Please or to access all these features

AIBU?

Share your dilemmas and get honest opinions from other Mumsnetters.

When one partner wants more/any children, but the other doesn't.

153 replies

sadie0108 · 05/08/2023 21:40

AIBU to be upset that my partner basically has the final decision whether we have another child, because I obviously can't force him to have another child, but he can ensure it doesn't happen without me needing to agree?
We have one child just now and are very happy. I would love another and we are in a position (financially etc.) to do so.
I would have hated to grow up as an only child and our family is already very small. Our son has only one cousin, who lives in a different country, so I just keep picturing a very lonely childhood for him.
My husband has gave (what I consider) silly reasons why he doesn't want another child, such as we would need to buy a bigger car. Again, this is something we would be able to do financially.
It goes without saying that I'm heartbroken at the thought of not having another child, but this post is more about me being upset/annoyed that its my husband has all the control in the decision and I have none. Anyone else in this situation?

OP posts:
SensitiveB · 05/08/2023 21:44

Have you or him ever agreed on how many children you’d like? It seems quite a tricky thing to disagree on at this stage of a relationship as means one of you won’t be happy . I’m sorry this sounds tricky

Meerkatdog · 05/08/2023 21:44

You'll have loads of posters telling you you're being unreasonable and you can't make someone have a child, but I don't think it's as simple as that and I think you have just as much right to have another child as he does to not have one, especially as you only have one. It's quite normal to want a 2 child family and the pain of not being able to have any more is very hard to deal with. He shouldn't want to put you through that.

Marwoodsbigbreak · 05/08/2023 21:41

Why would you need a bigger car?