He makes noise constantly

Sounds like my ex. He hated me - so much so, he tried to kill me.

By the time he finally fucked off to the OW, I was not allowed to speak, sneeze (I do quiet sneezes), breathe, smile, eat, drink or sleep without permission.

Mine also seems to be turning slowly into Victor Meldrew as he ages. Performative anger, with much tutting and exclaiming until I ask what’s wrong.

Stirring the sugar in a mug for about 8 minutes, tinkling the spoon as if it's an Enid Blyton style dinner-bell.

There’s a definite solidarity of recognition with these types of man noises imo

Especially the hot drink performances

On a particular slow day I have been known to sit down with my Cup of Coffee @ work & do the exaggerated ‘sluuuuurp, aaaaaaah’ with every sip

Intended for Comedy value but the instinctive immediate head swivels & death stares of virtually every women in the office are very telling :)

🤣🤣

I work with one of these. Very quiet small office and several times a day we have the 200 decibel orgasmic scream when he yawns. Literally jump out of my skin each time.

Another victim signing in. In this house is stomping, stampeding up and down the stairs, moving his fucking wheely chair all over his home office (one day when we were both working from home he jumped out of his skin encountering me in the kitchen, said he hadn’t heard anything from my office all day and thought I’d gone out ), complete inability to whisper when arguing at 4am outside the baby’s room how to settle him (“I AM WHISPERING WHAT DO YOU MEAN”), clears his throat relentlessly, performative sneezing (he adds a can-can kick that he allegedly cannot help), scrolling through his phone and chuckling then looking round waiting for someone to ask what’s amusing (I will die before I request to see someone’s hilarious internet), tapping his foot, the sniff-wipe move, the DRAMA of leaving the house with the HUFF and the PUFF of he cannot find his keys/coat/bag even in the 0.5 seconds of dashing into a room and huffing at it. Just slow down and LOOK but do it QUIETLY. Then bangs the door as he goes. Aaargh.

My DDad does this... he is the loudest man alive. We get
Honky nose-blowing
Dramatic coughing
Bellowing sneezes that nearly give us all a heart attack
Sniffing that can be heard from two rooms away
Awful wet sucking noises when he eats
High pitched whistling
Picking at his nails with an irritating clicking noise
All of which can be produced at any moment of the day, no matter if we might be at the dinner table, having lunch in a nice restaurant or whatever... it's as if he doesn't know how to sit quietly and still, and do nothing. Every moment of quiet has to be filled with something.

I love him but my God I wish I could find a volume dial! I have misophonia and have often wondered if my sensitivity to noise is because of childhood exposure. I don't think it occurs to him that other people might not want to hear his noises all the time.

Yes! This

It's like they are taking up space with noise

My H is like the OPs but not as bad. Like, ostentatious when yawning or sneezing, singing / humming loudly etc

We also have wooden floors and my DD (18) is the loudest walker in the house, she must put her full weight down with every step. Every door she closes is slammed, not out of temper, she just does it automatically. No throaty noises, thank goodness. 😂

A work colleague does the throat clearing/coughing though. Thank goodness she’s in an adjoining office, I’d be feeling murderous if she was in the same room!

The men who make these sort of attention seeking noises are probably the same ones who sit behind you on the bus and keep kicking the back of your seat.

"my sister will do the "aaaah" after a sip of tea as a comedy bit, but not often."

Aye, my dad will do it occasionally for comedy purposes, but only once . My mum would give him the death glare if he tried it more than that. He does cough and clear his throat a lot, but he's 82 with CPF, so he can't help that.

DH will utter a stream of curses and expletives if he so much as drops a teaspoon, as sure as if he'd actually dropped a casserole of stew, smash all over the kitchen floor. Bloody drama queen. 🙄

Mine is the same. And now I've read this I'm going to notice it even more. Thank you for that.😅

Because I can't bear to watch my husband
eat toast,
eat fork-only food with a knife and fork scrap scrape scrape explode at a nothing-event
Mumble negatively in the shower
Wiggle his feet all the effing time when watching tv
Breathe in my ear in bed

....I have some great DH avoidance strategies which take tremendous planning to look natural

I'd be getting a divorce new patio.

My DS sent me a clip of a lad who has stayed awake all night and is startled by hearing his Dad clean his teeth for work, DH is a noisy teeth cleaner, nothing else fortunately.

I find when habits annoy more than usual it’s because you don’t like the person so much at the time.

🤣 🤣 🤣 🤣

My mum complains that me and my late father are /were ninjas and she can't hear us enter the room, never mind the house.

meanwhile, the sound of my own breathing annoys me when I'm trying to sleep 😂I did have to learn to sneeze quietly (hayfever). But why are people constantly clearing their throat, is it smoking related?

my sister will do the "aaaah" after a sip of tea as a comedy bit, but not often.

I'd be concerned he had asthma or something rather than slate him on here!

@idebtiy that would give gastro type symptoms wouldn't it?

DH tea slurping bad but crockery scraping on a glaze removing level. MIL replaying videos from her phone thought there was a fault, noooooo it's her non stop stream fake laugh/ witch cackle, (too) brief self realization moment 😬

My husband talks constantly or makes up songs about stupid random things. I now just ask him to stop. It's irritating and overwhelming for me to have constant noise when he's in the house! Tell him to stop and point it out every single time