expected once on yr7.

Now I don't necessarily agree with schools being overly strict with uniform policy. But I do accept that I have to agree to follow the rules at the schools that I chose to send my kids to and if we chose not to then of course they'll be consequences.

AIBU to think it's it's completely ridiculous that this happens every bloody year?!

OP posts:
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FishyTree · 07/09/2023 15:03

@SocialistSally

I would take what you’re being told with a lunch if salt tbh. If a classroom is genuinely exceptionally warm, I can’t see a teacher refusing permission to remove a blazer.

I suspect the teacher actually felt the room temperature was not exceptionally warm enough to remove blazers, which is fair enough.

CecilyP · 07/09/2023 15:02

Some people obviously have a different interpretation of lots! That's a very sparse list.
Only 4 state secondaries in the whole of London. Most areas have none at all.

I don't, however, think the Scotland list is complete.

SocialistSally · 07/09/2023 15:00

FishyTree · 07/09/2023 12:43

@SocialistSally

Presumably they allowed blazers to be removed in very warm classrooms?

No they did not.

LadyBird1973 · 07/09/2023 14:59

So there's 3 schools in Scotland then Grin
Anyone know about Wales?
Most of those schools were in London, which isn't an option for most of us.

Besides, the majority don't object to uniform per se, only excessively picky and pointless rules, that have no basis in either safety or educational attainment.

midgemadgemodge · 07/09/2023 14:29

A quick google suggest 98% of uk secondary schools don't have uniform so there is little chance of having an option

However if you want to change this , ignoring the rules and getting your child sent home and missing education isn't the right approach . That's not putting your child first or at least valuing appearance over education

Annaishere · 07/09/2023 14:18

My sons school have a uniform but they’re allowed to wear trainers and hoodies over it. Only the 6th form students look properly smart

CecilyP · 07/09/2023 14:13

nonheme · 07/09/2023 13:04

I have lived in those countries without uniform - they have other rules. Uniform is one thing, a school can have any rule. It's just there to teach your children about the real world. There are rules in society we just don't walk around doing as we please.

There are lots of schools in the UK with a no uniform policy. People can attend if they feel that strongly. I don't see the big deal.

Are there? Whereabouts in the UK is that?

CecilyP · 07/09/2023 14:10

Pottedpalm · 07/09/2023 12:49

Smock as in ocergarment with sleeves, velcro at the back. You would still need clothes! Smock was only worn in school, and not all the time.

So is the uniform just for people to admire as they see your children going to and from school?

defi · 07/09/2023 13:45

My son’s school didn’t allow blazers off yesterday. It was 31 degrees here! I was too hot in shorts and t-shirt!

^ I bet the teachers were in sandals and summer appropriate clothing. Not a blazer in sight.

LolaSmiles · 07/09/2023 13:37

I have lived in those countries without uniform - they have other rules. Uniform is one thing, a school can have any rule. It's just there to teach your children about the real world. There are rules in society we just don't walk around doing as we please
This. They have rules and often a dress code.

Let's be honest, the foolish parents who give into pester power and buy their 11 year old obviously non-uniform shoes with huge designer logos on them are the sort of parents who'd equally be moaning about the dress code because it's their child's right to wear/do (insert something else here).

It's a lack of maturity on the parents' part.

I don't agree 100% with every rule at DC school or every rule at every school I've ever worked at, but part of being a mature adult is accepting that places have rules. Nowhere will be ideal for every child and family, so either accept the package and make the compromises or find a different package with compromises you're willing to make.

AwaaFaeHom · 07/09/2023 13:18

Where I used to live, there are 21 primary schools and 7 secondary schools with no uniform.

hylian · 07/09/2023 13:18

ZadocPDederick · 07/09/2023 08:46

This was a pre-school, FFS. It won't have hundreds of pupils, and they presumably have systems for organising things like coats, gloves, spare clothes etc. I would also hope that, if they allowed the children to play outside, they put hats on them given the amount of heat that gets lost through the head. If nursery teachers can't deal with discipline for under 5s, they have a real problem.

For older children, the argument that you should send your child to a different school simply doesn't work. In many areas it simply isn't possible and people don't have that choice.

Why do you think they did it then? Do you think that teacher was just on a power trip and enjoying randomly telling kids they had to do something for no reason whatsoever?

LadyBird1973 · 07/09/2023 13:10

It's bollocks to say there are lots of schools with a no uniform policy in the UK.
I have one secondary school in my home town - it has a uniform. As do the schools in the next 2 nearest towns.

nonheme · 07/09/2023 13:04

ZadocPDederick · 06/09/2023 16:21

And yet in countries with no school uniform tradition, people manage to cope fine with the real world despite not having had the benefit of having to dress up in hideous polyester at school.

Surely every school has much more sensible rules which give their pupils as much training in following them as they can conceivably need?

I have lived in those countries without uniform - they have other rules. Uniform is one thing, a school can have any rule. It's just there to teach your children about the real world. There are rules in society we just don't walk around doing as we please.

There are lots of schools in the UK with a no uniform policy. People can attend if they feel that strongly. I don't see the big deal.

Pottedpalm · 07/09/2023 12:49

CecilyP · 07/09/2023 10:32

So what was the point of a uniform if they were wearing a smock over it?

Smock as in ocergarment with sleeves, velcro at the back. You would still need clothes! Smock was only worn in school, and not all the time.

FishyTree · 07/09/2023 12:43

@SocialistSally

Presumably they allowed blazers to be removed in very warm classrooms?

Parker231 · 07/09/2023 12:39

SocialistSally · 07/09/2023 12:13

I’ve never heard of a ban on flip flops! I can wear flip flops (and have to the office). I often walk around. The office with no shoes on!

My son’s school didn’t allow blazers off yesterday. It was 31 degrees here! I was too hot in shorts and t-shirt!

I hope this was challenged on health grounds?

MariaVT65 · 07/09/2023 12:29

These rules about not allowing blazers and tights off in a heatwave are utterly ridiculous and just show that school rules should be challenged.

Syndulla · 07/09/2023 12:24

I absolutely agree that in this particular case there has been a failure on the part of the parent in terms of adherence to the uniform policy.

However, it's pretty clear that schools, particularly academies, are increasingly enforcing frankly ludicrous uniform policies. There was another school yesterday where children were sent home for not wearing tights with their skirts. In 30 degree heat.

School uniform should be practical, comfortable, and affordable.

My child isn't suddenly going to learn better because he has a pair of grey trousers with a logo embroidered onto them that cost three times more than the plain ones in Asda.

He isn't going to learn better because he has to wear a tie, in a world where ties are going the way of the dinosaurs. DH doesn't wear one, and he is a company director working in the tech industry. And why is the default uniform choice an item of clothing that is almost solely worn by men in the adult world. What message does that send to our girls?

Uniform should consist of trousers, skirts, shorts in warmer weather, polo shirts, and jumpers or cardigans with sensible shoes that protect feet in science lessons etc. Absolutely no need for anything else. Most of the rules are about imposing selection through the back door and I wish we had a government that clamped down in it.

SocialistSally · 07/09/2023 12:13

I’ve never heard of a ban on flip flops! I can wear flip flops (and have to the office). I often walk around. The office with no shoes on!

My son’s school didn’t allow blazers off yesterday. It was 31 degrees here! I was too hot in shorts and t-shirt!

StressedMumOf2Girls · 07/09/2023 11:45

ZadocPDederick · 06/09/2023 23:09

But it isn't real agreement if you didn't have a realistic choice, is it? It's not as if parents have a choice of non-uniform schools in most areas, nor is home schooling an available choice if you have to earn money to keep a roof over your head.

Which was my second point: life is full of compromises and sometimes, to be blunt, you have to suck it up and deal with things you don't like/want.

CecilyP · 07/09/2023 11:33

Spreadbed · 07/09/2023 10:48

That’s the wrong school.

Oh well, my post only applies to the school linked.

phoenixrosehere · 07/09/2023 11:28

HauntedPencil · 07/09/2023 11:09

Uniform or not there will always be the flashy ones - it'll be the bag or the coat or the PE trainers and VW ballet flats @ £100 are surely not common. And what kid would even recognise that?

Yes as is life. Kids do get to an age where they notice what people around them are wearing and with the internet and social media, there’s no hiding such differences anyway, uniform or not. They’re not in school all day nor do they have blinders on from school to home and vice versa. Besides, many people these days have no issue buying brands secondhand or more and plenty are not paying full price or even half that.

Having a quick search for £100 VW black flats and found two pairs on Vinted for under £35 including shipping.

PinkCherryBlossoms · 07/09/2023 11:23

MariaVT65 · 07/09/2023 11:19

Fine, it’s the way you are commenting about my posts though, but not directly to me. Clearly not all offices give a shit, I hold my hands up. But wow.

Hadn't even realised I didn't do the quote there tbh. But yeah, it's not the default for offices. I don't doubt the safety requirements may vary.

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