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Original poster

Am I paying too much to live at my partners house?

157 replies

RJCHelp · 09/08/2023 14:32

At the beginning of the year I moved into my partners house and I offered that I would pay £600 per month (not including food, I contribute separately to this). I came to this number as this was the amount I used to pay for my mortgage + service charge at my flat.

I have since found out that his bills (utilities only) total £800 per month but in recent months, he has been reducing these e.g cancelling sky and moving onto a cheaper energy tarriff (his electric car sucks most of the energy!) so essentially, I am paying for more than 50% of the bills here and he always said prior to me moving in that he didn’t need any help with the mortgage… HOWEVER I am better off than when I was living at my flat (£725 pre inflation) 🙁.

Do you think my contribution is too much? I am essentially paying £200 towards his mortgage here…

Please help x

OP posts:
Tothemoonandbackx · 09/08/2023 14:43

I'm in the process of letting my partner move in with me, no way would I have let him offer to pay more than what was fair/equal to both of us. It should ideally have been discussed before you moved in. Nothing to stop you saying that you think you need a proper discussion about finances moving forward.

TaigaSno · 09/08/2023 14:41

Instead of offering to pay an amount based on what you paid to live somewhere else, you should have worked out together what half of the costs actually are and paid that amount.
It's not too late to do that. Make a list of the outgoing payments and pay half of them.

CurlewKate · 09/08/2023 14:41

What is your legal position if he asks you to leave or you split up?

flipent · 09/08/2023 14:40

Sorry - I miss read the initial post.

Nothing wrong with contributing to the mortgage. I stand by my original statement that you need to look at the outgoings in this property / relationship and come up with a figure. Nothing to do with what you used to pay.

flipent · 09/08/2023 14:37

This is absolutely not ok.
Your previous outgoings have no bearing on the amount you should pay now.
The amount should be based on the total costs and fairly split (which could include a different split on the electric bill because of his car).

He's absolutely laughing at the moment. I'd be fuming that he allowed this situation happen and continue - but you need to wise up. You've let him walk all over you.

DNo · 09/08/2023 14:36

I've never understood why people are so against paying rent to someone they share their lives with who happen to own their home.

If you lived anywhere else you wouldn't think twice about paying towards someone's mortgage i.e. landlords. Why would you feel differently paying someone you love to live in and share their home?

If you thought that was a fair payment when you moved in why would you change it?

MrsTerryPratchett · 09/08/2023 14:34

Interesting that your paying half but he's in charge of cancelling utilities.

And no, it isn't a good idea to subsidise him.