Page 13 | To think hotels are very child unfriendly

Ontheclifftop · 2023-08-14T09:17:01+00:00

We've just come back from a weekend away in a hotel with dd aged 5 and ds aged 3. Three incidents really made me realise how unwelcoming hotels are to young families: 1. When we were checking in after a long drive the kids were letting off a bit of steam. I know how that sounds, but they were just running around a bit, not getting in anyone's way or anything. Two people who were sitting on couches reading newspapers got up and left, one sighing heavily and one giving us a dirty look. 1. At about 7ish the following morning we got a call from reception to say the people in the next room were complaining about the noise. Again I know how that sounds, but dd and ds were playing quietly with some teddies. DS let out one squeal of excited laughing but other than that they were perfectly fine. 1. Following that call I said I'd take them down to the swimming pool as I knew it opened early. When I got down the attendant said it was adult only between 7.30 and 9.00. I explained about the phone call and pointed out there were only 2 people in the pool and I'd do my best to ensure we'd stay down at the shallow end and not get in their way. But he refused to let us in. The whole thing really pissed me off. What are you supposed to do with young children in a hotel? If they play quietly in the room someone complains. If you try to use the facilities to keep them occupied, you're told you can't. AIBU to feel hotels are just totally unwelcoming to young families nowadays?

GonnaGetGoingReturns · 15/08/2023 09:44

LolaSmiles · 15/08/2023 09:39

We all need to be tolerant of each other at times, and there are places where I expect children to be, well, being children, and places where parents really need to set guidelines. In this case other guests may have been more understanding if the op had less of a 'you have to put up with my kids' attitude and was actually trying to calm them down a bit/work within the hotel guidelines!
Agree with this.
There's a minority of people who will be judgey and rude at the sight of a child, but most are understanding especially in situations where a parent is doing their best.
The issue is that some parents seem to confuse developmentally appropriate behaviour and family friendly with the expectation that they can allow their children to be loud/boisterous and disruptive. Then when child-free adults or other parents object to the behaviour, they sulk and claim everyone hates children.

Agreed. I’ve been in places like hotels where adults actually do things like parent their kids (eg check in) rather than leaving them to do x y z. On some occasions I say and mean it “are you looking forward to staying?” to the child as kids like engagement.

UsingChangeofName · 15/08/2023 09:42

Several people complained about my badly behaved children. Failing to acknowledge what the constant is in this situation, I blame the hotel

Very well summed up @JustEatTheOneInTheBallPit

northernbeee · 15/08/2023 09:42

I love kids (mine are grown up), I work with kids, but no way do I want them running wild, anywhere. I would recommend you save this post and read it in 20 years time and see how you feel then!!

GonnaGetGoingReturns · 15/08/2023 09:40

KimberleyClark · 15/08/2023 09:37

I also think that spaces like supermarkets are places that need to be family friendly.

Went to an amazing supermarket in Greece once. On several levels linked by moving ramps for trolleys, and on the top level was an amazing (by supermarket standards) restaurant with a sumptuous choice of hot dishes and salads - and a supervised children’s play area.

My local Tescos has all that (not the ramps or play area!).

I’m sure in the olden days some supermarkets had play areas.

UsingChangeofName · 15/08/2023 09:39

PoshPineapple · 15/08/2023 08:24

@Elephantsdontlikechocolate Elephantsdontlikechocolate

Isn't no children in the pool at certain times age discrimination. Vile either way.

Yes, my local pool has an inflatable session which you can only partake in if you are under 14 and as I'm 50 something I'm not allowed to go and join in. Vile, utterly and completely vile, eh?

Yeah, and what about all those toddler groups and soft play places that don't let my teens go and hang out at?

What is the world coming to with its completely vile discrimination

LolaSmiles · 15/08/2023 09:39

We all need to be tolerant of each other at times, and there are places where I expect children to be, well, being children, and places where parents really need to set guidelines. In this case other guests may have been more understanding if the op had less of a 'you have to put up with my kids' attitude and was actually trying to calm them down a bit/work within the hotel guidelines!
Agree with this.
There's a minority of people who will be judgey and rude at the sight of a child, but most are understanding especially in situations where a parent is doing their best.
The issue is that some parents seem to confuse developmentally appropriate behaviour and family friendly with the expectation that they can allow their children to be loud/boisterous and disruptive. Then when child-free adults or other parents object to the behaviour, they sulk and claim everyone hates children.

GonnaGetGoingReturns · 15/08/2023 09:38

JustEatTheOneInTheBallPit · 15/08/2023 09:33

I honestly thought this thread would be about something reasonable like a hotel reneging on a promise for adjoining-connected rooms or forgetting the travel cot (these things have both happened to me)

but, no….

😂 “Several people complained about my badly behaved children. Failing to acknowledge what the constant is in this situation, I blame the hotel”

With radio silence from OP I feel sure her version of events was very much toned down. Still can’t believe the level of entitlement here on 3 counts. OP doesn’t seem to take into consideration that if circumstances were reversed and she/her DH were disturbed (staying without children) they’d have call to complain too.

Bet staff were secretly pleased when they left.

KimberleyClark · 15/08/2023 09:37

I also think that spaces like supermarkets are places that need to be family friendly.

Went to an amazing supermarket in Greece once. On several levels linked by moving ramps for trolleys, and on the top level was an amazing (by supermarket standards) restaurant with a sumptuous choice of hot dishes and salads - and a supervised children’s play area.

UsingChangeofName · 15/08/2023 09:36

Charlize43 · 15/08/2023 08:49

Maybe choose the appropriate, designated space for excited, noisy squealing children where they can run amok: Center Parcs; Butlins; A reform school; etc.

EhrlicheFrau · 15/08/2023 09:36

Lenor · 15/08/2023 09:31

I don’t agree with you, because I don’t think the way I feel is specific to adult-geared spaces. I think even when queing for soft play at the weekend I felt the pressure to keep my children in line, quiet, respectful. It isn’t so much about where we are, it’s about societies inappropriate expections of what age-appropriate behaviour actually is.

I also think that spaces like supermarkets are places that need to be family friendly. Sure, that might be because I’m in my ‘selfish’ family bubble… but I don’t think I’d feel any differently if it was any other large percentage of the population that felt unable to use such spaces without large societal pressure to keep their children under wraps.

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Supermarkets is a tricky one - you'd have to explain in more detail what you mean by 'family friendly' and then see if that was at the expense of being equally friendly to other groups in society, for example those with mobility or sight issues who would absolutely struggle if kids were encouraged to run free even more than they already are.

Lenor · 15/08/2023 09:34

Goldencup · 15/08/2023 06:49

I think some of this is our society's reliance on the motor car. If the children have walked to the shops they are more likely to stay still and quiet in the shops. When I had under 8s no way would I have attempted a shopping trip without some " outdoor time" first. Sticking them in the car ( strapped in no less) then expecting them to be calm is unrealistic IMO.

I was frequently complimented on my DCs' behaviour, they were no better behaved than other children, they were managed. This did mean being up and out by 9 most mornings c' est la vie.

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Whilst I agree with you somewhat, I also think that sometimes a car is needed for whatever reason and its societies view that needs to change and not the method of transport people use. We did drive to the shopping centre and you’re right, it absolutely is part of the reason my children were more difficult to contain than usual. For context, I’m owner of a forest school provision which is in my back garden. We as a family only own one car, which is used about twice a week. We live in a village with its own high street less than a 10 minute walk from our house. We walk everywhere, and my children are extremely fit.

I still needed to use my car that day to get to a specific shop, I needed to take my children and I don’t think that the pressure that is placed on mothers (yep, the woman specifically, no one would have batted an eyelid at dad) to have their children behave like mini adults is appropriate.

JustEatTheOneInTheBallPit · 15/08/2023 09:33

I honestly thought this thread would be about something reasonable like a hotel reneging on a promise for adjoining-connected rooms or forgetting the travel cot (these things have both happened to me)

but, no….

😂 “Several people complained about my badly behaved children. Failing to acknowledge what the constant is in this situation, I blame the hotel”

Lenor · 15/08/2023 09:31

Tiredalwaystired · 15/08/2023 07:53

Theres a huge number on this board that have been where you are now.

When you and your children are older you will ALL be saying what others are saying now (including your teenagers), I guarantee it.

Youre in your young family bubble, which can make a parent selfish. It’s normal to feel that way for a short while but you won’t always. There are plenty of places which ARE geared towards children and families, from Pizza Hut, to morning cinema showings, to family swim to soft play but there also needs to be places where other people’s kids don’t need to impinge on everyone else negatively. And there’s the great in between where children behave as appropriately as they can for their age and adults dont bat an eyelid.

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I don’t agree with you, because I don’t think the way I feel is specific to adult-geared spaces. I think even when queing for soft play at the weekend I felt the pressure to keep my children in line, quiet, respectful. It isn’t so much about where we are, it’s about societies inappropriate expections of what age-appropriate behaviour actually is.

I also think that spaces like supermarkets are places that need to be family friendly. Sure, that might be because I’m in my ‘selfish’ family bubble… but I don’t think I’d feel any differently if it was any other large percentage of the population that felt unable to use such spaces without large societal pressure to keep their children under wraps.

GonnaGetGoingReturns · 15/08/2023 09:30

Charlize43 · 15/08/2023 08:49

Maybe choose the appropriate, designated space for excited, noisy squealing children where they can run amok: Center Parcs; Butlins; A reform school; etc.

Howling at reform school!

PutinSmellsPassItOn · 15/08/2023 09:28

I always get apartments these days........usually works our cheaper as well.

Assssssssssss · 15/08/2023 09:27

ImNotReallySpartacus · 14/08/2023 18:24

It's a perfectly good word which does not get used enough in my view.

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Now I've slept on what I've said,you have changed my mind there are worse words than bratty.

Toptotoe · 15/08/2023 09:27

Yes you are being unreasonable. It’s very telling that you think it is acceptable for your kids to run around a hotel lobby and that everyone should be fine with it. Nobody cares you have had a long journey. Do you care if they have come away to have a break to relax? I have 3 children and in that situation my partner or myself would entertain the kids while the other checked in. It really shouldn’t be that hard to control your kids.

KimberleyClark · 15/08/2023 09:22

EhrlicheFrau · 15/08/2023 09:11

What makes you think it's ok to run around the lobby/check in area at a Premier Inn (or any other budget hotel) exactly? There are still other people doing things that need concentration, dangers, other tired people and so on. No hotel lobby is the place to be letting off steam, as the OP puts it!

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Fair comment.

CarpetSlipper · 15/08/2023 09:19

If your kids need to let off steam, they need to be taken out to do so. A walk or visit to a playpark before check in would be more appropriate.
Similarly, in the morning you could have gone for a walk. YABU

ThinWomansBrain · 15/08/2023 09:17

Ontheclifftop · 14/08/2023 10:27

There were other children staying in the hotel, so it was obviously meant to be family friendly.

Maybe the other children were well behaved
And clearly didn't have an entitled parent trying to ignore the 'adult only' restriction on early morning swimming.

EhrlicheFrau · 15/08/2023 09:16

frumpalertt · 15/08/2023 09:10

Crikey, this thread convinces me more than ever that children need to stay at family-friendly hotels, and that there need to be other places that are adult-only. With modern British parenting, I can't see any other way tbh.

To be fair, lots of parents are not siding with the OP on this one either. Most of us don't want other people's children running around lobbies or check in areas, screaming early in the morning, or demanding pool schedules are changed to suit them! We all need to be tolerant of each other at times, and there are places where I expect children to be, well, being children, and places where parents really need to set guidelines. In this case other guests may have been more understanding if the op had less of a 'you have to put up with my kids' attitude and was actually trying to calm them down a bit/work within the hotel guidelines!

Sirzy · 15/08/2023 09:13

frumpalertt · 15/08/2023 09:10

Crikey, this thread convinces me more than ever that children need to stay at family-friendly hotels, and that there need to be other places that are adult-only. With modern British parenting, I can't see any other way tbh.

Please don’t tar us all with the same brush. Ds is 13 and a “family friendly” hotel would be a nightmare for him! He may be autistic and have many issues but he loves going to hotels and knows how to behave in them

EhrlicheFrau · 15/08/2023 09:11

KimberleyClark · 15/08/2023 09:06

I’m childfree but can honestly say I’ve been disturbed far more often by adults having impromptu parties in their rooms, or just talking really loudly in the small hours than by children. That said I wouldn’t take kindly to children thundering up and down the corridor or screaming. And I don’t think adults only early morning swim sessions are discriminatory. Running round the lobby, depends whether it’s a Premier Inn or a more high end place which serves morning coffee/afternoon tea and has sofas and fireplaces.

What makes you think it's ok to run around the lobby/check in area at a Premier Inn (or any other budget hotel) exactly? There are still other people doing things that need concentration, dangers, other tired people and so on. No hotel lobby is the place to be letting off steam, as the OP puts it!

frumpalertt · 15/08/2023 09:10

Crikey, this thread convinces me more than ever that children need to stay at family-friendly hotels, and that there need to be other places that are adult-only. With modern British parenting, I can't see any other way tbh.

KimberleyClark · 15/08/2023 09:06

I’m childfree but can honestly say I’ve been disturbed far more often by adults having impromptu parties in their rooms, or just talking really loudly in the small hours than by children. That said I wouldn’t take kindly to children thundering up and down the corridor or screaming. And I don’t think adults only early morning swim sessions are discriminatory. Running round the lobby, depends whether it’s a Premier Inn or a more high end place which serves morning coffee/afternoon tea and has sofas and fireplaces.