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AIBU?

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Original poster

To think hotels are very child unfriendly

767 replies

Ontheclifftop · 14/08/2023 10:17

We've just come back from a weekend away in a hotel with dd aged 5 and ds aged 3. Three incidents really made me realise how unwelcoming hotels are to young families:

  1. When we were checking in after a long drive the kids were letting off a bit of steam. I know how that sounds, but they were just running around a bit, not getting in anyone's way or anything. Two people who were sitting on couches reading newspapers got up and left, one sighing heavily and one giving us a dirty look.
  2. At about 7ish the following morning we got a call from reception to say the people in the next room were complaining about the noise. Again I know how that sounds, but dd and ds were playing quietly with some teddies. DS let out one squeal of excited laughing but other than that they were perfectly fine.
  3. Following that call I said I'd take them down to the swimming pool as I knew it opened early. When I got down the attendant said it was adult only between 7.30 and 9.00. I explained about the phone call and pointed out there were only 2 people in the pool and I'd do my best to ensure we'd stay down at the shallow end and not get in their way. But he refused to let us in.
The whole thing really pissed me off. What are you supposed to do with young children in a hotel? If they play quietly in the room someone complains. If you try to use the facilities to keep them occupied, you're told you can't.

AIBU to feel hotels are just totally unwelcoming to young families nowadays?

OP posts:
Sisterthesame · 15/08/2023 09:04

When DH used to travel a lot with work DS and I would join him on some of his European jaunts staying in really nice hotels. Never an issue.

I feel sorry for your children’s future teachers, I bet you call them spirited, we all know the translation.

sashh · 15/08/2023 09:01

You might be better with a B and B or a guest house. Or a farm, lost do farms do B and B.

Some have indoor and outdoor play areas.

6WeekCountdown · 15/08/2023 08:54

Elephantsdontlikechocolate · 15/08/2023 07:15

Isn't no children in the pool at certain times age discrimination. Vile either way.

🤣🤣🤣

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6WeekCountdown · 15/08/2023 08:51

Why are you taking your kids to what sounds like a nice hotel? Take them camping or similar if you want space and to get up early squealing. If we pay for a hotel break I don't want to listen to squealing kids when I've gone to the effort of leaving my own kids at home with babysitters. I have 3 aged 2, 5 and 7 I'm right there too, you have to chose child friendly places, not think you can still go to the nice adult places you once enjoyed and think everyone should embrace your noisy brats.

amusedbush · 15/08/2023 08:50

I understand why you wanted to burn some of their energy early in the morning but if I had woken up early on holiday to take advantage of the adult-only pool time, then someone wheedled the lifeguard to get their young kids in, I'd be really annoyed. Rules are rules.

Being charitable, maybe you didn't think it was bad because you're desensitised to their day-to-day noise. Although, the fact that you caveated everything with "I know how it sounds", insisting it wasn't that bad means you know they shouldn't have been doing it. I reckon you're downplaying it.

I appreciate that children don't have the capacity for boredom that adults do but there is a difference between visibly trying to manage behaviour and just letting them run riot. People will generally be less prickly if they can see/hear you at least trying to manage poor behaviour.

Charlize43 · 15/08/2023 08:49

Maybe choose the appropriate, designated space for excited, noisy squealing children where they can run amok: Center Parcs; Butlins; A reform school; etc.

Marchitectmummy · 15/08/2023 08:44

It's not the hotel isn't child friendly, it doesn't sound like yoy have taught your children how to behave in a shared space. It isn't appropriate for children to be running around a reception area. If your children need to let off steam then teach them to wait or take them somewhere before going unto a space like that.

You need to teach your children how to adapt to settings, not just run wild.

yogasaurus · 15/08/2023 08:39

Definitely child friendly as I noticed on reception when we checked in there were little activity packs with crayons you could take for children

Do you honestly not realise that this kind of thing is provided to amuse and distract children so that they don’t get bored and resort to running around the lobby? Especially for those whose parents don’t bother to bring anything for the same purpose.

PipinwasAuntieMabelsdog · 15/08/2023 08:38

Children stay at the Ritz et al. @Ontheclifftop, doesn't make them family friendly hotels does it? Sounds like you were at quite an upmarket place and your children did not behave appropriately. YABU, people have paid a lot of money for a holiday, what gives you the right to ruin that? I have 2 DCs 5 and 1, you have to take control

yogasaurus · 15/08/2023 08:35

Elephantsdontlikechocolate · 15/08/2023 07:15

Isn't no children in the pool at certain times age discrimination. Vile either way.

Dumbest post of the day bingo has been won early today

Blondebutnotlegally · 15/08/2023 08:31

agent765 · 14/08/2023 23:47

UK hotels are fine when children behave.

As other posters have said, some parents today think that everyone else should put up with their kids with a smile on their faces. I would never expect others to put up with mine being a nuisance.

Most people book a hotel for a quiet break (especially if they're getting a break from their own kids). Having it ruined by children running riot is no fun.

Show quote history

Doesn't sound like OPs kids were "running riot". They just weren't acting like adults. Which is fine too. I put up with other adults, so I'm happy to put up with other kids. Because I don't expect everyone to pander to me.

PaperSheet · 15/08/2023 08:28

WouldJustlikeaLatte · 14/08/2023 12:08

We got complained about so much recently. 2 y o dd is autistic and a bad sleeper plus we were in an unfamiliar place and she was screaming at night 😵‍💫 the hotel wanted to move us after 2 nights but she was just getting used to the too. So we couldn’t switch so they had to move the people both sides of us one of whom was very vocal about how we shouldn’t be taking ‘THAT sort of child!’ To hotels etc etc 😭

The thing is you don't know what issues the people in the rooms next to you have. I'm autistic myself and absolutely could not deal with screams coming from the room next to me all night. These days I do take noise cancelling headphones with me everywhere I go, but when I was a child I didn't have that, (wasn't diagnosed until I was an adult and pretty sure my parents just thought I was being badly behaved when I was having a meltdown over noises) and would have been screaming and crying myself at the noise. So yes I would have "complained" to the hotel about the noise as I could not have stayed in that room anymore. Do I think you shouldn't be allowed to take your daughter to a hotel? Of course not. But, you just need to be aware that your daughters behaviour could affect other autistic people/children meaning perhaps they may not be able to not bring their children to hotels or have to leave early etc. I can imagine someone posting on here saying they took their child with autism on holiday, and in the room next door was a child who screamed all night which caused their child to have a meltdown as they can't cope with noise. So they complained to the hotel who said the was no other rooms available as it was fully booked so they had to cut their holiday short which caused their child to have a further meltdown and the whole holiday was ruined. Unfortunately living with autism sucks a lot of the time and at points sometimes some parents will end up having to leave a place (like a hotel). Should it happen? No. But when you have conflicting needs sometimes one party will have no choice.

PoshPineapple · 15/08/2023 08:24

@Elephantsdontlikechocolate Elephantsdontlikechocolate

Isn't no children in the pool at certain times age discrimination. Vile either way.

Yes, my local pool has an inflatable session which you can only partake in if you are under 14 and as I'm 50 something I'm not allowed to go and join in. Vile, utterly and completely vile, eh?

Oysterbabe · 15/08/2023 08:20

You were either being more noisy than you're letting on or made a bad choice of hotel. I've stayed in hotels regularly since mine were babies and never had an issue.

AbsolutelyCreamCrackered · 15/08/2023 08:18

Your children sound very lacking in discipline.

HolidaysShouldNotEnd · 15/08/2023 08:17

Elephantsdontlikechocolate · 15/08/2023 07:15

Isn't no children in the pool at certain times age discrimination. Vile either way.

Ha ha. I am currently at a lovely adults-only hotel with my adult kids. Is the hotel guilty of discrimination?!

Goforththenorth · 15/08/2023 08:12

You’re brave posting this OP, I’m finding that Mumsnet is increasingly not child friendly 😜

Whether you’re unreasonable or not depends on the hotel I think, sorry haven’t RTFT. DH and I recently stayed at the Hilton in Canary Wharf which is a lovely big hotel. Definitely child friendly as I noticed on reception when we checked in there were little activity packs with crayons you could take for children (although I didn’t see many little ones at all). If you’re in a big hotel I think some noise is to be expected, I always take ear plugs as you don’t know what time other guests are going to be back from their evenings out/up early the next day, and door slamming and general noise is part of staying in a hotel. But if it was a small boutique hotel with few rooms, it’s a bit more reasonable to expect quiet.

YANBU that generally the UK is pretty child unfriendly though.

PoshPineapple · 15/08/2023 08:11

When my children were young (at one point 3, 5 & 8) - I honestly think I reached the stage where I just didn't 'hear' how loud they could be when running around together. What I thought was normal was, in hindsight, probably rather loud to the child-free ear. Could that be the case with you?

Also, if other guests were giving you the side-eye/complaining, that's not really the hotel being family-unfriendly, it's just other guests being pissed off with you!

As regards the swimming...I live very close to a Holiday Inn where I pay a substantial membership fee every month to use just the pool. It's adults only between 7 and 9am, and I would be FURIOUS if I had to share this time with kids staying in the hotel, so yes, YABU there...stay out! 😆

Ohforfox · 15/08/2023 08:01

My sympathies to you as this sounds tough trying to keep young kids entertained & enjoying a break whilst being respectful to other guests. I must confess though if I had been next to your family I would have been silently disappointed - if I'm going on a nice trip away & there's young kids next to me I'm always a bit ughhh. Now, I have a child & work with kids so I'm not a child hater, but if I'm going somewhere specifically to relax I want peace & quiet - things which don't usually come with young children! Having said that, I wouldn't call & report kids noise - although I'm maybe less sensitive to it due to my job. But yeah, even though I have a kid & they're sometimes annoying I don't want to be hearing/seeing other kids when I'm on a break. Hypocritical I know!

Greenwitchhorse · 15/08/2023 07:54

For goodness sake...

  • Control/educate your children better. People are clearly telling you that the way they behave goes beyond what people are usually prepared to tolerate from young children...
  • Choose resorts that are specifically for families.

Problem solved.

Tiredalwaystired · 15/08/2023 07:53

Lenor · 14/08/2023 23:49

I completely agree OP, but I know a lot of people won’t.

I think it’s time that the silly notion of children being seen and not heard is put behind us. A huge proportion of the population has young children currently, or recently had young children and 100% of the population was once a young child.

I took my young children into a shopping centre today and I was on their case the entire time we were out. Stay next to me, don’t run around, don’t touch that, don’t laugh too loudly. I basically spent the entire time we were out getting them to ‘behave’ and the more I tried the more difficult it became because they are children, and those things don’t come naturally to them. They’re good children… but they were bored, there was a lot of waiting and ultimately they don’t have the ability at 3 and 5 years old to behave like mini adults.

I think when my third was born I really realised how non-child friendly the majority of society is. We have 3 children under 6 years old and there is a large number of things I feel unable to do with them, purely because of society’s expectations that they behave in non-developmentally appropriate ways.

Theres a huge number on this board that have been where you are now.

When you and your children are older you will ALL be saying what others are saying now (including your teenagers), I guarantee it.

Youre in your young family bubble, which can make a parent selfish. It’s normal to feel that way for a short while but you won’t always. There are plenty of places which ARE geared towards children and families, from Pizza Hut, to morning cinema showings, to family swim to soft play but there also needs to be places where other people’s kids don’t need to impinge on everyone else negatively. And there’s the great in between where children behave as appropriately as they can for their age and adults dont bat an eyelid.

Susannainblue · 15/08/2023 07:44

The pool rule always annoyed me as we would pick hotels purely for the pool. Some hotels carry kids rules up to age 16. We'd want to be up early for a swim before breakfast, then off out for the day. Then maybe another swim before bed. Sometimes kids wouldn't be allowed in until 9am, which would mean swimming right after eating breakfast and it would then be closed to kids before we got back in an evening.

As for the rest, we've always found hotel rooms pretty sound proof and our kids weren't noisy anyway. Running round the lobby would have been an absolute no.

Menomave · 15/08/2023 07:38

As someone already said, people don't complain for one shriek or running about. Have another think - objectively. Are you just so used to it you don't think it's that bad? Some parents seem totally oblivious (I'm not saying that's you).

I often go away for the night with DH - premier inn rather than high end because of our budget. It's really annoying to be woken early (6/7am) by kids upstairs or next door, running around the room (little feet can be surprisingly heavy overhead) or screeching. I've never complained personally but it is irritating

I do think the pool could perhaps be flexible on a case by case basis if they think it's appropriate. If there were genuinely only a couple of people in it and they didn't mind, and if the children wouldn't have got in their way, then they could've allowed it. To me, it's better than them disturbing everyone else in the hotel. But the adults might have been using the pool early exactly because it was quiet - kids tend to be extra loud and screechy in a pool, splashing around, which is fine at normal times but not when adult only

Bertiesmum3 · 15/08/2023 07:37

If you’re struggling to accept your children’s behaviour is unacceptable when they’re young, I dread to think what they’ll be like as teenagers!
you need to start parenting now and putting boundaries in place ASAP!!

Womencanlift · 15/08/2023 07:27

Elephantsdontlikechocolate · 15/08/2023 07:15

Isn't no children in the pool at certain times age discrimination. Vile either way.

This is peak Mumsnet. Thanks for giving me a laugh this morning 😂😂😂

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