To ask you - what's the fastest you've gone "f*** this" to a job

Before I'd even had the interview really.
It was for a crappy post-uni call centre job intended to tide me over.
I'd done similar throughout my time at uni. Got
In and a supervisor was actually screaming and swearing at a group of staff.
I stayed long enough to tell the interviewer that no, that's not how you motivate people.

Got booted out of the interview for saying so.

I had really bad vibes in the interview but took the contract as desperate. The commute on a Monday morning was hell and I just left. Didn't even get through the door! My DB got a job there a couple of years later and did exactly the same thing as me but didn't even bother to park 😂

I spent one morning of a two week work experience in an infants/junior school when I was 16 because I thought I wanted to train to be a teacher. it was absolutely awful. I hated it with a passion. so many kids unable to do as they were told, shouting, running around and generally being naughty. It made me realise that I should never ever become a teacher or look after other peoples children. which in itself was really useful because it stopped me making a massive career mistake. i became an Environmental Health Officer instead.

Parked in car park morning of Day One...decided No - fuck this and drove home.

Lasted til day lunchtime on my first day when I was in my twenties. Just walked out! Oops!

Oooooh... I went to an interview that sounds realllllly similar... it was in a unit next door to where my band practiced, so I'd seen 'hiring now' signs outside.

Despite being a very naive 17/18, I thought this call centre looked... odd, very scruffy, set up on a shoe string, wires everywhere, mismatched chairs and desks etc, no company branding anywhere.

We were given a script and told we were doing training calls but like someone else said up thread, it rapidly became obvious these were live calls and that what people thought we were selling is not what we were actually selling. I forget what it was, but similarly, the script made it sound like we were from a well known company, but we could not actually say the name...

I did a bunk on our lunchbreak and I noticed 3 weeks later, that unit was totally empty!

@Weston14 @WeAreAllLionesses At least it was all from the other side of a screen... but still, there isn't enough mind-bleach in the world either!

Waitressing in a restaurant when I was a student. The owner was a lech, kept saying how glad he was to have someone young and pretty working at the restaurant <vomit> and kept trying to force me to get a lift home from him. I had to practically run out the door at the end of my shift to get away and I never went back.

On a more professional-career level - this year! I left a long term role in December and started a new role in January. Handed in my notice in February. I just realised very quickly I wasn’t going to be happy there - long commute, boss with poor boundaries, expectations of my commitment and time too high for the salary. Managed to get a new job almost straight away <thank fuck> and so much happier. Life is too short!

Mine was during the long interview, as well.

Applied for a Teaching assistant job, which I’d seen advertised many times before.

Appointment was 9am. Turned out to be all day. For a £9 an hour job, I had an IT test, interview with Head Teacher then a Governor then the school’s Council. Did a playground duty (even though I hadn’t got my DBS) and cover lunchtime. Listening to the staff in the staff room was enlightening and made sense why they had such a high turnover in staff.

Similar, age 17 in a call centre. We were basically pretending to be Sky and getting people to sign up for a subscription service. It was so shady, technically we didn't say we were sky but the speech implied it strongly. I was thinking, surely this is suss...
2nd day, there was an article in the paper about them that confirmed my suspicions. I walked out on my tea break.

Two weeks at a place that made fibre optic cables

Bunch of twats

2/3 weeks in a supposed "marketing" job which was actually just being a charity chugger knocking on people's doors asking for money for charity. Utterly dreadful and complete pyramid scheme. Fortunately I cottoned on before getting too sucked in. Never got paid anything either.

This was during the 2008/2009 crisis and so irritated me even more that this company were taking advantage of young people desperate for work. The horrible smarmy manager (the only one getting paid a dime) holding the essential "team meetings" every morning to encourage us to go and make money. Grim.

I remember texting my "team leader" saying I wouldn't be coming back because i believed it was a scam, and she sent me some bs back saying "it's not a scam you're just not dedicated enough" as if I should be dedicated to a job where I never earned anything 🤣

Job writing manuals for a software company, back in the early 1990s. Stuck in a tiny airless, windowless office with two men who were possibly in their late 50s, and me, in my 20s.

I was only allowed to ask questions in a half-hour window at the end of the day (the 2 men didn't want to be 'disturbed' by questions all day). So if I got stuck on something at say 9.30am, I had to wait all day to get an answer. It was absolutely grim.

I lasted 3 days.

One day. Well, I only lasted a day, but I’d already decided after an hour that I wouldn’t be coming back. London marketing company run by a husband-and-wife team. They were splitting up, and it was acrimonious. Basically the staff had chosen a side and were sticking to it. Not one person was pleasant towards me: between 20 to 30 people. It was a long-term temp job as a front of house/receptionist role… The first hour that I was there, a woman from the HR department was talking through their way of doing things. I wasn’t allowed to use the words such no, sorry, I’m afraid Ms X isn’t available, etc: I had to use ‘sexy words’ - this is how she actually phrased it. Apparently me starting a sentence with, ‘Ms X is unavailable right now’ would make people ‘sad’. Again, their words. Anything negative that I had to say, I had to put a positive spin on it. I had to do role-play with her. Utterly ridiculous. Every now, and again, a member of staff would come out, screech something at me, roll their eyes, slam a door and disappear. It was absolutely horrific.

1/2 way through a shift

@WiddlinDiddlin that is just gross 💩

I got a job in a weird museum. It was open late into the night and on my first shift I was informed that I’d be locking up everything on my own after each shift. The bit that was a huge no for me was that I essentially had to lock myself in before going out a really dodgy route. The museum was basically underground and even being there on my own for the shift was scary enough. I felt genuinely unsafe there. I handed in my notice the next day. They weren’t happy but I was like screwwww that.

Two hours. I got sent when a student for a temp job in a large open plan office (American Express). Nobody said a thing to me, and there was nothing for me to do. I was more or less an under-assistant to someone's secretary's assistant. It became obvious that I was sitting there doing nothing just to massage the ego of the secretary's boss, whoever he was (and it would have been a him then). I told someone on my way out that I didn't feel I could be useful to them, and left.

I day in December 2022. It turned out that my trainer was my old school bully. I though "fuck that", clocked off at 10pm and never went back.

Did 1 and a half days with a woman who recruited for very high level domestic staff. Job could have been interesting except the woman was mad as a box of frogs, had a little dog that shat on the floor and didn't believe in computers (none of which I knew at interview) just really, really weird

I was just about to post almost exactly the same as you! I've worked in several care settings over the years but went for a job in a new 'posher' one. The care manager proudly told me their cheapest room went for around £2K a week.
I then spent 2 hours of my shadow shift listening to the careers complaining that a poor chap had the audacity to not die quick enough. It wasn't dark humour either, they were genuinely placing bets and willing him to hurry up Horrid people