Has anyone had a baby via surrogacy?

Agree. Can't imagine handing over the child I had given birth to after seeing just how much they instinctively already know who you are within that golden hour after birth, seeing them do the breast crawl, and only stopping crying when they're with me.

People forget the child in these circumstances and assume that because all looks fine on the surface of things for surrogate families that the child hasn't just gone through a huge trauma.

Surrogacy does serious harm. In fact, most things that exploit women do serious harm.

On the organ donation comparison.

Surrogacy www.mumsnet.com/Talk/feminism/4608634-surrogacy

(Is a kidney a sentient being with instinct, consciousness and the ability to make decisions?)

What from this short thread makes you think that?

I think you’ll make a great mum!

It is buying a human. Do you see yourself the same as a kidney?

My colleague's dad gave her a kidney. Fine.
If my colleague had gone to Georgia to buy one, that would not be fine.

And I'll say it again, if you're not emotionally intelligent or robust enough to cope with internet strangers disagreeing with your views, you're definitely not up to the task of parenting via surrogacy.

Firstly OP, nobody is setting out to upset you, or any of the other posters.

Most of us have nothing but sympathy for any woman struggling with fertility.

The issue with surrogacy is that it is incredibly risky for the woman and child. And a whole host of other issues, eg commercial surrogacy is very exploitative, because it preys on very poor women in developing countries who do it not because they want to, but because they need the money or are coerced.

Surrogacy using a different woman’s egg is more likely to be risky or end in miscarriage for the surrogate, but using her own egg means she is literally giving up her own genetic child. How might that child feel when they grow up and know they were given away, or even bought from, their own mother?

Too much of the debate is about the wants of adults, not the rights and needs of the child. That’s not how good law or public policy should be made.

There are lots of examples of surrogate mother’s experience on the Nordic Model Now website, and the Twitter pages SurrogConcern and WombsNotForRent post really interesting information about surrogacy here and abroad.

It’s not just any other way to have a family- it can be profoundly damaging to the mother and child. I would never countenance it.

Do you buy the organ or pay 'expenses'?

For those of you who disagree with surrogacy because it’s akin to buying a human, do you also disagree with (voluntary) live organ donation?

Thank you to the posters on here who are being much more measured and reasonable than the surrogacy threads usually go. In fact I usually hide them as they are so bad.

If I want to have a child surrogacy is my only option. I have no possible chance of carrying a baby due to having endometrial cancer at aged 32. I still have my ovaries but had to have had a hysterectomy.
I don't feel equipped to handle adoption for a whole host of reasons.

I probably won't do it. I'm not sure enough to accept someone else carrying a baby on my behalf and I'm still struggling with accepting that I can't carry myself.

But the vitriol spouted on here is just vile. For those against surrogacy please remember there are people out there with feelings and your words hurt and can do serious harm.

@Maireas Georgia have banned surrogacy recently.

OP, as my posting history attest to I have often started surrogacy threads and comment on related threads. I am anti-surrogacy since learning of the truth from Mumsnet (search for rumplestiltskin and you'll find why). You could balance the views here alongside anecdotes from agencies (who have a vested interest) and any number of media articles which say how wonderful it is. (Some articles only briefly mention the EMCS, post birth injuries or secondary infertility at the end so be sure to read to the last paragraphs).

I share this for examples you may not easily come across.

Surrogacy Resource thread : please post your links here www.mumsnet.com/Talk/womens_rights/3782983-surrogacy-resource-thread-please-post-your-links-here

It's harder to find more honest accounts but you can read first person accounts at Nordic Model Now or Stop Surrogacy Now or search for #surrogacyregret on Twitter.

You can balance out the stories of surrogacy regret and exploration of the ethical issues discussed often on Mumsnet alongside the positive stories with happy endings from national media and surrogate mothers (many work at agencies as co-ordinaries) and make up your own mind.

Thank you for sharing your experience. It was the first honest account I think I've read.

I have a friend who looked into it as she wanted another baby after she had to have her womb removed during her first labour. It's prohibitively expensive and a lot of red tape in this country. She didn't end up going ahead and has adopted.

Another woman I know did do it, but used a surrogate in the USA and is in a much different wealth bracket to me and friend mentioned above, so she had a shitload of cash to throw at it.

IVF is the same outcome as surrogacy only if you don't give a shit about the surrogate or the baby, both of whom will be affected profoundly and potentially traumatically.

Somebody I used to work with went to Tiblisi in Georgia, there are surrogacy agencies there. Their embryo, frozen in the UK. They seemed to think it was a good process and have a little girl, now back at home in the UK. It gave them their genetic child and are very happy.
Disclaimer : I am not saying if it's right or wrong, just responding to the OP who asked about experiences. Not mine, but I thought it may be useful.

Do you have someone who would be a surrogate for your OP? I think that's the difference for me. I would potentially be a surrogate for a sister/ best friend and I've got no issues with that kind of surrogacy. however I don't agree with women who are paid to do it. It makes me feel like they're just a vessel to be rented. Makes me feel uneasy.

OMG @highsexdriveonhol you're rude.

YABU in all sorts of ways.

You say you've "researched" the ethics. Really? You don't appear to have had any kind of thought process about the ethics ...

"I want another woman to spend 9 months pregnant and to give birth to a baby on my behalf but I cannot cope with strangers on the internet disagreeing with me."

Your thread title is wrong OP. If you buy a baby, you are not "having a baby" in any sense of the meaning of that phrase. You are buying another woman's body.

Surrogacy should be illegal.

It's tough if you can't conceive & gestate your own child. Really tough (I know from experience). BUt that doesn't justify using another woman's body as your gestating vehicle.

She is being massively provoked?

Oh dear, well you sound calm and rational.

Yep! And I suspect the ones who are shouting the loudest and bashing surrogacy the most, are the ones who know least about it. Just jumping on the 'mumsnet surrogate-bashing bandwagon!'