Unreasonable to want a baby at 43?

One of my friends had a baby naturally at 44/45, my sister had a baby naturally at 42,
A school friend had twins ( not sure if IVF or naturally) at 44.
Not too late to try at all if you really want one but start trying soon if you are.
Good luck either way!

If you want a child, I think you'd regret it if you didn't at least try.

This thread comes up on mumsnet every week, and it's ludicrous, because no-one can make that decision for you!

Personally, I would rather stick pins in my eyes and drink bleach than have a baby in my mid 40s and can't think of anything worse. Have had my kids in my mid 20s who have now grown up and left, and would never have had another in my mid 40s... But then again I guess you feel differently if you never had one and you're craving one.

Lots to think about for you though @Babyat43 . Toddler/infant at the age of nearly 50, freedom gone for 2 decades, 60 years old and kids still at school, life not your own for potentially a quarter century, (and even longer if the child has any kind of issues.) Child very possibly an orphan - or a carer - for a pensioner when they should be enjoying life at college and uni, and travelling and partying with friends.

I really. really don't understand why people want babies after 40.

JMO.

Had mine at 41 and 43 got pregnant immediately I tried for both, naturally. Had gestational diabetes, otherwise no issues over 40 more common than under near me.

Completely knackered but couldn't ask for two more beautiful babies. They are now 4 and 2.

I'd go for it if 43 and hadn't had a child. The risks are higher and the chances are lower but you can talk all of this through with the professionals. Good luck x

Friend got pregnant by accident at 41, gave birth at 42. So I think 43 is definitely possible.

If you want children and think that you can emotionally cope with trying and it not working out, I would try in your position.

My Granny had a baby at 43. Contraception failure. Go for it if you want to but be prepared for disappointment. I had 2 miscarriages in my twenties and they both hit me very hard. For that reason I couldn't consider ttc in my 40's because the chances of miscarriage or not getting pregnant at all are high and I know I couldn't cope with that.

My friend when I met her was 49 and had a 2 year old … her other sons were in University.

It’s never too late to do what you want, don’t listen to your mum, it’s not her life.

Hi op. I had a baby at 41 although she wasn't my first. Try but as others said, be realistic about your chances. 43 is old to be ttc and it may not work. There is also a much higher chance of miscarriage unfortunately. An acquaintance of mine was pregnant at 43 and miscarried at 22 weeks. No harm in trying though. Fertility varies greatly and some people may be still fertile in the early forties but others will be effectively infertile by that point.

Hi @Babyat43
You are definitely not being unreasonable for wanting a baby at 43! I had mine at 41 and 42. Go for it hun! xx ❤

From my experience (not directly but via three friends) Adoption is much, much harder than you might think.

Not unreasonable at all to want it - it’s your life. I had my 3rd child at 44 (3 months before I turned 45) naturally conceived, a very unexpected pregnancy, we weren’t trying for another - my older 2 were born in my late 30s so I didn’t have a huge age gap but before her I was completely convinced we were done. She’s 3 now and yes it’s tiring but I’m also in a great life position. I sometimes can’t quite believe it happened to me.

I had assumed OP was going to go straight to IVF given age, but if not, then you make a good point. It is unfortunately very unlikely to happen naturally in one’s mid-40s.

My daughter is now nearly 16 and i am 59. 18 & 20 year gap from my eldest two. Sailed through the pregnancy and birth. Love it!

There will be a lot of anecdotal evidence in the replies to support the idea that this is a common or likely thing to happen. But someone on another thread posted the stats, and in the UK only around 4-5% of live births are to mothers age 40+.

It is obviously worth a try, but I agree with PP, it’s probably wise not to get your hopes up.

Good luck. :)

I think happy either way is actually a very healthy attitude if you're ttc at 43. Worth trying but you won't be heartbroken if it doesn't work out.

Your life. Your body. Your choice.

And there's always adoption if you cant conceive

I have a partner who is happy either way.

Sorry, but that's not exactly a ringing endorsement. I would have a bit more hesitation with such a cavalier attitude. It's very, very easy to say you're "happy either way." Only try to have a baby if you are 100% willing and able to go it alone.

With IVF your chances are very, very slim. Under 5%. Without - totally depends on you and your partner’s fertility. There’s no harm trying.

I had mine naturally at 39 & 45 (conceived youngest at 44, arrived after my birthday, and after I'd had a fertility check up that told me that I only had a 1-2% chance of conceiving vs the 5% chance most my age had), but it took a few years of trying each time. Both turned out healthy. You're not being unreasonable to want a child at 43 at all, but it might not be easy. That said, some manage to conceive easily whatever their age, ultimately you don't know until you try. Good luck x

My 2 children are 19-21 both moved out im always gonna be a mum but i dont parent anymore . i love the freedom to go do what i want and travel its my time now.

I dont think i could do it all again at 43 sleepless nights tantrums and having a 15 year old in my 60s its alot to think of plus dealing with menopause .
No way .
My sister had her last baby at 40 her eldest child is 18 years old and the baby is now 3 years old i love him to bits but glad i can go home alone but she did say maybe her hormones played a big part of wanting a baby . She dont regret it but a part of me thinks she does .

But if you want a baby go for it you'll be fine loads of women have babies now in thire 40s .
Its when women are knocking on 50 i think please think this one over your be having a baby not your future carer .

As others have said, there is a low chance of getting pregnant either naturally or by IVF using your own eggs at 43 (stats for IVF are something like 1 in 12 full IVF rounds will be successful at that age), and if you do become pregnant there is a high risk of miscarriage/genetic defects. You'll hear success stories but these are outliers - the vast majority of women will unfortunately not be successful. Totally agree with the pp that the realistic option is to use a donor egg.

I'm 41 and would love another. But I have two healthy kids both born after 35. Plus I'm broke and a third would sink me... unless the government actually brought in free childcare... I had my daughter at 39. Conceived at 38 within 3 months . I can't see how I could now be infertile 3years larger. Women have been hahing babies until menopause for centuries. It's less likely but not impossible by any stretch of the imagination.