DP didn't come home last night

Whether that’s the case in your relationship or not doesn’t make what I said anything less true. What is acceptable for men, often isn’t for women.

If his group of pals go back to each others houses lots then it would make sense. If this is random then I would be wondering where he was especially as he came home not tired and well rested - not exactly a normal way to be after an all nighter. That aside, telling you he was coming home and not turning up was terrible behaviour and you should be pissed with him. I would not be happy if my partner told me he was on way home and did not arrive.

YANBU… quite inconsiderate of him to not just say he was going to sleep where he was when you called at 3.30am, it would have been the best thing to do at that time of the morning anyway, especially knowing that you get anxious & can’t sleep properly if he is out until the wee hours.
Your anxiety will be heightened right now as your hormones will be all over the place thanks to pregnancy so you may be feeling it a bit stronger at the moment too.
Going forward just ask him to be a bit more considerate of you & try to plan a bit better when he is going out & the night is getting long. It isn’t a massive ask of him at all.

Glad you went out for the meal, despite being tired. You could think of it as a test run for when baby is here & you’re sleep deprived because of them 😝

This

I’d be furious. I think missing the lunch would be totally reasonable.

It’s quite clear to me from the OP’s posts, that she isn’t being kept awake through worrying about her DH’s welfare, but more the anxiety of being woken up.

And her DH, could’ve just agreed to stay at his mates house once he got there and let her know. Rather than telling her twice that he was coming home soon.

At the core of this is a lack of respect and consideration. Being 20 weeks pregnant and not getting any sleep due to being kept up all night with worry is a very valid reason for not going to lunch and I would blame him for this as if he’d been more considerate and let you know in the first place then you would probably have had a decent nights sleep. It’s selfish and immature to not appreciate your feelings particularly as you are going through a pregnancy with his child and do not need the stress. You need to let him know that this is not acceptable. You do not want a repeat of this otherwise you may have to reconsider the relationship. Relationships are built on love and a mutual understanding and respect for each other so this needs to be addressed. If something is affecting you, speak out, don’t feel as though you and your unborn baby don’t deserve to be treated considerately, respect yourself and be clear as to how you expect to be treated!!

I had a boyfriend who did this many years ago. Only once he didn’t come home but stayed out all night with “friends” and then said he’d slept under his desk at the office. It transpired many years later he was having an affair. I’d be really suspicious.

If my partner was posting on this imaginary board, he'd support my right to do what I choose.

And I would support him also. Although I'm far more likely to stay out than him.

There'd be precisely zero.

And there's not even an equivalent of him feeling vulnerable, pregnant and unable to party.

I always wonder how these sort of posts would go if roles were reversed and it was posted on a predominantly male forum. I doubt there would be as many men supporting the wife/girlfriend’s right to pull an all-nighter and not come home at the last minute.

Very much sounds like a dr*g fuelled night, sorry to say.

I totally get what you mean about lack of sleep. My now ex h used to stay up gaming at night. I’d go to bed and he would say he would be up shortly. I’d only half sleep or sleep lightly as I’m expecting to be disturbed but some nights I’d wake from my doze at like 5 am and he’d be still playing downstairs. Then he’d come up and fall asleep til really late but I’d be up with the kids from 6/7. Sometimes similar happened when he went out with the lads. I’ll be home at x time. You’d kind of not sleep properly and as it gets later you start to wonder. I recall getting a call to pick him up one morning from a hotel, very much hungover and drove us straight to a national trust property and made him play with the toddler whilst I rested on the benches pregnant. I sleep much better now im single.

Yes they're allowed a life but once committed to someone and a baby on the way one should be considerate. For example, 'I'm staying at my pals I'll be back 10am ish' or 'I'll get a taxi back so be in in 2am ish'. It isn't ok to give a running commentary during the night on when you may return and then don't.

Hang on !!
Are people not allowed a life when they have a baby??
Are people not allowed out after having a baby??

OP
you’re being very unreasonable
I sleep better when my husband is out and I’ve got the bed to myself 🤣🤣

Bold of you to assume that.

No the edit was actually to add in the words to the OP!

Indeed.

I wasn’t meaning this poster. I was referencing the number threads you see on here from women whose husbands/partners behave as if they are still single men after having children.

Yes that's exactly the same as texting your partner at 5am to say you're on the way...and then arriving five hours later.

There is actually a middle ground between have no social life and treating your home like a hotel.

I hope if I texted my partner at 5 to say I'm on my way and then didn't show up for six hours he'd... I don't know, notice? Give a fuck?

@anyolddinosaur the occasional all nighter doesn't matter, for either parent, as long as everyone's happy & it's all fair. Social life & letting your hair down doesn't have to completely stop when you have a baby you know.
I went to a school reunion when my ds was 3 weeks old & got in at 2am. Shame on me!
I still go to Goth nights occasionally as there is such a diverse age range. I stay out ever so late, guess I'm still too immature at 57 to have a grandson or my dc?

@Coffeetree ha! Love "crusty son".
Every week some poor lass with very low standards, its quite sad. I'm sort of hoping its made up. No way to live.

It's not being a cool wife to go to bed when your dh is out and be able to go to sleep. It's pretty normal and a healthy relationship without controlling people through anxiety.

Cool edit to get the 'Stepford Wives' in while not realising what website you are actually on

Yup