Help me do this pl - splitting holiday villa costs

This. Eating out with a precedent of others being funded by you, sounds seriously inadvisable. I would say now that you're ok with paying a bit more than your share for the accommodation, but food and transport will need to be divided per person. If they then start quibbling about how much the kids eat etc then it might be time to pull out.

Yes, they do get two rooms, because they are family units. It’s not OP’s job to subsidise other people’s kids.

The children are not OP’s problem, they are their parents problem.

So many freeloaders on this thread.

No they don't. They get their one room. Their children get the other room.

Perhaps you need to cancel the holiday.

I agree the rental and the food/drinks/transport costs are divided per head. Simple. Teenagers are not children in terms of appetite, they eat at least as much as adults. Surely you would not expect to pay one third of a restaurant or a supermarket bill when you are only two of the nine.

Everyone going has the same amount of bedroom space. Some of the people going can't afford to pay because they are kids or not working.

Why don't you bill the kids your excess and ask them to start paying their debt off when they start working?

Yes this. With an en suite if there aren’t en suites in all the rooms.

I agree you are subsiding the other people so you definitely need to bring this up now. Could you imagine every meal out will be split three ways, every supermarket shop the same!

I honestly don’t know why people think it’s the right way to split and I wonder why your friend thinks like this too?

It sounds like your DH is fine with that and you can afford it. Is there a particular reason why you don't want to? You've acknowledged that they are less financially stable than you. Is it a matter of money or principle?

Thus why a split on per person of off spring or child at half price would work out fairer - the children/off spring share communal bathroom and often don’t drink wine at meals etc, so get a cheaper rate but are not free and subsidised by other parties

Bedroom 1 - DH & I
Bedroom 2 - Best Friend and her DH
Bedroom 3 - Friend's teenaged kids (2)
Bedroom 4 - Friend's BIL & his DP
Bedroom 5 - Friend's BIL's adult child

Ok, I think you should split the bill 9 ways, then charge 75% of that per dependent (£250 rounded) to account for no bathroom, and 125% (£400 rounded) for the adults. That gives £800 for you and DH, £1300 for your Best friend's family, and £1050 for BIL's family. That means you have £150 kitty for villa snacks.

My friends and I often go away and share a big house. Not everyone has kids or partners (me being one) and we tend to split it by adult.

My question is - if the BILs family wasn't coming would you get a smaller place and would it be cheaper? If not, I'd just do the 3 way split but make sure it's for accommodation only not anything else like food / transport.

Villa shares are always split per room. Also will you be covering the food consumption of the kids. Parents should not be expecting you to cover their kids holiday. Also if you don't set expectations now you will be covering food bills for kids. It will be a merry " oh we split this 3 ways?" At every meal. My blood would boil. I would find it all really tense.

This seems to be the recurring issue with splitting villas. I’d iron out if it’s just this expected to be a three way split or is everything in the holiday then expected to be split three ways also?

If so then buying in food/ drinks/ meals out/ taxis/ transport is going to end up WAY more expensive if everything is assumed to be also split three ways.

Rather than simply you taking a couple of hundred hit on a room you could be well out of pocket subsiding everything for essentially two families?

I get why you feel 3vway split is unfair, but I don't think a per room split is fair either. Because now a big en suite room costs the same as a small room that has to share a bathroom. So if it was them posting on MN, 'we're going on a holiday and friends wants us to pay for our room and then they same amount for our kids that have to use a communal bathroom'
Like I kind of get their point too. If this was a hotel, you wouldn't pay the same for an en suite than a smaller room and kids normally pay less

We are going abroad for daughter’s wedding and villa costs have been split per person including teenage children. It’s a second wedding so majority of wedding costs met by bride and groom.

That is what she is relying you on, trying to guilt trip you into it.

Don’t fall for it, it will sour the holiday for you anyway.

This is a good way to word it.

My god I hope my friend won't be a CF! Can't just bear the thought of her asking to split the bill 3 way for 9 eaters! That will sour my holiday tbh

so communicate now that you want to divide everything equally, otherwise it’ll not only sour your holiday but your friendship and the run up to the holiday

OP is not responsible for a BIL she doesn’t even know 🙄

No, being a people pleased is never a good thing.

OP, your ‘friend’ is using you to subsidise what is essentially their family holiday.

This is your friend so you are perfectly entitled to tell DH that you don’t want to split 3 ways. If it were his friend then he would have more of a say.

Message your friend separately and say you won’t be able to afford to pay for rooms for he family, and the villa cost should be split by bedroom.

If you're booking, you'll get the check-in info and you send a message before arrival allocating rooms.