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Original poster

My partner's uninvited guest has turned up 5 hours early...

581 replies

Cynicaltheorist · 31/08/2023 14:03

My partner is involved in organising an event tomorrow and was cornered into offering a bed tonight for a person who's coming fro a distance. He doesn't know this guy. There have been a number of increasingly infuriating phone calls about arrival times etc. This bloke seems chaotic and doesn't seem to be able to manage directions. I've been really, really busy for the last week and a guest was the last thing I needed. I insisted that this man doesn't arrive before my partner is home from work at 7pm, by which time I will (probably) have finished what I need to do and be in a fit state to host.

The guy has just phoned to say he's a few minutes from our home. He phoned my partner and my partner told him he can come straight here. I'm right in the middle of my work, I haven't had a shower this morning and the breakfast things are still all over the kitchen. I'm so angry with my partner. He's always doing things like this. This guy is going to arrive shortly, he's told me he hasn't had any lunch so presumably will expect me to make him a sandwich. Who the hell turns up five hours early? So bloody rude and entitled.

OP posts:
MuggleMe · 31/08/2023 15:00

Hopefully you sent him out. He can find something to do (including lunch and dinner) until after 7

HaPPy8 · 31/08/2023 14:59

Letting an unknown man in is not on. Your partner is the issue here. He needs to come home.

TheGander · 31/08/2023 14:59

My partner now DH did this early in the relationship. This guy turned up with a very hazy schedule and just expected 3 meals a day and did minimum to help around the flat. I think it was a sort of man to man loyalty, helping a friend out thing. The guy was a loser ( child abroad, no longer with girlfriend, could not afford to help with maintenance, no job etc etc). After a few days I read partner the riot act and made it clear fiend had to go, and wouldn’t be welcome again. That sorted it and prevented any repeats.

FoghornUnicorn · 31/08/2023 14:58

I’d be livid. No way would a strange man be coming into my house when I’m alone! Why would your partner think this is okay?! Doesn’t he care about your safety and comfort? When the man arrives I would just tell him he needs to amuse himself for five hours.

VickyEadieofThigh · 31/08/2023 14:58

The "he hasn't eaten" bit is quite remarkable - this bloke is a cheeky fucker extraordinaire.

Thepowerhouseofthecell · 31/08/2023 14:55

In this situation your partner should have at least said to give you an hour and let you know so you then had more than a few minutes notice.

I wouldn't want to have to shower and get dressed for the day with a strange man in my house.

Sweetpeasaremadeforbees · 31/08/2023 14:55

Get partner to phone/message now and say that actually; you can't accommodate him early, and give him a couple of suggestions of pubs/cafes/places he could go. Let him know any time between 7 - 8pm is fine to arrive.

Then deal with your wider partner problem later.

^ This. I would be fucking furious if my DH did this (he wouldn't because he's not a dickhead). Have you told him how much it annoys you (if he is always doing things like this) and he does it anyway?

LizzieLoO37 · 31/08/2023 14:54

This has made me so angry! How dare your OH put you in this position! Don't answer the door (you can say you were in a zoom meeting etc headphone in couldn't hear). He could be a right oddball and why should you use your time to entertain him?! Argh! Men just don't get it.

Bumcake · 31/08/2023 14:53

Bluetrews25 · 31/08/2023 14:50

This is another one of those occasions where men have No Idea what it is like to be a woman.

Walk down a dark alley?
Leave the car unlocked when paying for petrol?
Fall asleep in an uber?

Or let an unknown male into your home when you are alone?

Apart from the need to get everything clean/tidy/ready (why is this your job, OP?)

This is so true! Clueless.

Bumcake · 31/08/2023 14:53

Sorry, I edited as I thought OP had spoken to the stranger on the phone but now I’m not sure. Either way, I guess he’s there now as he was “minutes away”.

VickyEadieofThigh · 31/08/2023 14:52

StillOrSparklingMadam · 31/08/2023 14:11

Why on earth has your partner told an unknown man that it’s fine for him to go to your house while you are there alone? That’s the most immediate problem. You know nothing about the guy.

THIS. Absolutely out of order.

I would not be comfortable with letting this stranger in when I was there alone.

Cosycover · 31/08/2023 14:51

Well your partner better get home now.

I wouldn't be happy being home along with a strange man and I'm surprised he hasn't thought of that.

Jaichangecentfoisdenom · 31/08/2023 14:51

Oh, yes, I've just realised that, @Bumcake. She's well and truly stuffed, then. Gosh, I'd be furious with my partner in those circumstances. But I don't quite know what to suggest to the OP now.

Maddy70 · 31/08/2023 14:50

Sorry I missed that. Well then you need to say bring in a sandwich I sorry I won't be able to host as I'm working

Bluetrews25 · 31/08/2023 14:50

This is another one of those occasions where men have No Idea what it is like to be a woman.

Walk down a dark alley?
Leave the car unlocked when paying for petrol?
Fall asleep in an uber?

Or let an unknown male into your home when you are alone?

Apart from the need to get everything clean/tidy/ready (why is this your job, OP?)

gogomoto · 31/08/2023 14:50

Let him drop his bags and direct him to a cafe/pub/shops

PrincessScarlett · 31/08/2023 14:50

I'd be demanding that your DP comes home right now and deals with his house guest. I would then take myself off for a couple of nights to friends or family. How can you relax in your own home with a stranger?

Bumcake · 31/08/2023 14:49

Maddy70 · 31/08/2023 14:48

Get his number and call him. Tell him you are out but will be home around 7

Too late, he must be there by now.

Jaichangecentfoisdenom · 31/08/2023 14:48

Tell your partner to ring the guy back and tell him he's made a mistake, there's no-one able to let him into the house now, he'll have to come back for 7.00pm as planned. Because you're not able to let him into the house now, you have other things to do, so just don't answer the door.

Toonali8 · 31/08/2023 14:48

Your DH is being very disrespectful and the guest is a cheeky fucker. I would be out and leave it for your other half to sort

Maddy70 · 31/08/2023 14:48

Get his number and call him. Tell him you are out but will be home around 7

Bumcake · 31/08/2023 14:48

As you have taken his call I guess you have to answer the door now, but I’d do as others have suggested and point him at a cafe and tell him you’re busy until 7pm.

He sounds a right oddball, I’d be sleeping with one eye open to be honest.

hylian · 31/08/2023 14:46

GLORIAGloriarse · 31/08/2023 14:43

Well yes, he presumably set off early and then got in touch to ask if he could turn up early. That's ballsy. I can see how you'd turn up late entirely by accident but not early. He has been presumptuous.

Show quote history

It doesn't really matter. He asked, he didn't just turn up. OP's partner said yes. It's entirely his fault.

VesperLind · 31/08/2023 14:46

StillOrSparklingMadam · 31/08/2023 14:11

Why on earth has your partner told an unknown man that it’s fine for him to go to your house while you are there alone? That’s the most immediate problem. You know nothing about the guy.

Exactly this.

doroda · 31/08/2023 14:46

What on earth is wrong with your DP for thinking it's ok for a complete stranger to be in your home when he's not even there?!

I wouldn't be answering the door to this bloke and I would be telling your DP as much.