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AIBU?

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Original poster

To leave two 15year olds home alone overnight

114 replies

homealone5 · 08/08/2023 10:18

Name changed for this due to family being here, some tiny details changed too so it's not too outing.

I have 15-year-old twins who are very sensible and quite independent. They travel to school on their own (separately) in different boroughs, one comes home herself about 7pm after her after school activities, the other stays home alone until I get home from work, sometimes late. They have been very comfortable being home by themselves for years during the day and at nights when I get home about 11pm. I was a keyworker during lock down and they were home alone all day in 2020 (age 13).

I want to take on a couple of night shifts and they have been assuring me that it's okay to go away overnight. I work weekend mornings sometimes and often leave home at 6am before they wake, and I see them around 1130am when I return.

At what age would you think it will be okay to leave children alone overnight assuming there are no special needs and no risk taking behaviour? If you had 15 year old twins would you leave them home overnight if you are going to be an hour away? I remember babysitting other people's kids overnight when I was 15 😅

I know there have been posts about what age to leave children home alone. I am asking now about how you feel now in 2023 and what you think is okay.

AIBU to leave 15year olds at home from 5pm Saturday night to 11am Sunday morning?

OP posts:
SiousieSoo · 08/08/2023 10:34

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Thelondonone · 08/08/2023 10:34

I have said yabu but I think it’s more just ´what if’. NSPCC do suggest 16 but there’s no legal minimum age to be left alone. How far off being 16 are they? Have you neighbours they could go to if there was a problem?

cansu · 08/08/2023 10:33

Let's look at it this way. The school leaves your 15 year old unsupervised on a trip overnight. Would that be a safeguarding risk? Yes of course it would. Why is it different? No your kids are not going to be taken into care but questions will be asked. If you are OK with that then go for it.

Hoppinggreen · 08/08/2023 10:31

No I wouldn’t
And it actually could be a safeguarding concern- not leaving them per se but if anything happened that needed any kind of official involvement there could be an issue. I know this from a previous conversation with a friend who is Head of Child Protection (or similar title) for our Local Council.

Tiredanddistracted · 08/08/2023 10:31

cansu · 08/08/2023 10:21

Personally I wouldn't. It would be seen as a safeguarding concern if school found out.

It absolutely would not. Yes, if they're 10. Maybe if they're 13. 15? No safeguarding concern.

cansu · 08/08/2023 10:31

I work in a school. I would report it to the safeguarding lead. They would undoubtedly call the parents to discuss this. If the OP thinks she can justify this then fine. Let's imagine her girls invite someone round. They get some alcohol. They get sick and need help. Most kids eventually do things their parents do not expect or approve of. I certainly did and I am sure my parents would have said the same about me as the OP. I worked hard and was seemingly a very good daughter. It is naive to think that your kids might not experiment. Being around to ensure they are home safe and in bed is the basic minimum.

Comedycook · 08/08/2023 10:30

I wouldn't do this. But that's just me. If I heard of someone else doing it, I wouldn't be outraged though assuming they were very sensible and either you or someone else was contactable.

as for it being a safeguarding issue...well maybe but what are ss realistically going to do? Put your kids in care?! Come on!

readingmynightaway · 08/08/2023 10:30

Depends on the maturity of the child.
Your neighbourhood.
I would imagine a 15 yr olds are well equipped by then to fend for themselves.

SiousieSoo · 08/08/2023 10:29

cansu · 08/08/2023 10:21

Personally I wouldn't. It would be seen as a safeguarding concern if school found out.

How ridiculous! This would absolutely not be seen as a safeguarding concern if the teens were judged (based on previous behaviour and knowledge of their character) to be sensible, mature and reliable. Such a silly comment, why bother replying if you are going to make such an ill informed comment.

fullbloom87 · 08/08/2023 10:28

I would leave them overnight at 15 but the law says they have to be 16.

randomuser2021 · 08/08/2023 10:26

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Removed at poster's request due to privacy concerns.

Tempone · 08/08/2023 10:25

Personally I wouldn't. It would be seen as a safeguarding concern if school found out.

I really doubt that.

Op I wouldn't judge at all, they sound sensible you know them best we have video chats etc these days which offer good peace of mind too.

cansu · 08/08/2023 10:23

I was a very well behaved teen who did not take risks. If I then acquired a boyfriend I would absolutely have invited that boy over. Your lovely twins are safe partly because you are there.

cansu · 08/08/2023 10:21

Personally I wouldn't. It would be seen as a safeguarding concern if school found out.