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Original poster

My partner's uninvited guest has turned up 5 hours early...

581 replies

Cynicaltheorist · 31/08/2023 14:03

My partner is involved in organising an event tomorrow and was cornered into offering a bed tonight for a person who's coming fro a distance. He doesn't know this guy. There have been a number of increasingly infuriating phone calls about arrival times etc. This bloke seems chaotic and doesn't seem to be able to manage directions. I've been really, really busy for the last week and a guest was the last thing I needed. I insisted that this man doesn't arrive before my partner is home from work at 7pm, by which time I will (probably) have finished what I need to do and be in a fit state to host.

The guy has just phoned to say he's a few minutes from our home. He phoned my partner and my partner told him he can come straight here. I'm right in the middle of my work, I haven't had a shower this morning and the breakfast things are still all over the kitchen. I'm so angry with my partner. He's always doing things like this. This guy is going to arrive shortly, he's told me he hasn't had any lunch so presumably will expect me to make him a sandwich. Who the hell turns up five hours early? So bloody rude and entitled.

OP posts:
Sennelier1 · 31/08/2023 22:21

This guest is an adult and does not have any special needs? Then WHY can this man not go into town, buy himself a meal, spend some time browsing bookshops or whatever, and then turn up at your house at the exact time convened? He might even bring you a small bouquet to thank you for hosting him!

grumpycow1 · 31/08/2023 22:20

So you asked him to leave and he refused… what genuinely weird behaviour?! And to enter your space unannounced to ask for food. Don’t think I’ve ever heard of a more bizarre situation tbh. I would have screamed for him to get out and if he didn’t leave I would have called the police.

FlyingMonkeyNever · 31/08/2023 22:19

I would not have answered the door. It’s okay to not answer the door, if you do not want to. Maybe you wanted to? Anyway.

So, you answered the door and asked him to leave after he had put his bags down. Instead, this man ignored you and lay down on the bed, refused to leave and then went looking for you and interrupted you whilst you were working to ask for food!!! Incredulous!!!

This would not had happened, had you not answered the door.

I can’t believe a partner/DH would put their female partner in this position. This is ridiculous. You need to lay down the law and enforce boundaries with your partner. SMH.

girlswillbegirls · 31/08/2023 22:09

MummyJ36 · 31/08/2023 20:02

Lol the balls on someone to ask what there is for lunch when they’ve arrived 5 hours early 🤣

This is exactly what I thought. 😂
When I read he actually went into her home office to ask for lunch, my face went like this 😳

OP you are unbelievably polite. I do feel very sorry for you. I would be absolutly livid.

Enjoy tonight with your friend, you deserve it.💐

gettingolderbutcooler · 31/08/2023 21:56

Ah, the joys of getting older and not giving a fuck.
At my age I'd have met him at the door saying 'this is terribly rude of you. I'll take this bag for you but see you in 5 hours.'
Close door.
I'm just not very nice anymore.
And I don't care. 🤣

q109times · 31/08/2023 21:52

Unbelievably cheeky and rude.

id be angry with CF but much more so with so with DH…

MinnieTruck · 31/08/2023 21:47

People are so dramatic on here my God😂

Bleuuuughhh · 31/08/2023 21:40

Who do think who has killed who by now?

IncompleteSenten · 31/08/2023 21:33

I'd be bloody fuming at the cheeky git actually expecting you to stop everything to feed him!

AnneLovesGilbert · 31/08/2023 21:32

You’re busy clearing up the meal you made them aren’t you…

MixedRaceMuslim · 31/08/2023 21:31

I think your partner owes you a massive treat after this, make him pay!! Lol

Your guest was extremely rude and I think you were very accommodating.

I hope you have a lovely time with your friend.

QueenBitch666 · 31/08/2023 21:28

Cynicaltheorist · 31/08/2023 16:38

Please stop it with the put you at risk to the extent he literally invites a random man off the street in to your house nonsense.

This man is someone who is connected via colleagues of my partner's (he's not my boyfriend, we're not teenagers). He's not 'some random man off the street.' He's going to be running one element of a training event tomorrow.

Most women who are killed in their own homes are killed by people they know. This kind of scaremongering is really dangerous and can lead to women leading fearful lives, scared of venturing out.

That's my sympathy gone. Jeeeeze 🙄

Globules · 31/08/2023 21:16

I hope you've had a lovely evening out @Cynicaltheorist . How is/has your partner making/made amends? How did he react when you told him you were out tonight?

weirdoboelady · 31/08/2023 21:16

More to the point, did DP arrive home at 7pm? I wouldn't put it past him to be horribly late, given incidents to date!

ohsuzannah · 31/08/2023 21:06

Did you go out, OP?

CrazyArmadilloLady · 31/08/2023 20:43

Presumably he was made aware he wasn't to arrive till after 7?

Well, no, he wouldn’t have been.

I can cast-iron guarantee the OP’s feckless partner never actually told him he couldn’t arrive until after 7pm.

Jesseweneedtocook · 31/08/2023 20:38

Your partner is a total pushover for a)allowing a stranger to stay in his home overnight??! B) for saying he can arrive five hours early. The other guy is just a jerk. There's no way I'd have agreed to this random man staying overnight in my home.and I wouldn't have let him in. Presumably he was made aware he wasn't to arrive till after 7?

weirdoboelady · 31/08/2023 20:35

Greenpolkadot · 31/08/2023 20:26

I'm wondering what happened when OP's partner arrived home

you are not the only one. Hoping OP is now out on the town and outside a good few drinks and mid-excellent meal.

Greenpolkadot · 31/08/2023 20:26

I'm wondering what happened when OP's partner arrived home

BOOTS52PollyPrissyPants · 31/08/2023 20:22

Just read update that he asked you for food, why did he not stop somewhere and get himself something to eat. He should be bringing something for you for staying there. I am shocked as I would never do that and would have ate before arriving or treated the people am staying with to a takeaway or something. How difficult is it to stop for a meal, a sandwich etc. Unreal that your partner said it is ok for him to arrive but I would not have answered the door at all and he could rest in his bloodywell car and would have said had headset on with work calls. Enjoy your evening and try to relax and tell your partner that is never to happen again and if a guest arrives you do not know he has to be there or tell a stranger to stay in a b&b or hotel. The cheek of some people and him asking for food makes my blood boil.

Olika · 31/08/2023 20:21

I hope you are having a fab evening with your friend. Enjoy!

Clymene · 31/08/2023 20:18

EarringsandLipstick · 31/08/2023 19:52

@Clymene

Oh I agree. It's mental that the man thought any part of this was ok (staying with a stranger, coming early, interrupting OP).

But the fault lies squarely with OP's DP who has been massively disrespectful.

Yes, I agree.

Phew!

IamnotSethRogan · 31/08/2023 20:15

While I can understand why you're annoyed at your partner, it sound like he was put in an awkward situation, and maybe didn't handle it in the best way but it's often tricky to fave such Cheeky fuckery.

The absolute fucking cheek to arrive 5 hours early, ignore your requests to leave while you're working and then demand something to eat.

BOOTS52PollyPrissyPants · 31/08/2023 20:09

I would not have a strange man in my house that I do not know unless my adult son here. I would ring partner and tell him to contact man immediately and tell him to meet him or tell him to go to a pub or cafe and he will meet him when he is finished work. Finish your work and get yourself sorted and try not to stress yourself as not fair for ou to be put in that position at all. If this is a grown man surely to god he can entertain himself for a bit instead of arriving hours earlier. I would not answer the door and would tell partner to contact him as you are working and need a shower and do not want to do that when he is there. You are doing this person a favour so he should respect your boundaries.

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