My partner's uninvited guest has turned up 5 hours early...

@EarringsandLipstick I don't know what the OP does but I work on very commercially confidential stuff. I can't have anyone overhearing what I'm talking about a lot of the time.

Also, he barged in while she was in a meeting. He had zero respect for her or her work.

This thread is beginning to remind me of that one recently where a bloke sent his naked children to disturb the OP while he knew she was delivering a presentation.

He could still have left early and amused himself until arriving at the time he’d managed to get the OP’s partner to agree to. But arriving early when he’d already pushed to be allowed to stay in the first place is beyond rude.

“ So he prioritised his own convenience over ours. “

That sums up the situation. Who plans to arrive Five Hours early just to avoid the traffic. Arrive an hour early, because the traffic was better than expected, fair enough, but not five hours.

I’m guessing three hundred hours would take five or six hours to drive. So he decided to leave early morning, rather than lunchtime.

I can't believe she told the guy to drop his bag, leave & go to the cinema!

But why can’t you believe this…?

The only person his earlier arrival wasn’t run by was the only person it impacted - the OP.

This man is a rude stranger. The issue was created by the OP’s partner.

The OP owes him nothing - not entry to her house and definitely not politeness.

And I say this as someone who’s very social, welcoming and up for hosting IRL.

You’ve got more of a backbone than your partner OP! Well done for your response, massively presumptuous of the guest to turn up early and massively presumptuous of your partner to assume you’d be happy about it. Enjoy your evening!

Why did him being in the spare room stop her working though?

I’m not sure why you’re getting such a hard time on here OP.

Yes he arrived early but it was your DH that was the CF who told him to go straight over knowing you were busy and not expecting him until later.

The only people posters should be being negative about is mostly your CF DH and also slightly less CF early guest.

(partner) was cornered into offering a bed tonight for a person who's coming from a distance

I'd love to know who did the cornering, the overnight guest or someone else involved in the event? It's very rude to inveigle an invitation and then arrive early. It's even ruder to arrive early, insist on going to bed and then ask for food.

I hope you have a fantastic meal out with your friend tonight OP.

OP I hope you finished work and fucked off out for a drink with a friend. I'd be bloody furious at the entitlement of the guest and the lack of respect from your partner...oh she can just deal with. JFC.

Have popcorn, waiting for update. I bet DP is late!

OP, you have done totally the right thing throughout. Hope you have a brilliant evening.

My main objection to this whole scenario is the way DP assumes that your job is in some way less important than his - of COURSE you can accommodate someone arriving 5 hours early, entertain and feed them.....

The uninvited guest is rude. 5 minutes early (acceptable), 5 hrs early - who does that? I would be seething at husband, and uninvited guest.

@Cynicaltheorist

He's always doing things like this.

So he's seriously inconsiderate of you often - I hope you tear him a new one for landing his equally inconsiderate man on you. Don't bother sugar coating your words.

Enjoy your time out with your friends later. 🌹

Presumably you vetted them first, had references, had a deposit. They are less likely to engage in shenanigans somewhere they are going to have to call home for months/years.

Did DH actually tell the guest that he could not arrive before 7pm in the first instance? Or did he not say that?

I don't want strangers rummaging through my fridge. Maybe close family and friends, but not something that I don't know.

@Cynicaltheorist I would have been equally livid.
I had male lodgers years ago- didn’t occur to me to be afraid of them- I’d just be annoyed at him turning up 5 hrs early and then expecting to be fed!
He sounds inconsiderate.
Have a good evening with your friend. :)

He was rude, yanbu

‘Hi X, I’m sorry to sound rude but we weren’t expecting you until later. I’m working. The kitchen is there and your room is there. I’m sure iou can sort yourself out, right?! Cheers’

I can't believe she told the guy to drop his bag, leave & go to the cinema!

But OP was working!

My thoughts exactly!

I can absolutely get OP being rightly angry with her DP.

I can't believe she told the guy to drop his bag, leave & go to the cinema!

But the guy asking for food was also very rude.

I agree it was no surprise to the guest that he arrived 5 hours early as this was 100% planned. He could have spoken to the DH before he left on his 300 mile journey which was presumably at 9am and checked if it would be ok.

My assumption is that he deliberately didn't do this in order to force DH's hand.

Wtaf he walked in asking for food when you had made it clear
This was an inconvenience
Suggested he go somewhere else
You're still working

I would have given him the postcode of your partner and told him he could entertain and feed him.

Did your partner leave his work to come home to be host to his uninvited guest @Cynicaltheorist considering said guest showed up 5 hours earlier than what you were expecting?

You let a rude unknown man to you walk all over you, he completely ignored your request to leave you own home and you did nothing.
You aren't a difficult woman at all.

@Quitelikeit

Sorry but I think you were downright rude to the stranger. It is not his fault that your partner invited him!

Did you miss this bit? OP isn't the rude one!

I greeted him coolly, said he could leave his stuff but I was busy working from home and he wasn't due until 7pm, so once he'd left his stuff perhaps he could find something to do/ somewhere to go for a few hours. There's a cinema complex a few miles away so I suggested he go there, have something to eat and see a film. He took his bag into the spare room and didn't come out again, so after 15 minutes I knocked. He said he was very tired after driving 300 miles and he just wanted to lie down. As he was already lying down on the bed I didn't have much choice.