Has anyone had a baby via surrogacy?

@abstract13 I know I see it as giving some one that can't have a child a chance to have one and I would do it if couldn't have my own child and I would also put myself forward to help someone else out some people are so nasty x

Surrogacy is paying ^someone else" to get pregnant and grow a human; and then hand that human over to you. That's pretty much a definition of buying.

@Hoppinggreen even if it's someone who can't have kids? And both parties agree to it? I don't get it

IVF, fertility treatment and surrogacy are all you buying the chance to be a parent. Just with the first 2 you're paying for the pregnancy and birth experience while surrogacy you go straight to the end. The outcome is the same, you're paying to become a parent.

@mummybear247 this is what I've always thought too. I've never seen anyone so angry about surrogacy before

Because it’s buying a human, which is wrong

But that's the arguement. Of course a mother that gave birth to her child would see seperation from her infant as traumatic, couldn't contemplate giving them up. But that's a wanted, likely planned for pregnancy where you've gone through the whole conception and pregnancy experience preparing for the arrival of your child and bonding. But the point of surrogacy is that it wouldn't be her infant and she would have gone through the whole process understanding that the child isn't hers. Child usually genetically unrelated to her too.

You can't argue that its the same thought process, but as I said thats the arguement as to who's child the baby is.

Oh I don't know I think if u can't carry u own child then I'm all for it

What a strange analogy. IVF is not buying a human, it's paying to get pregnant and the chance to grow a human. Surrogacy is someone else doing all that for you and you getting the end result

I'm confused, why does everyone hate surrogacy?

For one Khole Kardashian has got nannies to look after her kids maybe that's why she didn't bond with him so fast

Good luck OP. Pretty much all you'll get is people saying how awful it is and how anyone who 'buys a human' deserves a death sentence.

Having a child is a very emotional and visceral thing. You'll get arguments for and against. People can justify almost anything to themselves if they want it enough. Usually the people who can fall pregnant at the drop of a hat are most against it.

You'll have many saying it's 'buying a human', but they never take into account that people pay for IVF and fertility treatments all the time so really they're also paying for a human. Then you'll get the whole 'but howww can you say thats the same thing' wailing when they're the person that said it was the paying for it 🙄.

There's the whole 'buying someones body'/'people doing it for money not choice' stuff which can equally be applied to sex work. And it's described as a feminist issue that people do this, then you'll have the opposite side claiming feminism is right to choose what to do so these feminists are being anti-feminist.

Then we have the whole palava about who the parents are and whether its traumatic for a newborn to be given to someone other than the person that carried them, even if genetically they are the product of the people they are given to.

There will be better places than mumsnet to do your research, I'd recommend finding one because this is just gonna get messy.

I agree with your point that women with children don't understand what it's like to never have have a baby (although plenty have experience of fertility issues). However I'm afraid these women also have a particular insight into what it is like to carry and birth a child and so can understand the trauma of infant separation for both woman and child

Perhaps she'll come on the thread.

Nope never had a baby this way had them all my self....some people never get the chance to give birth to there own babies so I see it as a chance to help someone if I had the chance too do it I would some may disagree but I don't care what other people have to say it's my body and I will do what I want end of

Well, you're going to be given people's opinions on here OP because we feel strongly about it. There is a pretty strong case for making surrogacy illegal, which it is in several countries. It is exploitative and people should raise their voices if they feel strongly enough to have it stopped. That includes when individuals post online and are considering it. Ignore the posts if you want to.

I think people’s experiences will also depend on why those chose surrogacy in the first place….those that didn’t want to “ruin” their bodies may regret not carrying a pregnancy in future, those that had no option in order to become a parent probably have a more positive experience in the end. Although both would be open to different issues concerning the toll on their MH.

FWIW, if it’s the former reason of the above - I think it should be illegal.

You're never going to get people who bought a baby from another woman say that it was a big mistake and they're wracked with guilt about it.

Khloe Kardashian has been open about her surrogacy experience and the guilt she felt and difficulties with bonding.

I don’t care

Like I said, she doesn’t get to choose who posts.
Neither do you

You're never going to get people who bought a baby from another woman say that it was a big mistake and they're wracked with guilt about it.

There was an article from a woman who was a surrogate for her brother and his wife a while ago which was really interesting. She had very very complex emotions about it.

'Altruistic' surrogacy is seen as a better option than commercial but it comes with a whole host of other issues.

I wish I could remember where it was. I thought it was the guardian but I can't find it

It's a discussion forum. Nobody really gets to control the narrative like that.

She asked for experiences. She didn't ask for any opinions at all.

An old classmate of mine had a baby through a surrogate in the USA (they're living there now). She was very open about it, had a blog and all that, and from what I gather she basically had a surrogate because her husband is a shallow twat and she was afraid she'd ruin her figure and he'd cheat if she were to get pregnant. Child seems fine and is off to high school next year.

That being said though, I don't agree with surrogacy and will just not be having kids.