To explain to you how OCD feels

@Question10 thank you so much for your advice! I wish I could take sleeping meds but I have an asd 3 year old who doesn't sleep much... I will speak to my gp about ERP thank you

@Helplessandheartbroke sorry to hear you are struggling. Your gp might be able to prescribe sleeping tablets. But otherwise, I suggest (as hard as it is) acknowledging the thoughts are there, don’t try to “fight” them or act in a compulsion to try and get them to stop. They are just thoughts. The thoughts are not you. Once you can take the power out of the thought, OCD will lose its grip on you. It thrives on an anxious reaction to the thoughts.
Please try and seek an ERP therapist who specialises in OCD.

@WouldRatherBeAPieceOftToast that doesn't sound like something they should have brushed off like that! Glad you ended up with the help you needed. @Question10 thank you! I'm not on social media but will speak to my gp. Any advice on how to sleep?

Hello
Therapist here! This is a debilitating thing to have. Lots of CBT advice but ERP therapy is my suggestion to combat this type of OCD. There’s a page on Instagram called “mypureocdawakening” which has some great advice on it.

I found it was so hard to get help. I spoke to psychiatric nurses for CBT and they wanted to know lots about my difficult childhood but when I mentioned obtrusive thoughts and how much it was harming me I was told everybody has them.

@slapmyarseandcallmemary love the name! Sorry to hear you're struggling too. Anything you want to talk about?

@WouldRatherBeAPieceOftToast I start cbt Monday and have been on fluoxitine for 2 weeks they've not kicked in yet! I'm defo at the worse before better stage and losing my beautiful dog hasn't helped and the guilt that's come with that is torture.

Whats SSRIs please?

So comforting to hear you've got through this. I'm sure I've had ocd since I was 6 but only recently come to terms with it as I can't cope dealing with it on my own anymore. The thoughts and worries literally wake me in the night it's 24/7

I have intrusive thoughts. It's like mental torture.

Hi @Helplessandheartbroke I can't actually remember if I commented on the original thread or if just bookmarked it for helpful strategies.

I'm sorry you are finding things hard. I struggled "just" with thoughts. I had CBT and got tablets (SSRIs) too. At times it was very hard. That was in my twenties.

I am 40 now and I am a better. Like not a bit better, but really better as in I don't have the thoughts anymore. Or I maybe have them two or three times a year, not several times a day. So there is hope. Sending hugs xxx

@WouldRatherBeAPieceOftToast @LolaLaLaLou @ocd7 hi! Thank you for commenting! Just sat here crying because noone understands what I'm going through and what goes on in my head! Saying that I don't understand it so how can they?! How are you all?

@Helplessandheartbroke didn't post originally but I'm here now. Is everything okay?

@Helplessandheartbroke not a PP but your comment brought this to my active page whilst I was scrolling.

I don't have confirmed OCD but I think there are elements of it that I struggle with, mainly obsessive/intrusive thoughts. I think it stems from anxiety but who knows what causes the shitty mindset.

Hope you're ok ❤

@Helplessandheartbroke I am. Is there something you want to talk about 😊?

Edited because the smiley came out like a 90s mobile text smiley

Hey is anyone still on this thread?

I also look at people that do these normal things like driving without a single worry and I just seem so far removed. I used to do it in my 20s quite freely but it seems a distant dream now. And then I get cross at myself! I'm literally an anxious mess unless I am completely alone, inside. Then I feel much calmer.

Yes! @Worriedmumx I know exactly what you mean. I said to my husband the other day, I wish I could fast forward and be 60ish so I know everyone is ok and more independent. I too find this middle bit exhausting.

I think I have always been anxious and brought up by perfectionist anxious parents. My mum is a checker too... checks doors, plugs, etc and I'm never quite good enough.

And then stress at uni made it worse

Then having kids made it much worse

Then getting a job that involves checking, precision, data etc made it worse

And finally, I'm pretty sure perimenopause is making me even more crackers still!

It sounds mental writing it down but I worry I'll do something without realising and this makes simple tasks very hard for me eg sending an email or a birthday card, or driving a car

I end up doing reassurance tasks to "make me feel better" eg taking pictures of said birthday card or get husband to write it

I am trying to get a drs appointment but they are making it hard to get in front of my GP

it's utterly exhausting! Every day I wake up and say "no not today, I'm not doing the recording or checking etc" but then I just can't not do it

I know I need to break the cycle

I completely get this, I was diagnosed with postnatal ocd but I think I’ve had it for a while. Since I had my baby I just need the world to be good and safe and even simple things turn into catastrophic outcomes. My sister had an arguement at work with a colleague and I was convinced the person would follow her home and set the house on fire ( absolutely no reason why) so I slept on the couch for a month so I could look out every night. I now also can’t watch the news because if I see something bad I have to obsess how to prevent it and then it leads to me performing compulsions to keep my baby safe. I now have a sort of butterfly effect of guilt if I see anything bad that’s happened even on the other side of the world I find a way to think it’s my fault for not being vigilant enough or not doing enough as a person. I look back at some of my worst times with ocd now and I know I was completely erratic but when a thought gets into your head it feels 100% real. Find myself always wishing I was old so I just know my baby has made it through life okay because I can’t do this middle part of life it’s exhausting.

I came on to check if someone had mentioned OCD UK. They're great for differed but also great for supporting parents / families of sufferers.

Sorry you are suffering with this too OP. Mine tends to come as horrible thoughts of terrible things happening to the people I love. The images are so detailed and graphic and I then have to do a certain 'task' to make sure it doesn't happen, normally check the locks on the door 3 times of check the cooker and all the plugs are off 3 times etc. I once went to counselling for it but didn't really find it helped much. I was much too embarrassed to tell the therapist my other symptom which is the constant sentence that my brain tells me all day every day like you describe. I've never told anyone in real life as I worry they will think I'm crazy or an awful person but if I ever have a vision of something terrible happening I have to repeat the phrase "f**k you "my full name" you stupid whore everybody hates you so f##king much". I normally have to repeat it three times in a row and on some days I need to do it 50+ times so I'm normally saying it to myself most of the day. It makes me feel really crap about myself but I can't stop my brain from needing to say it.

Hi op, I had the exact same theme and thoughts as you regarding my partner a few years ago. It was one of the hardest times of my life. I had been feeling anxious leading up to it, then one day I had the thought and it felt like “combined” itself with a wave of physical anxiety. And from that moment the thought would just repeat and repeat, I felt extremely physically anxious and just could not function properly. And felt SO ashamed and that I couldn’t reveal these thoughts to anyone because they’d just say well maybe he’s not the one for you (which I knew wasn’t true!) it honestly feels like there are two sides of my brain during a bad patch. One side repeating these awful thoughts. The other side either trying to neutralise them, but also thinking why can’t I get control of this!?? That’s how it felt to me. It feels like there must be a connection missing in my brain to be able to dismiss certain thoughts. I read a lot of books on the subject and decided to take up running, and I think this helped to burn off some adrenaline and help me to regain control (not really sure how it worked!!) im equally fascinated and horrified that my brain periodically does this to me.

I’ve had other themes throughout my life. When I was younger I had counting/tapping rituals but then also episodes where it was just distressing thoughts. Aren’t we the lucky ones!!! 😦

My DD15 has this and is just about to start CBT with ERP (privately, because CAMHS is rubbish).

It's taken ages to find out what's bothering her, and find her appropriate help, because she does her best to hide it, even when she was very clearly suffering from something. Even now she won't say what her intrusive thoughts are, and only very vaguely what they're about.

I think that feeling like you need to hide it because it's shameful in some way (or too painful) is actually part of the condition, and this allows the condition to get worse and blocks the sufferer from getting effective help. Even a PP was saying that they hid their intrusive thoughts from a therapist, because they were worried the therapist would judge them... IT'S A THERAPIST! They have heard it ALL before, and they know it's part of the disorder! But this is the disorder at work, protecting itself by convincing you that these thoughts only happen to you personally, that you are in some way responsible for them, and that they must be hidden at all costs because (insert any justification here).

Echoing the recommendation for ocd-uk given above. They have a great section on how to find a good therapist, too.

My heart goes out to all those suffering from this.

My son has this, intrusive thoughts, and a constant need to do the same thing over and over again. Constant checking,counting etc.It's very tiring/wearing for all of us. He's currently waiting for therapy and has just been referred. It's taken months to get to this point. I feel if he hadn't been referred; if I couldn't see a light at the end of the tunnel I think I would also be seeking assistance from psychiatric services.
I hope you get therapy, and all of the other posters. It's so sad.

Mine is ruminations and catastrophising.
And also what if/not trusting myself. So I've broken doors and windows by checking hundreds of times.
It's a horrible illness.