Son diagnosed with autism

It can turn out really well - autistic DS 21, is 'safe as houses', meaning there's so many other very bad things out there to fuck our kids up, at least I know my very capable ds is not involved in any of that shit.

Yes, sometimes I wish he would go out (socialize) more, but then I count my lucky stars he doesn't.

Looking back, the 'educational' side was completely horrendous, but DS just got a Level3 Btec so he overcame that nonsense in the end.

I'm sorry OP, huge tight hug. How you feel about this is normal. It's completely unfair and your life and your sons life will be more challenging and you can't rewind time. It's a bitter pill to swallow. My nephew is autistic and has ADHD, he is 8 and can say a handful of words but most of what he says is repetition. If he knows Christmas is coming for example he might say "Christmas is coming" all day and no matter how many times anyone says "Yes darling, Christmas is coming" he repeats the same thing and nothing but all day. Often hundreds of times. It can be extremely exhausting. Do you have a supportive family and husband? You need to lean on them as much as you can. Ask for them to look after your little boy so you can go out and see girlfriends or go to a spa or to the park for a walk or just to sit on a bench and breath. You can't predict the future and there is so much growth and change to be had and some of the growth spurts can be truly monumental, breathtaking and really take you by surprise. I think people don't know what to say so they end up either not saying anything or bringing your attention to the positives when really sometimes you just need to vent at how fucking hard, lonely and unfair it is. 💕 huge hug 💕

It'd such a hard road, but it does get more manageable as you learn to navigate the path ahead. What helped us the most in the early days was finding some autism or SEND groups (depending what's available). We're lucky that near us there's a play centre for disabled kids, and it's so refreshing, the kids are all use to been 'the different one', so are usually really accepting of differences. And when your dealing with a meltdown no one judges, as everyone has been there.

You've done brilliantly to get him a diagnosis so early. I know it's tinged with sadness, as it feels so much more 'real' once it's diagnosed. But he's still the same boy he was pre-diagnoses, just now you have the best chance of getting him the support he needs. I know it's still early, but if you haven't already ask his nursery to start the EHCP process, it takes a long time and the sooner you start, the sooner his needs at nursery/school can be met.

I think my son has adhd too but in my area they only diagnose that after 6/7

It is hard. My son was diagnosed autistic at 2. The looks are relentless but I just have to have a thick skin.

I know lots of children and adults with additional needs who have happy lives.

My son won't won't have a typical path, but I hope he will be happy.

But yep with you on how exhausting it is

I hear you, it’s tough when they’re so little.

DS1 was diagnosed (ASD/ADHD) at 7 after lots of school struggles, he’s now nearly 11 and absolutely amazing: top of his class, popular and happy. He is a bit different and will face struggles in future, but we try to communicate openly and discuss/reflect on things. The game changer was medication (school-time only) but I also think he’s a naturally sunny, fun-loving kid. I realise that it seems a long way off, but they grow and mature and surprise you.

My heart goes out to you, my son who is 8 got diagnosed with ASD last year and ADHD a couple of months ago.

It's so tough to see them struggle and if I could take away his difficulties, I would in a heartbeat. You will find ways to cope, even if it is by trial and error.

However, give yourself time to process the diagnosis yourself, sometimes I think it feels like grief, griefing for the life and child you imagined.

My son is amazing and I love him to the moon and back, but have realised I will spend years fighting for him whether with school, the council etc... It's a war and not a battle, so you need to look after yourself.