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AIBU?

Share your dilemmas and get honest opinions from other Mumsnetters.

Just read the bloody uniform policy!!!

765 replies

flingoringo · 06/09/2023 15:10

I've just read an article about a school in Gateshead where lots of kids were sent home or out in isolation on day one of term because they were wearing the wrong shoes. The offending shoes seem to be mainly a Vivienne Westwood ballet flat (with a big silver VW emblem on the front) and a Nike walking boots. Lots of kids wearing the same, from yr7 to yr11.
Parents are up in arms, obviously. One mentions the CoL crisis so the need to scrimp and save to spend A HUNDRED QUID on the Nike shoes. One mum said her yr7 daughter won't be going back she's finding her a new school.

The school (taken over by an academy in 2019) says the policy is clear, plain black shoes with no logos. That they have done their best to help yr6 parents understand what was to be expected once on yr7.

Now I don't necessarily agree with schools being overly strict with uniform policy. But I do accept that I have to agree to follow the rules at the schools that I chose to send my kids to and if we chose not to then of course they'll be consequences.

AIBU to think it's it's completely ridiculous that this happens every bloody year?!

OP posts:
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Nettie1964 · 07/09/2023 18:28

Maybe you would prefer a no uniform policy? It gets very expensive and competitive. Rules in school are to teach kids that all through life there are rules you have to abide by. Parents are pathetic now they back their kids up when they break school uniform policy.

pennyfest · 07/09/2023 18:11

I agree with uniforms but I don't see the point in the long lists of very specific rules. The focus should be on being presentable but comfortable.

DC's school say they're preparing the pupils for workwear- I know very few people who wear blazers/ suit jackets and ties for work- even teachers, ironically! I also don't know of any job that can insist that you buy your blazer or your skirt from one specific retailer only, with ridiculous prices and poor quality! Then there's the PE kit with a small coloured logo, of course you have to buy the correct colour for their 'team' which means it's far harder to pass on/ sell/ hand down to siblings.

user76541055773 · 07/09/2023 18:10

DistantSkye · 07/09/2023 15:20

James Gillespie's doesn't have a uniform. Not sure entirely about the primary but the secondary doesn't.

Apologies, my mistake.

It does technically have a uniform (I knew I had seen it in Stevensons), but apparently “it is only worn on formal occasions” … hence in reality, no uniform on a day to day basis.

Waitresstime · 07/09/2023 18:06

I think it’s ridiculous how every year , despite knowing the rules about the school uniform, parents choose to send their children in things that don’t conform to it . If you go to a school , you agree to their rules . This school seems to have a very reasonable rule not to have logos on shoes . And the schools is totally right to adhere to the rules otherwise there is really not long having any . If the parent doesn’t like the rules then they are free to change schools, otherwise just follow them.

H007 · 07/09/2023 18:06

It really isn’t hard is it, there are clear details on what is and isn’t acceptable in the school, everyone is issued it. In many ways I feel sorry for the kids as they’ve probably been shopping with their parents and their parents have said “they’ll do, it’s close enough, no one will notice” even though they have the list in front of them. Then it’s the kids who get the punishment. The reality is the parents should stand up to their kids wants and desires and say no you can’t wear those they don’t meet the policy.

LindaMo2 · 07/09/2023 18:05

That’s part of the point of a uniform. It allows the kids to rebel a bit and ‘get away with it’ by wearing compliant but not the usual uniform. That way they aren’t challenging things that actually matter.

phoenixrosehere · 07/09/2023 18:00

midgemadgemodge · 07/09/2023 16:22

You were never bullied for having the wrong clothes were you

You do know clothes are not the only things bullies will target right?

Skodacool · 07/09/2023 17:50

Zimunya · 06/09/2023 15:17

I agree, OP. Also, what example is that setting to the children on how to deal with disappointments and challenges? We need to teach our kids the correct way to challenge authority. Kids who are taught to disregard rules and just do what they want are unlikely to become functioning members of society. (Unless they want to be Conservative ministers, that is).

Precisely!

CecilyP · 07/09/2023 17:37

midgemadgemodge · 07/09/2023 17:03

European culture is different and the emphasis on clothes different

As is demonstrated clearly where we have people prioritising clothing choices over education.

I can’t see that the culture is that different. I’ve only seen kids going to school in Holland, Belgium and Spain and it’s hard to believe they have any sort of dress code either.

If British people are prioritising clothing choices over education, it’s because they have so little choice. If the kids are wearing the rest of the uniform but the wrong black shoes they’re not doing much prioritising either.

LolaSmiles · 07/09/2023 17:19

uniform policies are discriminatory and ableist so it’s hard to find any sympathy for schools who seek to enforce them. Admittedly designer shoes aren’t really an example of uniform unfairness, but a school that cares about a logo probably also isn’t making sure that students with additional needs have their clothing needs met.
I think you're being a little unfair there on the whole (though there are some schools that go too far in my opinion).

A school that cares about a (usually loud) minority refusing to follow simple instructions is likely to be wanting a calm environment where students can learn, rather than a chaotic environment where the culture is set by the gobby students and parents who don't value education.

It's not about school caring about a VW logo or any other logo, it's about them setting a culture where students are safe to learn and not where everyone is running around panicking because little Whatsherface is shouting about how she wouldn't dare wear school shoes and her mother is going to tell the world on Facebook that the school are awful for not letting Whatsherface stamp her feet and wear her silly designer shoes.

Every school I've worked in, all with different types of uniform and non-uniform, have had adaptions and adjustments for those pupils who need it.

enchantedsquirrelwood · 07/09/2023 17:06

MariaVT65 · 07/09/2023 12:29

These rules about not allowing blazers and tights off in a heatwave are utterly ridiculous and just show that school rules should be challenged.

I totally agree. I would have been having words with the head of year and writing to the governors if my child was affected.

midgemadgemodge · 07/09/2023 17:03

European culture is different and the emphasis on clothes different

As is demonstrated clearly where we have people prioritising clothing choices over education.

AllProperTeaIsTheft · 07/09/2023 16:56

I've been a teacher for 27 years. Uniform does not stop bullying. In the absence of bullying over own clothes, bullies will target kids for not having cool enough trainers, skirt length, bag, jewellery, phone, being a nerd, their weight, the way they talk... etc etc.

European schools have no uniform. As far as I'm aware, this doesn't make them have more of a bullying problem than UK schools.

PurpleMonkeys · 07/09/2023 16:53

Ponderingwindow · 07/09/2023 16:08

Do people really have full school choice though? Not everyone is surrounded by a variety of schools and not everyone gets a spot at a preferred school.

uniform policies are discriminatory and ableist so it’s hard to find any sympathy for schools who seek to enforce them. Admittedly designer shoes aren’t really an example of uniform unfairness, but a school that cares about a logo probably also isn’t making sure that students with additional needs have their clothing needs met.

It's application time for our area for starting secondary next year.

My 'choices'
1st school: 30 minute walk away. Uniform policy is logo blazer &logo pe shorts from just one shop in town.

2nd school: 55 minute walk away. Uniform policy is logo blazer & Logo Skirt & logo pe shorts from just one shop in town.

3rd School: 58 minute walk away. Uniform policy is logo blazer & logo pe shorts from just one shop in town.

4th school: 1hr 5minute walk away. Uniform policy is logo blazer & logo pe shorts & logo pe shirt from just one shop in town.

5th school: 1hr 15minute walk away. Uniform policy is logo blazer &logo pe shorts from just one shop in town.

6th School: 1hr 24minute walk away. Uniform policy is logo blazer from just one shop in town.

It doesn't feel like a choice to me. It feels like someone I don't know will.decide which school my.kid with be made to go to and whatever I or she thinks is tough shit. So whether I agree with the schools policies or not is hard mouldy cheese and if I want to bitch about it, do so on FB Local groups because no fucker else will give a shiny shit, certainly not anyone that could do anything about it.

"choice" go where someone else says, follow rules someone else sets or fuck off.

midgemadgemodge · 07/09/2023 16:22

Fireandflames666 · 07/09/2023 15:58

School uniforms should be abolished, it's controlling and Draconian bullpoop.

You were never bullied for having the wrong clothes were you

Ponderingwindow · 07/09/2023 16:08

Do people really have full school choice though? Not everyone is surrounded by a variety of schools and not everyone gets a spot at a preferred school.

uniform policies are discriminatory and ableist so it’s hard to find any sympathy for schools who seek to enforce them. Admittedly designer shoes aren’t really an example of uniform unfairness, but a school that cares about a logo probably also isn’t making sure that students with additional needs have their clothing needs met.

Fireandflames666 · 07/09/2023 15:58

School uniforms should be abolished, it's controlling and Draconian bullpoop.

phoenixrosehere · 07/09/2023 15:55

FishyTree · 07/09/2023 15:03

@SocialistSally

I would take what you’re being told with a lunch if salt tbh. If a classroom is genuinely exceptionally warm, I can’t see a teacher refusing permission to remove a blazer.

I suspect the teacher actually felt the room temperature was not exceptionally warm enough to remove blazers, which is fair enough.

I suspect the teacher actually felt the room temperature was not exceptionally warm enough to remove blazers, which is fair enough.

So how the teacher personally feels about temperature is fair to impose on students who may feel differently? Their body gets to dictate for everyone else in the classroom. That is not fair whatsoever.

Pottedpalm · 07/09/2023 15:30

CecilyP · 07/09/2023 14:10

So is the uniform just for people to admire as they see your children going to and from school?

I doubt anyone saw them. But I sense you have an agenda so I will leave it there.

PinkCherryBlossoms · 07/09/2023 15:27

Is there another link to that list, does anyone know? Not working for me. I know people are saying it's incorrect but would still be interested to read.

DistantSkye · 07/09/2023 15:20

user76541055773 · 07/09/2023 15:05

That list isn’t even accurate. Gillespie’s in Edinburgh certainly has a uniform.

James Gillespie's doesn't have a uniform. Not sure entirely about the primary but the secondary doesn't.

phoenixrosehere · 07/09/2023 15:09

Unfortunately a 40-50 minute commute one way for us to the closest one.

CecilyP · 07/09/2023 15:07

FishyTree · 07/09/2023 15:03

@SocialistSally

I would take what you’re being told with a lunch if salt tbh. If a classroom is genuinely exceptionally warm, I can’t see a teacher refusing permission to remove a blazer.

I suspect the teacher actually felt the room temperature was not exceptionally warm enough to remove blazers, which is fair enough.

Whereabouts in the UK can they possibly be today that a classroom temperature is not exceptionally warm enough to remove blazers?

I work in a windowless warehouse in the north of Scotland which is usually pretty cool but it is definitely still too warm to comfortably wear a blazer today!

SocialistSally · 07/09/2023 15:07

FishyTree · 07/09/2023 15:03

@SocialistSally

I would take what you’re being told with a lunch if salt tbh. If a classroom is genuinely exceptionally warm, I can’t see a teacher refusing permission to remove a blazer.

I suspect the teacher actually felt the room temperature was not exceptionally warm enough to remove blazers, which is fair enough.

I was a secondary school teacher for 15 years, I know that kids don’t always remember correctly. How we I also have friends that teach at his school. If they don’t follow the word of SLT on blazers, detentions etc they are pushed out.

My son is too anxious to ask to take it off. It is bonkers that they have to be taken off. I’d also seriously judge any workplace that made anyone wear a jacket and tie in this weather.

user76541055773 · 07/09/2023 15:05

That list isn’t even accurate. Gillespie’s in Edinburgh certainly has a uniform.