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Original poster

Noticed DD's birthmark for the first time today, DH worried it's going to be big

106 replies

elm26 · 16/08/2023 23:34

Hi everyone

Didn't know where to post this.

Whilst bathing my DD who's 12 weeks, I noticed that she has a birthmark that neither my Husband or I have noticed before. It's on the back of her leg.

I've attached a picture.

When I showed DH he said "oh no that's quite big and in an obvious place, she'll hate it as she gets older and it gets bigger as she grows". Does that happen? I've got a birthmark the same colour as DD's under my armpit but it's about the size of a 5p.

Now I'm worried she's going to end up with a huge birthmark that she'll hate when she's older.

OP posts:
likey · 17/08/2023 00:43

One of mine has a birth mark like that on her shin. It's never bothered her and it's never been pointed out to her in a negative way. Please don't worry about it! Congratulations on your lovely girl.

Helpmegetajob · 17/08/2023 00:37

not read the full thread. But if you have just noticed this then I don’t think it’s a birthmark but perhaps a cafe au lait mark. Sounds strange but they are quite common and mostly harmless. However can be linked to a condition that’s affects kids as teen.

you need to monitor and if more than 5 apppear before the age of 5 or if they are bigger than around 3cms she needs to be seen by a paediatrician.

thecatsarecrazy · 17/08/2023 00:36

I had one like that on my belly as a child, can't even see it now

Tinysoxx · 17/08/2023 00:34

Chickenpox swept through the primary school when DC were little, leaving them and some of their friends with scars. One child fell out of a tree and ended up with a large hooked nose, another knocked their 2 front teeth out (new adult ones).

It really isn’t a problem. Something you can control is to get the chickenpox vaccine which still isn’t on the nhs list.

sadeyedladyofthelowlandsea · 17/08/2023 00:33

DS (18) still has his two birthmarks, one on his stomach, one on his hand. I love them, and have always said to him how excited I was when I saw them for the first time when he was the same age as your DD! Because it was something entirely unique to him that no one else in the world had. He's really proud of them, and gets annoyed if he gets tanned and they merge with the rest of his skin.
Congratulations on your beautiful, beloved baby. She will be special in every way, she's already showing you that Flowers

Andanewnameagain · 17/08/2023 00:32

Ha, yeah same. Have one on my ribs. I'd forgotten it was there until I read this thread then got DH to see if it was still visible. Yes, just, apparently). Non issue! Btw DS had a strawberry birth mark on his back when he was born that completely disappeared by the time he was 3/4/5. - forget exactly when as he's now grown up.

Yesabsolutely · 17/08/2023 00:31

I would ask GP for advice who can advise. Not all birth marks are straight forward.

Gh12345 · 17/08/2023 00:25

I had one very similar size and colour on my arm. I’m 30 now and it’s completely disappeared

nolongersurprised · 17/08/2023 00:23

It’s a cafe au lait birthmark, 10-15% of the population have 1-3 of them.

HoppingPavlova · 17/08/2023 00:23

I have the same but on the front of my leg. I was never teased, in fact no one ever mentioned it. Was quite noticeable in summer as it tanned, whereas the rest of my lily white skin just went lobster red, peeled and back to white. I loved it and wished I had one covering my whole body 😁. Can’t remember my parents ever mentioning it. Unfortunately, now with old, wrinkly, sagging skin it seems to have blended in.

Think your DH’s attitude and comment, and fact you are giving it headspace, really odd.

justasoul · 17/08/2023 00:19

I have a similar one in a similar place and although I can’t guarantee that your DD is not going to hate it, I can tell you I quite liked mine growing up and had, in fact, not even thought about it for many years before this thread Smile

TheCraicDealer · 17/08/2023 00:13

MonkeyToez · 17/08/2023 00:05

I have a birth mark the same colour, 3 inches long on my shin, I've never even thought of it as something to be self conscious about, nor has anybody else ever mentioned it.

Why would she hate it? It's a part of her. Raise her to love the things that make her unique.

I’m exactly the same, and tbh I’d sort of forgot that I had it until I saw the photo! Honestly don’t be worrying about it, she’ll probably not even think about it day to day as it’s out of her line of sight.

SuperSue77 · 17/08/2023 00:12

CarpetSlipper · 16/08/2023 23:42

It’ll only be an issue if you and your DH make it one. If you just never mention it, I’m sure she won’t either. It’s barely noticeable, they’re really common and I doubt anyone else will ever comment.

This. Don’t mention it to her when she’s older.

AliceMcK · 17/08/2023 00:11

Honestly that is nothing, I call these coffee stains as that is what my parents called my DFs on his tummy, it was barely noticeable. I had one on the back of my leg that was very different, I was teased and told I shit myself, but mine looked very similar to this and right under my arse.

Your dd will be fine, the chances are it will fade, my dd had a big one on her face when she was born but at 9yo I can’t remember the last time I noticed it.

Noticed DD's birthmark for the first time today, DH worried it's going to be big
continentallentil · 17/08/2023 00:10

It’s on the back of her leg. It’s fine.

Original poster
elm26 · 17/08/2023 00:09

Thank you @calmcoco ☺️

OP posts:
Original poster
elm26 · 17/08/2023 00:08

BruceAndNosh · 17/08/2023 00:04

After 13 miscarriages, you want and deserve your baby to be perfect.
And she is. Her birthmark does not make her any less perfect.

She is perfect in every way. Trust me, she is a much wanted, longed for baby who we adore and who our families cherish as they never thought they'd be grandparents/aunties/uncles etc to our children.

OP posts:
Original poster
elm26 · 17/08/2023 00:06

Aparecium · 16/08/2023 23:54

With those attitudes from her parents, yes, she probably will hate it. This is entirely up to you.

I had a great big strawberry birthmark on my face, that never completely disappeared. Never occurred to me to hate it, because my parents treated it as part of me, part of my cuteness, part of my beauty, part of my story. Neither ignoring it nor making an issue of it.

Your dd has a cafe au lait mark. It's normal.

I don't think that's a fair comment, "attitudes from her parents" we adore her. She doesn't understand what DH said, he only said he hopes it doesn't get bigger as she might hate it! It would never be said to her.

OP posts:
MonkeyToez · 17/08/2023 00:05

I have a birth mark the same colour, 3 inches long on my shin, I've never even thought of it as something to be self conscious about, nor has anybody else ever mentioned it.

Why would she hate it? It's a part of her. Raise her to love the things that make her unique.

calmcoco · 17/08/2023 00:04

elm26 · 16/08/2023 23:46

@Mercibuckets thank you so much, she was our little miracle after 13 miscarriages xx

Gosh, congratulations Flowers

Sometimes when it's been so hard to get to this point you can be a bit perfectionist, but I promise that birthmark is just fine.

One of mine has a big scar (surgery) - no problem.

ExtraOnions · 17/08/2023 00:04

My daughter had a Storkbite… she’s 17 now and it’s faded to nothing.

misslooloo · 17/08/2023 00:04

I had a birthmark like that at the top of my thigh/hip when I was a kid and now I honestly can’t find it! Completely faded.

BruceAndNosh · 17/08/2023 00:04

After 13 miscarriages, you want and deserve your baby to be perfect.
And she is. Her birthmark does not make her any less perfect.

Original poster
elm26 · 17/08/2023 00:03

Of course we'll never make it a thing. She's perfect to us, I couldn't care less if it was on her face, she'd still be just as beautiful as she is to me now.

She's 12 weeks old and obviously doesn't understand what was said. My Nan used to tell me that birthmarks are from where the angels give you a kiss goodbye as they sent you earthside 😂 no idea why mine was kidding me on the armpit in that case 😂

OP posts:
AtrociousCircumstance · 16/08/2023 23:58

This is nothing.

If you and your H make this a ‘thing’ for her then yes, she has a problem - not the faint birthmark, but her parents projecting their irrational stresses onto her.

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