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AIBU?

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Original poster

Husband going on holiday without me and 4 month old

66 replies

AdrianeMole · 25/08/2023 19:14

AIBU that I'm feeling a bit upset about this, it's a week, long haul, no family support nearby. It's not like I'll be able to do the same anytime soon, because I'm looking after the baby.

OP posts:
BIossomtoes · 25/08/2023 21:46

rookiemere · 25/08/2023 19:49

And having a DH working away is hugely different from one choosing to go away with his mates on a holiday.

It isn’t really. Either way he’s not there.

SouthLondonMum22 · 25/08/2023 21:44

MaryShelley1818 · 25/08/2023 21:39

I left DH and 5mth old DS for 4 days to go to Spain for my 40th.

You're still a family if you choose to be independent adults who also exist outside the family home.

DS is now almost 6 and I've been abroad twice without him so not a regular thing but lovely memories all the same. DD is 2 and I've had a few nights away from her in this country.

Exactly.

I had a weekend away when mine was 6 months.

If someone doesn't want to, that's fine but parents are also allowed to have a life outside of parenting.

MaryShelley1818 · 25/08/2023 21:39

I left DH and 5mth old DS for 4 days to go to Spain for my 40th.

You're still a family if you choose to be independent adults who also exist outside the family home.

DS is now almost 6 and I've been abroad twice without him so not a regular thing but lovely memories all the same. DD is 2 and I've had a few nights away from her in this country.

Cowlover89 · 25/08/2023 21:37

Wouldn't bother me.

FoodFann · 25/08/2023 21:32

Absolutely not. You’re supposed to be a family, together. Why on earth would he want to leave his family for a trip to a third world country with his mates? Is he 16?! 🙄

Original poster
AdrianeMole · 25/08/2023 21:17

I guess I'm a bit sore that we haven't had any holidays together in ages, ivf, pregnancy, covid etc and that I couldn't or wouldn't do the same

OP posts:
Adelaff · 25/08/2023 21:02

I would probably have a grumble at the inconvenience but ultimately wouldn't be too bothered if my husband did this. Baby is young enough that I could totally do things for myself that I enjoy that I probably wouldn't do if husband was around.

I wouldn't feel hard done by that I can't go on the same kind of solo venture (which I couldn't as BFing). Is part of the reason you're feeling cross because you feel it's unfair that he can do things you can't?

MzHz · 25/08/2023 20:55

You can do this @AdrianeMole

my ds dad went abroad when DS was about 4m old. Tbh it was the making of me/ds. We got into a routine without worrying about if his dad would be woken up etc etc)

ex was abusive tho, but if i can do it, you can - it’s just a holiday

Trenchfootinthescottishhighlandstoday · 25/08/2023 20:27

A week is hardly abandonment territory..

Thelonelygiraffe · 25/08/2023 20:22

When did he book it?!

Did you say no/express reservations at the time?

I wouldn't be happy at all.

GCWorkNightmare · 25/08/2023 20:18

Lilolilibet · 25/08/2023 20:12

This is an obnoxious post.

Show quote history

Why? I’m trying to give the OP some perspective here. A week away is literally nothing if he’s usually around!

GCWorkNightmare · 25/08/2023 20:17

rookiemere · 25/08/2023 19:49

And having a DH working away is hugely different from one choosing to go away with his mates on a holiday.

Yes. It’s every week. In our case for 18 months. I’d have jumped at the opportunity to have him only away for 1/78 weeks.

SecondhandSalute · 25/08/2023 20:16

Spacecowboys · 25/08/2023 19:45

I would be fine with this - as long as he normally does his fair share and you also have the opportunity to enjoy time away with friends.

This. I can manage anything for a week, it will be good to have one parent rested and refreshed, and I’ve certainly gone away myself and left DH solo with young DS.

howdoesyourgardengrowinmay · 25/08/2023 20:16

Lilolilibet · 25/08/2023 20:12

This is an obnoxious post.

Show quote history

Settle down dear, you're overreacting.

SuperiorM · 25/08/2023 20:15

My DH travels for work a lot and has always done. However, he would never have taken a holiday when DC was a baby or small child

Lilolilibet · 25/08/2023 20:12

GCWorkNightmare · 25/08/2023 19:25

DH was away working 5.5 days a week when DD was that age anyway. No family help within thousands of miles.

I took DD long haul at 4.5 months old without DH. 🤷🏻‍♀️

This is an obnoxious post.

dizzydizzydizzy · 25/08/2023 20:11

I would be fine with it as long as I
Could do the same.

I would enjoy having the house to myself.

aperolspritzbasicbitch · 25/08/2023 20:07

I'd be absolutely fine with it, as long as when the time comes he is happy to hold the fort at home whilst you go away.

My partner has been on weekends/long weekends/week long holidays.

My children are older than yours, and I've not been away for more than 2 nights as that is my personal preference - but if I wanted a week away then support would absolutely be there.

I take issue with separate holidays if a) the same time/budget isn't available to the other parent or b) it prevents breaks taken as a family.

4 months in there is normally some kind of routine, and a week would fly by.

arethereanyleftatall · 25/08/2023 20:06

Ah - I saw it was. Sorry, should have rtft.

Anyway - I'd be fine with this op...on the proviso that you get to do the same as soon as your baby stops being breast fed should you wish.

HauntedPencil · 25/08/2023 20:05

We have regular breaks alone with friends as we have no family to have them for overnights and take maybe 4 nights each once a year and it's really great to get that break we wouldn't otherwise.

Yes, I am human.

arethereanyleftatall · 25/08/2023 19:58

This reply has been deleted

This message has been withdrawn at the poster's request

Genuinely - is this a joke? I really can't work it out.

coxesorangepippin · 25/08/2023 19:58

Er, no.

cinnamonfrenchtoast · 25/08/2023 19:54

How long has the holiday been planned for?

My mum took me to the other side of the world when I was three months old (to visit family and friends) while my dad stayed behind to work. She managed fine and so did he.

I don't think it's an issue providing he steps up the rest of the time.

Spirallingdownwards · 25/08/2023 19:54

I wouldn't have a problem with it, but it's each to their own and if you do then it's a conversation you should be having. If you already have had what is it that you feel you can't cope with for such a short period?

Trenchfootinthescottishhighlandstoday · 25/08/2023 19:53

It's 1 week.
You have 1 dc...
Enjoy the peace imo.