He makes noise constantly

Jesus Christ as soon as my son hit 20 he started this shit too!
His dad doesn't do it.

So no idea why he thinks it's acceptable!

Hacking cough with phlegm performance, constant noises and rambling on commentating everything he does! Maybe he watched too much you tube and thinks we want to know his every move? 🤣

I did have a word with him about it and commented that if he's living with someone please do not do this! He doesn't do it with his girlfriend so there is hope!

I remember telling a good friend that my DH and I were going to separate.

She asked me “Do all his eating noises really irritate you now?” YES!!!!!

I think it’s part of the ick

My dad came to stay for a few days, a stream of bodily noises plus constant narration in the gaps. It is like he will cease to exist if he isn’t making a noise!

I'd find a time when it was suitable and quietly tell him that his ever increasing repertoire of bodily noises is deeply unattractive.

However bear in mind he might take this to mean the relationship is essentially over. That's what I would take from such a comment, because I certainly wouldn't be holding my breath and going in the back garden to blow my nose, or tiptoeing across rooms because my increasingly twitchy husband couldn't stand to hear me.

Headphones.. Without an audience he may grow up..
May...

Both my parents used to do this. And they used to slurp instead of sip, quite loudly. It was all as though they’d never had tea before, were trying it for the first time and thought it was the nectar of the gods. But somehow they managed not to do it at a cafe, restaurant or at someone else’s house. 🤔

My dh has developed a habit of clearing his throat in the loudest, most repulsive way imaginable. He does a long, very loud, phlegmy, cchhhrrmmmm noise. Over and over again. He isn’t doing it at the moment but I dread the next time he gets a cough or cold. It’s definitely possible to clear your throat more discreetly, it isn’t just natural or involuntary to make that much noise.

I doubt he is unusually noisy - I just don't think couples are meant to be crammed in the same space all the time. If you were out all day and he was out all day he wouldn't be getting on your nerves.

I think working at home us a poor long term option for most people for many reasons, of which this is one.

That would gross me out OP, YANBU. I'd find a time when it was suitable and quietly tell him that his ever increasing repertoire of bodily noises is deeply unattractive.

I was on a train recently and it packed the guy standing next to me was constantly coughing (no tissues, didn't even use his hand), and wiping his nose with his hand. I handed him a pack of tissues and said "please use these" he was shocked. Didn't even seem to realise, but he did have the grace to go bright red.

I had one of these. Constant chompy-lipsmacking and under-the-breath-moaning noises while he was eating, repulsive throat clearing, performative coughing. When the hayfever season began, he had a nasty scratchy-rubby noise he would do in his throat, and in the cold and flu season, there was a vile daily steam inhalation ritual that involved hacking up imaginary phlegm into my best saucepans, regardless of whether or not he actually had a cold. On top of that, he also couldn't sing in tune, though he wouldn't have it, and insisted on humming/dirging along whenever music was playing. And if that wasn't bad enough, he also had a habit of turning Radio 4 on whenever he was in the room and then leaving it on when he left - even though he knew I dislike talk radio. I can't even speak of the farting.

He gets to do it all in the privacy of his own home now, though I suspect he doesn't bother without an audience.

Suffice to say, I feel your pain, OP.

I am proud to announce that on a recent holiday when a random man on a nearby sunbed started up with the hacking up inward burp cough thing I shot him my best evil death stare and shouted, "Ew! Gross!"

He looked deeply shocked.

Best ignored if you can.

Either it is attention-seeking, in which case he is likely to do it all the more if you point it out.

Or is is unconscious habit and pointing it out will make him self-conscious and likely to do it all the more, as a sort of nervous tic.

Looks as though you can't win!

Mine does an initial slurp then an aah when tea drinking - but never with coffee. Nose blowing is horrific. He knows he’s in massive trouble if he walks out of the home office into where I’m working and does it. I’ve made him have tissues in there and get it done behind a closed door.

OMG, the inward HiccBurp thing gives me the RAGE!!! My DH does it too. And his dad. Even reading this has re-given me the rage.

Has he got untreated allergies?

I had pneumonia a few years ago and have some lung damage and sometimes in very cold weather I get fluid on my chest and feel like I have a lot of phlegm.

I thought about what I could do and hit on the idea of taking cough medicine even though I don't have a cough.

Benylin mucus cough.

One or two tea spoons a day either in the morning or at night and it dries up the fluid.

I also have hayfever and even with antihistamine still have a stuffy nose. A few sniffs of an Olbas oil inhaler stick and my breathing is clear.

Do you think he might have something like that?

DH is nearly 60 and has suffered from tinnitus for years - he's now losing his hearing but he won't have a bar of it. As a result, he can't hear how much noise he makes.

I have got pots of silicone earplugs everywhere. Otherwise I'd be in prison.

I appreciate that I've got sensitive hearing, but the banging and crashing drives me mad. As for the throat clearing and sneezing.... I actually called him a word that I never use the other night as I jumped out my skin. AHHHHHHHHHHHHCHHHHHHHHHHOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOO

No, that’s deliberate. I think with some men making constant noise is a sort of control thing?

As in ‘I’m going to annoy the hell out of you and make you snap, then you will look like a bad person’.

Mind games.

Well it could be worse. My partner is like a ninja and scares the shit out of me as he just appears! We don't live together thankfully.

I would probably get the ick or divorce a mouth breather/chomper/loud performance sneezer...and many other types

Ears plugs
If that doesn't work, garden and shovel

I was married to a performative sneezer. The loudest achoo ever.
He's also make this whistling noise, not quite a full whistle but more like a strange warbling bird sound. When I first started hearing it, I"d ask if he heard that sound and he'd deny it.

Like a donkey chewing with a broken jaw isn’t it. When my ex was trying to encourage our fussy toddler to eat he’d shove his own dinner in his mouth and make this ‘hom-nom-nom’ noise, a bit like that bowl scene from Beauty and the Beast. I’m shocked either me or the child could face eating again.

Oh and don’t get me started on having a few germs. Weeks of desperately grabbing for a hanky, whole body being thrown forward for a full performance of the worlds most forced cough..