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AIBU?

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Original poster

Unreasonable to want a baby at 43?

260 replies

Babyat43 · 03/09/2023 20:35

I was recently at my Dr surgery for a routine blood test and got talking to the nurse. I said that I wish I had a child, and she said, it's not too late. She said it's possible I could get help with IVF etc.

Am I being unreasonable wanting a child at this age? My best friend thinks I should go for it. When I spoke to my mum, she said I'm just setting myself up for disappointment. I don't think she ever wanted me to have children. On the other hand, she begged my sister, the golden child, for grandchildren.

Can anyone advise me if they managed to get pregnant naturally at this age. I understand there might be more health concerns too.

OP posts:
Feetupteashot · 03/09/2023 20:50

You might be successful with a donor egg but unlikely otherwise. Good luck op

Dwappy · 03/09/2023 20:49

I'd say try. But be aware it might not happen. I've been trying for 3 years and I'm nearly 42. Have had 2 rounds of ivf that have both failed. They can't find a "reason" its not working other than my age.

DrMarshaFieldstone · 03/09/2023 20:46

Are you in a relationship? If so, what does your partner think? If not, would you use a sperm donor? Can you afford to fund IVF privately? You won't be eligible for NHS.

StarDolphins · 03/09/2023 20:45

I had my 1 DD at 42, happened within 3 months of deciding to try . I had no problems, midwife led. Go for it!

msmatcha · 03/09/2023 20:44

You should absolutely go for it, just be realistic in your expectations.

Vettrianofan · 03/09/2023 20:42

I can't imagine going through pregnancy at 43 but that's only because I will have a 19 yo by then.

Try if you want to, entirely your call. Good luck OP

KateyCuckoo · 03/09/2023 20:40

Do you have a partner?

MaryShelley1818 · 03/09/2023 20:40

I have two children, both conceived naturally, both healthy. I was 39 and 42 (nearly 43) when they were born. Best thing I ever did. ❤️

Oysterbabe · 03/09/2023 20:39

It's worth a try. You won't get ivf on the NHS though.

Switcher · 03/09/2023 20:37

No harm in trying really, as long as you can frame it as wanting to try rather than starting to think it'll definitely happen.