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AIBU?

Share your dilemmas and get honest opinions from other Mumsnetters.

Just read the bloody uniform policy!!!

765 replies

flingoringo · 06/09/2023 15:10

I've just read an article about a school in Gateshead where lots of kids were sent home or out in isolation on day one of term because they were wearing the wrong shoes. The offending shoes seem to be mainly a Vivienne Westwood ballet flat (with a big silver VW emblem on the front) and a Nike walking boots. Lots of kids wearing the same, from yr7 to yr11.
Parents are up in arms, obviously. One mentions the CoL crisis so the need to scrimp and save to spend A HUNDRED QUID on the Nike shoes. One mum said her yr7 daughter won't be going back she's finding her a new school.

The school (taken over by an academy in 2019) says the policy is clear, plain black shoes with no logos. That they have done their best to help yr6 parents understand what was to be expected once on yr7.

Now I don't necessarily agree with schools being overly strict with uniform policy. But I do accept that I have to agree to follow the rules at the schools that I chose to send my kids to and if we chose not to then of course they'll be consequences.

AIBU to think it's it's completely ridiculous that this happens every bloody year?!

OP posts:
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13
ElFupacabra · 06/09/2023 23:04

Uniform creates an equality among the students.

Does it bollocks. You can always tell the “poor” kids, blazers tatty due to being worn year on year or hand me downs, bobbly jumpers and tops because parents can’t afford to replace.

JenniferBooth · 06/09/2023 23:04

I get migraines if the office thermometer reaches 21C. If my school had made me keep a blazer on in this heat, I'd have spent more time in sick bay than in classes

Id have soaked my blouse in cold water and warn it sopping wet like i do with my tops in this shitty sauna of a flat.

Bet there is nothing in the rules that say the uniform has to be dry eh @FishyTree Why are you going by the fucking month instead of the actual temperature. Sadist much.

ZadocPDederick · 06/09/2023 23:01

And I strongly suspect that the people responding to that YouGov poll were not parents of current schoolchildren.

SoupDragon · 06/09/2023 23:01

I don't remember this much angst about uniform when I was at school. You wore it, whinged a little and got on with it.

When did children become such delicate little flowers that they need branded shoes etc in order to be happy at school.

ZadocPDederick · 06/09/2023 22:59

hylian · 06/09/2023 18:29

OK, but if you are going to have a uniform, which most schools in the UK do, then it doesn't make sense to allow logos and expensive branding.

Whether or not we should have uniform is a separate debate, but as I pointed out above, a YouGov survey from last year showed that 65% of British people are in favour of uniform in secondary schools.

If only schools didn't allow any logos, including their own. It still annoys me that that I had to pay £15 for school shirts for DS for the privilege of having a stupid logo embroidered on the pocket, when I could buy exactly the same shirts without a logo for £6.

Fortunately, the school never noticed when I just sewed the same pockets onto the non-uniform shirts I bought every time after the first term.

VitoCorleoneOfMNMafia · 06/09/2023 22:58

FishyTree · 06/09/2023 22:46

@NotAMug

It is September in the U.K. DC are hardly going to die from having to wear a blazer. If a particular classroom is exceptionally warm, permission can be given to remove blazers but otherwise full uniform should be expected.

We expect these kids to grow into independent adults, yet schools don't allow children to decide for themselves whether they are too hot? Madness.

I get migraines if the office thermometer reaches 21C. If my school had made me keep a blazer on in this heat, I'd have spent more time in sick bay than in classes.

DelphiniumBlue · 06/09/2023 22:58

midgemadgemodge · 06/09/2023 15:56

The counties I know with limited bullying and no uniform tend to be very socialist counties - less egotistic than the uk

I mean why should it mater what shoes you wear works both ways doesn't it ? If it doesn't matter then just wear the uniform

By refusing to wear the uniform you are making a statement that it matters to you what you wear on your feet beyond confront and practicality ( ballet flats !)

Spain, France, USA? Most of Europe don't wear uniform. I don't think I'd describe any of them as " very socialist" although maybe more so than UK.
Actually, I don't know about Scotland and Wales- do most kids wear uniform there?
FWIW I've worked in schools with strict uniform, uniform-lite, and no uniform. It doesn't seem to affect the behaviour and learning, or school cohesion and identity. I can't see the point in it. It's just another rule to get het up about, let children wear what is comfortable and appropriate, and focus on things that do matter.

teaandtoastwithmarmite · 06/09/2023 22:57

YABU. They're school shoes and they shouldn't be sending kids home for it. I once wore my trainers for a good couple of years and got my mum to say I had a blister. I appreciate the VW shoes were flimsy but as for the price tag. My DD has gone to school in £70 doc martens because they're sturdy and practical and last like no other shoes she's ever had

Chippy4me · 06/09/2023 22:56

How do Americans and Canadians in their millions learn to wear appropriate clothing?

How do American and Canadian schools cope?

I don’t think American schools are the best comparison, considering the amount of mass killings that occur from students that have been bullied.

Uniform creates an equality among the students.

This girl game in wearing £100 Vera wang shoes.
If there was no uniform, she would obviously be in head to toe of designer clothes.
She has money so she’ll instantly be popular and less likely to be subject to bullying.

Another student who comes from a single parent background for example, cannot afford £100 shoes and head to toe in designer clothes.
It would be obvious straight away to all their peers that they do not have the money to buy designer clothes and therefore become the victim of bullying.

There is already an issue with bullying in schools.
There is no need to create more.

As a teacher my absolute worst days were non uniform days because it causes so much anxiety for so many students and the bullies have a field day saying nasty things and making them feel insecure.

DistantSkye · 06/09/2023 22:54

I always comment on these threads to ask if anyone has any concrete data showing that very rigid uniform rules have proven to lead to less bullying and better results in England than in the majority of countries where they don't have uniform. Noone has ever produced anything! And yet the usual po faced replies defending England's mad rules continue.

I grew up not in the UK (mainland Europe). Didn't have a uniform and still managed to get a decent education and know how to dress as an adult! I now teach in Scotland where I, and the pupils I teach are allowed to wear trainers/DMs/comfy boots/sandals as appropriate, and funnily enough it doesn't affect their learning or my teaching! My own primary kids wear leggings or cycling shorts, plus a school polo shirt and trainers or boots depending on the weather. I'd find it totally ridiculous if the school sent them home for that and can't believe some posters are defending that kind of pathetic action by schools.

ZadocPDederick · 06/09/2023 22:54

Carpediemmakeitcount · 06/09/2023 18:16

What about workers in supermarkets who have to wear a uniform. Do you disagree with there uniform policy.

Obviously this is totally irrelevant. People don't have to work in supermarkets, they have to go to school, and they very frequently have no choice about which schools they go to. There is an obvious point to a uniform in a supermarket, i.e. so that people can tell who are customers and who are staff and can find staff members easily when they need to. There is no such point for school children. And supermarket uniforms are generally kept to the minimum necessary to achieve that - they don't impose rules about things like shoes, hairstyles and jewellery unless it's necessary for safety purposes.

Ruffpuff · 06/09/2023 22:52

What exactly is the issue with teenagers having some self-expression? It’s not like you get the chance once you’re working (depending on the career). It’s not to ensure that kids who can’t afford more expensive items don’t stand out- that’s a cheeky argument if the uniform it’s self isn’t subsidised.

FishyTree · 06/09/2023 22:46

@NotAMug

It is September in the U.K. DC are hardly going to die from having to wear a blazer. If a particular classroom is exceptionally warm, permission can be given to remove blazers but otherwise full uniform should be expected.

ZadocPDederick · 06/09/2023 22:46

Carpediemmakeitcount · 06/09/2023 18:02

Nothing stopping them getting changed into school shoes when they get there. They can leave their trainers in a locker. Thata what we done back in the day.

Lucky you having lockers. It certainly isn't in any way guaranteed in schools nowadays. Kids count themselves lucky if the roofs aren't falling in.

fairyfluf · 06/09/2023 22:42

Why are people spending 100s on Vivian Westwood shoez

mathanxiety · 06/09/2023 22:41

School is the place to learn you need to wear what you’re told. It helps make everyone equal, and is a good foundation for broader discipline.

Kool Aid...

How do Americans and Canadians in their millions learn to wear appropriate clothing?

How do American and Canadian schools cope?

What could schools in those countries possibly use as an alternative to magical clothing as a foundation for discipline?
Answer:

1 - The consent of the governed.
2 - Fairness in enforcement.
3 - Practicality and reasonableness of the rules around clothing.
Radical, I know...

ZadocPDederick · 06/09/2023 22:40

Chippy4me · 06/09/2023 17:48

My DD has autism and sensory issues and it can be a challenge finding uniform but I do not let her go to school in trainers or shoes with logos on, as that is deliberately breaking the rules.

What I find funny though and it used to happen regularly as a tutor, is that these parents say they can’t afford new shoes and have a go at you for it yet the shoes their kid is wearing are really expensive and I couldn’t afford to buy them.

Uniform is there for a reason.
I do think it should be flexible but only to a certain point.
If it’s no trainers then don’t wear trainers, if it’s no logos then don’t wear logos etc.

It’s very obvious why there are so many teens that are entitled and don’t follow the rules and it’s because of their parents who somehow think the rules don’t apply to them and their kid.

"Uniform is there for a reason".

What reason would that be? Why doesn't it apply in the majority of schools around the world?

ZadocPDederick · 06/09/2023 22:36

GraysPapaya · 06/09/2023 17:47

In the work place we have to follow rules, parents can’t look after precious little Jayden when he’s out in work and wants a wage.

School is the place to learn you need to wear what you’re told. It helps make everyone equal, and is a good foundation for broader discipline. I for one am glad of uniform and feel sorry for teachers having to deal with parents who are sometimes worse than the kids.

Whenever one of these threads comes up, people produce these arguments about needing uniform rules so people can cope in the workplace. And every time, someone asks them how come people in other countries where schools don't have uniform seem to have absolutely no problem in coping with work. And they never, ever answer.

Go on, @GraysPapaya, indulge us and provide an answer.

Isitthathardtobekind · 06/09/2023 22:35

Totally agree but many parents seem to want to go against schools rules as much as the children and then you see more and more children who feel they are entitled to do whatever they want.
Edit - I forgot to quote!

ZadocPDederick · 06/09/2023 22:31

Sueveneers · 06/09/2023 17:38

Thankfully much of civilised society doesn't have the low standards Canada and particularly America has. To me it's just more proof how tacky, trashy and low standards America is. It's nothing to boast about. It's something to be ashamed about.

Wow, the whole of America is tacky, trashy and has low standards? How do they manage to turn out all those Nobel Prize winners, all those great writers, artists and musicians, all those inventors?

No-one with any claim to basic standards of logical thinking could come up with such ludicrous generalisations.

NotAMug · 06/09/2023 22:23

Saw on FB today a few schools not even allowing kids to take their blazers off today, absolutely ridiculous, it was high 20s today.

ZadocPDederick · 06/09/2023 22:21

Itwasntmeguv · 06/09/2023 17:16

Someone in my village posted on FB yesterday that she has started up a petition to ban jewellery and hairstyle restrictions at our local school.

Her reason being that her 14 year old DD had her nose pierced a couple of weeks ago and can't take the stud out yet - first day of term and she was put into isolation as a result. Her Mum is outraged that her DD's right to express her individuality and personality is being stunted.

The amazing thing about this was the sheer number of people who have apparently signed this petition, or intend to. The ratio of those agreeing with her/not agreeing was about 80/40 in favour of the former. It beggars belief - are we basically teaching our adolescents that it's absolutely ok to ignore any rule about anything and that it's fine to just do your own thing? To me, it's not so much about the school's policies but rather the inference that it's fine to do just do your own thing. These teens are going to struggle in the working world if that's the case.

I know - I'm a pearl-clutching, dried-up miserable old hag who wants to spoil everyone's fun.......

I struggle to understand the problem with that. People in your village have signalled that most of them don't agree with these restrictions. Why should they have to? They are validly expressing an opinion and the school would do well to pay attention. If no-one could ever dissent from what goes on in the local school, we would still have corporal punishment and would be teaching creationism.

Surely it's entirely helpful for teenagers to learn that it's OK to question rules and dissent? Any good school will be teaching them about people like Galileo, Luther, the Pankhursts, Mandela, and I would certainly hope that they will not be teaching them that they were all irresponsible dissenters and rule-breakers.

VitoCorleoneOfMNMafia · 06/09/2023 22:18

FishyTree · 06/09/2023 21:45

The DC’s school has a very strict uniform policy and it is enforced. Smart black school shoes, blazer on at all times unless a classroom is exceptionally warm, top button done up, shirt tucked in.

DC who don’t comply are rightly sent home.

Uncomfortable clothing and being too hot are not conducive to learning.

PoshPineapple · 06/09/2023 22:14

kierenthecommunity · 06/09/2023 21:54

Next year get the Nike courts from Deichmans. Other than the little silver plate they look identical and they’re under half the price.

Half my son’s school seem to have them

You can buy the metal swoosh plates on Etsy for a couple of pound. I know because chavvy little middle-aged me bought some sparkly ones to replace the boring plain ones on her own AF1s 😄

mathanxiety · 06/09/2023 22:13

@Livinginanotherworld

If everyone stuck to the uniform list properly there would be no bullying and showing off with clothes and shoes, they’d all be wearing the same.

I think if you spent time in a country where uniforms are not worn you'd realise your mistake there. The fact is, wearing mufti all day every day of your school life completely nullifies the importance of brands and styles. Showing off with clothes and shoes just doesn't happen.

What required uniforms do is heighten the importance of standing out in tiny details, and magnify the idea of non-school clothing as forbidden fruit, desirable, exciting, and special, and therefore worth paying attention to and putting effort and expense into.

And FYI, bullies bully because the bullies have problems, not because their victims have cheap shoes.

It’s not really difficult is it ? God help all these little darlings in the real world of work ?

Again, a surprise is in order - young people all over the US and Canada and continental Europe who have lived their entire lives in mufti manage to turn up at work in whatever clothes are appropriate for their workplaces.