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AIBU?

Share your dilemmas and get honest opinions from other Mumsnetters.

DP didn't come home last night

208 replies

sundaysareafunday · 27/08/2023 09:35

DP went out last night, absolutely fine, he would normally be back midnightish but know this can be sometimes like 3 when him and his friends have a good time and end up at a club. I don't sleep great when he is out as I'm sort of waiting for him to come in and aware he hasn't. Called a couple of times at around 3.30 and he called back shortly after, said he was fine they'd all gone back to a friends house and he'd be home shortly. He messaged at 5.30 to say sorry he'd fell asleep, back shortly. It's now 9.30 and still not back. I assume he's fine and managed to get a lot more sleep than me, I feel like I haven't slept at all. I don't think there's any funny business happened and he is just on a friends sofa. We have lunch out today booked with some of his family though, AIBU to now not go, I feel and look horrendous and slightly peeved at his selfishness as I'm nearly 20 weeks pregnant and he knows how I worry if he stays out all night, luckily it's only ever happened once before.

OP posts:
Nemesias · 27/08/2023 09:47

Very childish of you to punish him by not going out for lunch

Mamette · 27/08/2023 09:46

I would just go to the lunch. But when he comes back say, “look- you’ve messed me around here, I had no sleep, you could have just said you were staying over at Dave’s”.

Realistically his days of doing this are about to come to an end once the baby arrives.

KimberleyClark · 27/08/2023 09:46

Shitty of him.

AnneLovesGilbert · 27/08/2023 09:46

Not going to lunch sounds like an attempt to punish him for going out with his friends. It’s only 9:45, you did get some sleep, you’ve got plenty of time to lie in bed and rest, have a shower and get ready. It’s not the fault of the people you’re meant to be meeting.

OldEvilOwl · 27/08/2023 09:44

Maybe when he goes out he could arrange to stay at a friends and come back in the morning? Then your not waiting for him to come back, or getting woken up by him coming in drunk

Pinkdelight3 · 27/08/2023 09:42

Why didn't he just say he was staying at his mates, either in advance, at 3.30 or at 5.30? Ridiculous of him to keep you hanging when he could've easily said at midnight, you go to sleep, I'm staying out, see you in the morning.

CattyCattle · 27/08/2023 09:39

I think you'll be massively overreacting to not go for lunch because he stayed at his mates.

How did you manage to sleep before you met him and then lived with him?

rand0mstuff · 27/08/2023 09:39

I think it's really shitty not coming home Does he have a form for this sort of stuff?

Your level of anxiety when he is out is definitely not normal esp as he has been in touch a few times.

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