Expecting my husband to contribute more financially?

Yes @Palmtreesinwinter and prospective governments and current governments reinforce that it's a woman's problem.
government should lead on this instead of underlining that it's a woman's problem.

I would photo copy all his paper work showing the propertys he owns and then I would see a lawyer about a divorce. You can be sure he will try and hide stuff so you wont get a penny. Be smart and plan ahead. P.s he is really horrible and abusive by the sounds if it.

I am an old mum now but it is makes me so angry how women are still been trapped because they give birth or have lower paid jobs
The third child is so often the trap.
Do not give up work divorce first. Sorry if this is spoiling your time with your baby. Time he took some responsibility for his fathering.

Assemble photos on your phone of every piece of financial information you can.

Every pay slip, bank account, morgage information, shares, pensions, everything that you can access.

A forensic accountant would be a good call.
Get a recommendation for a solicitor.

Call Womens aid for advice.

By trying to force you to give up work, he is coercively controlling you.

This is a crime, a real crime.

You can report him to the police.
Getting advice is key.

Tell family and friends.

You'd be better off leaving him.

BTW, I'm in the exact same position as you in that I'm a teacher working 3 days per week. It's fucking horrendous. You must also be sacrificing your health trying to spin all of those plates - planning, marking, keeping up to date with changes in the school, housework, looking after young children etc. Nevermind adding financial abuse to the mix. What a selfish fucker your husband is.

What an unbelievably financially abusive prick he is.

Divorce him. Pay for a forensic accountant if needs be. Annihilate him, financially.

No, she wouldn’t. Not just like that. Financial orders are far more complex than that.

@Defeatedmum can you sit him down and have a look at ALL income, yours and his separately and at ALL outgoings, again separately.

Then look at it as combined household income... as he's into % and finance, you can then suggest a joint bills and household expenses account where each pays in their % to cover the bills and things like food for all and clothes for the DC and family days out. That's your family budget. Each should have acess to it.
If he’s difficult, make a financial case for your FT work and nursery costs.

This should then leave each of you with some pocket money to spend on yourselves.

This thread should be handed to women when they get fitted for an engagement ring. I'm so sick of hearing women talk anbout childcare etc as their financial problem. Two parents, two contributors. In a relationship with kids all money should be pooled till everyone has food, clothes, care and a roof over their head. Fine if some people want a pot outside that. But until everyone has the same standard of living... same pot. I hope you get the support you need OP

I'm not 100% sure of this, but if you divorced him would you be entitled to 50% of ALL of the properties? Plus child maintenance.

I haven’t read the whole thread so someone else might have said this, but start getting ALL the financial evidence you can of his earnings, business finances, amount he owes and gets from rent on his houses, all of it. Print/take copies and electronic copies and hide them at work/your parents or somewhere. He will try to hide or get rid of it all if/when you start divorce proceedings.

Oh God not another of these threads.

When will people stop this ridiculous 'my money'/'his money' bollocks when they are married? Does nobody know what marriage actually means?

OP, see a solicitor. Tell the solicitor that your husband is likely to try to minimise his income and assets if you divorce. If you can, get access to and take photos/make copies of anything which will demonstrate that he is hiding income and assets (as that's what he'll do when it comes to it).

Marriage is not a fluffy romantic thing - it's a legal contract which means that the participants can pretend all they like, but the money is legally all in the same pot.

Do you know the addresses of all the rental properties? First thing I would do is register a financial interest in them so you can't transfer ownership to anyone else without you being informed and blocking it.

This man has an interest in 5 properties, shares, earns £150K a year and already had a relationship with dodgy accountants. He’s also up to speed on the theory of hiding income to reduce impact to him of divorce.
And you think he needs a financial adviser? 🤣

Agree with last post. DC all girls probably not helping with misogynistic H.

If you leave your job you won't have any access to money at all.
I bet he's the sort of man who swans round in the finest clothes money can buy while you have holes in your shoes and have to justify every penny you ask for.

I don't think seeing a financial advisor with someone so secretive and their partner who apparently knows only a little about the family finances is going to fly...

You need to write down your estimated cost for the year and monthly for the household. Write down the total income earned by the two adults.
Eg £36k per annum estimated household expenditure, £120k from dad and £24k annual income from mum. Your income is 20% of his so the most you should contribute is 20% of what he contributes. The most unfair type of allocation will be to simply contribute an equal percentage into the household pot eg 30% of each adult's earning. This is because your parents are subsidising and not getting paid, you're likely doing most of the household chores eg shopping, cooking, cleaning etc which will require a full time nanny, cook, driver, househelp/cleaner etc not toention gestational carrier, wet nurse etc. You husband doesn't seem to see his wife and children as part of himself.
Really, he should contribute at least 40% of his income (£48k) and you can contribute 20% of that amount(£9600). This is proportionate to the incomes.

I would see a finacial advisor together.
You both need some guidance. You might be investing wisely but you need to have a common, viable, plan for building family wealth; a plan that you both understand.
The two of you are working extremely hard and you need to spend/save in the most beneficial way.

I really don't get the 'his money and my money' thing in a marriage. Marriage is a partnership, everything should be shared. You're both working so both of your monthly take home should be used for joint costs, of which childcare is one. You shouldn't be the sole person footing the nursery bill, the dc are his responsibility/cost too.

Definitely worth sticking it out in employment- besides career continuity- your pension is valuable. Unless your husband has offered to top-up your pension whilst you play house maiden? That’s if you even WANT to do this.

Don't quit your job but please don't say you are 'financially struggling' as a couple on nearly 200k a year and 5 houses 🙈 It may be very offensive to a single parent on a minimum wage job who's balancing all the same things as you.
You need to organise your couple finances better really. Can you get an advisor? I also agree your husband is being a bit financially controlling.

Get copies of all the financial information you can, leave them with a friend.

Divorce him.

If he wants to try and lie to a court about his income, that's his business. Have the evidence to catch him in the lie, it won't end well for him.

Abusive prick.

This is the most ridiculous thread I’ve ever read and I’m hoping it’s not real but I have a feeling it is.

You should not be financially struggling when he earns £120k a year and owns 4 houses.

You should not rely on your parents to give up their time to do childcare so you can save on childcare costs when he earns £120k a year and owns 4 houses.

He’s telling you to be a SAHP and then telling you to get another job?!
That doesn’t make sense.

He is at best cheating/planning to leave you and at worst financially abusing you.

He’s got 4 houses which will need to be spilt if you divorce him - you’d 100% be able to buy another property outright.

But you need to be very careful as I do believe he’d hide his earnings from you so for the next few weeks I would act as though everything is normal and get as much evidence of his income and assets as possible.

I would photocopy things like bank statements and house deeds or buy a new phone and take photos of it all and keep these as your mums.

I can’t help think that’s he’s the type that’s going to turn nasty if he thinks you’re going for a divorce.